Community is the bridge to connection

I thought I had invented hiding.

It seems silly - and even embarrassing - to admit now, but I actually had to learn that I wasn't alone in hiding.

As I've talked to people over the years about their unhiding journeys, I have repeatedly heard that former "hiders" thought they were the only ones in their situation. Hiding feels incredibly lonely and exhausting.

Hiding (aka covering) remains a widespread issue, as underscored by Deloitte's updated research,? "Uncovering Culture " (2023).? (Note: the last version of this report was issued in 2013, and reading it impacted me significantly. I learned what a pervasive problem hiding was in the business world and how it negatively affected connection and productivity in the workplace.)

The current report details how people conceal aspects of themselves at work, impacting productivity, connection, and leadership.?

• 60% of workers report covering at work within the last 12 months. This is nearly the same percentage (61%) of respondents who reported covering at work in Deloitte's 2013 report.
• 74% of workers report being negatively impacted by the need to cover at their organization.
• Of workers who have been at their organization for at least five years, 85% report that the need to cover has either stayed the same or increased during this time.
• Leaders cover at the highest rates, 67%; the higher you get on the ladder of success, the more you feel the need to hide.

However, there is hope. 88% of employees recognize their organization's efforts to mitigate the need to cover, underscoring the solution of building community in fostering connection and reducing the need to hide.?

The third step in Unhiding is to Build Your Community.?

For me, it was the moment I went to a picnic with fellow members of the Lucky Fin Project in Michigan. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, my emotional world went from black and white to color in an instant. I was no longer alone. I had found my community—a space for shared experiences.

Last month, I shared the story of how I let someone into my life and was able to unhide for the first time. If I had not done that, there's no chance I would have been ready to embrace the Lucky Fin experience.

After you invite in "your person," a curiosity builds to find other people like you because you start to accept that part of yourself. The blinders come off.

The good news is that finding your community is easier than ever. Between Google, Facebook, Reddit, and other online platforms, you can find a group or a community of shared experiences. If you still can't find one, start one; chances are high that others are looking for you too.

Employee Resource Groups (ERGs/BRGs/PRGs) and Affinity Groups are also key ways to find community and share experiences with others. Just look at the more than 16 ERGs at Google ! The breadth of ERGs at Google and other companies shows that people crave shared experience and connection.

I'll discuss the Deloitte report and ERGs more in future newsletters, as there's a lot to unpack there, but for now, I hope you see the power a community can bring to unhiding and creating a sense of belonging.

Connection is the North Star we're striving for, and unhiding is the bridge to get us there.

Have a great month and Happy Valentine's Day. And please remember, you don't have to do everything singlehandedly; a community is waiting for you to join.

Warmest, Ruth

P.S. Please click here to start your unhiding journey with us.

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