Community Matters

I don’t believe we were created to be alone. All of us need others we can bond with, learn from, and rely on. Creating this community requires intentionality, both as a seeker but also to ensure we are inviting others in.

I have always been blessed to be part of a community that has included family, friends, neighbors, school, church, co-workers, and so on. I do think at times I took it for granted. I am also very aware that many others do not have this same blessing.

It has only been over the last 4 years that I have realized how much my community matters to who I am as a spouse, father, brother, friend, leader, co-worker, neighbor, and overall human being. These years are indicative of a journey where I have increased my faith and aligned my actions to what I believe is my desired purpose, both in my vocation (work) and in my personal life. None of it has been achieved on my own. It has been through relationships with others that model the way, provide advice, create opportunities, and generally help me to be the best version of myself. As a man of faith, I know I owe all of this to my creator, but I also know that he spoke to and influenced me through others – my community.

Here are some tips if you yearn for a stronger community:

1. Identify your values – before we can seek and build the community that will enable us to be the best version of ourselves, we must know our values. For me, they include faith, family, friends, supporting others, integrity, just to name a few. Without an understanding of our values, we are unable to be intentional about who we surround ourselves with.
2. Network – seek out individuals that you believe may share your values. This could be someone at work that appears to lead others with kindness, someone at church that seems on fire with their faith, someone in your neighborhood or apartment complex that goes out of their way to help others. You can also find people by putting yourself in situations where you may come across like minded individuals – at a conference, a roundtable event, and so on.
3. Step up – sometimes we must be the person that is going to create community for others. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone to be a leader that plans that event, joins that committee, creates that group, brings others together. Depending on your personality, this can be scary, but I promise you that when you take the leap of faith you will be pleased with the results. You can change lives.

A few weeks ago, I attended an event hosted by an awesome individual that is in my father’s group. He is a business owner with a strong faith and had arranged a local Christian and country artist to play a concert set for an intimate group of less than 50 people. As I listened to the beautiful music sitting next to another individual from the same father’s group, I teared up thinking about this part of my community.

A catalytic moment occurred in late 2020 when a mentor of mine asked me to consider starting a father’s group at my parish. Initially apprehensive of the additional responsibility, after a few months I said yes and he supported me and led the way, from which at the beginning of this year I took over leading the group with another father. The community that resulted has changed my life, and hopefully is doing so for others in the group. None of it would have happened without firming up my values, seeking to build relationships with those that share them, and then being willing to step up to be part of the solution to further create community for others.

I pray and hope that you have community that helps you be the best version of yourself, and if not, that this testimony and or the tips shared may help guide you in the right direction. Community matters, we all need and deserve it, and in my opinion, should always be willing to help others find theirs.?