Feeling Emotions

We all swim around in our emotions and feelings without naming them or even being conscious of them, just as fish swim blithely through water.  We may think we know what is propelling us through life, when in fact we can be as unaware of emotional forces that propel us as these fish are unaware of water. But emotions are as critical to our world as water is to the world of fish. Fish may be able to thrive without being aware of water they swim in – but, we humans stumble and fail to thrive when we are unaware of emotional forces that operate within us.

Feelings are cornerstones of our survival

Emotions are physical signals of the body reacting to external stimuli – when we are afraid of something, our hearts begin to race, our mouths become dry, our skin turns pale and our muscles contract. Feelings are what arise as brain interprets – feelings occur after we become aware in our brain of such physical changes; only then do we experience the feeling of fear.

Feelings are formed by emotions

Brain is constantly receiving signals from body, registering what is going on inside of us — it then processes these signals in neural maps. Feelings occur when these maps are read and it becomes apparent that emotional changes have been recorded. Feelings are sparked by emotions. 

Emotions are fleeting — feelings they provoke persist and grow over lifetime

Because emotions initiate feelings, and feelings in turn initiate emotions, individual feelings can prompt a never-ending cycle of emotions.

Learning to recognise and differentiate between emotions and feelings is critical to effective communication

Feelings are not just the shady side of reason but that they help us to reach decisions as well.

TWO PARTIES FEELING?

A very obvious answer – "I" ("you") and various people I (you) communicate with. At this stage it is important to understand significance of words because words influence thoughts which in turn drive actions and communication. So, what are names of two parties in communication?

1. The Beneficiary. "You". The only reason you are engaging in communication is because you want to, because you have a vested interest and you benefit from this communication. If you are not benefiting from such communication, you should not.
2. The Benefactor. Various people that you communicate with. These various people whom you seek to influence from your communication – in a way that impacts them and you positively in a win-win negotiation.

The entire negotiations and inter-actions ('mutual actions' to influence each other) need to be designed to evoke desired feelings in each other. In a win-win negotiation, roles of the beneficiary and the benefactor keep rotating between you and people you are negotiating with and whom you seek to influence and be influenced from.

HOW ARE FEELINGS FORMED?

Feelings anybody experiences is a manifestation of the following three experiences:

1. The Cause

There has to be a cause for feelings to be aroused between two parties seeking to influence each other. Cause is a combination of these two:

• ālambana – natural underlying emotional state of each party
• Uddipana – external events which stimulate emotions that ride on ālambana, the natural state of mind

This explains why different people with different experiences in life and consequently different states of mind react differently to similar events – the cause is different for them. To reinforce, the cause is not just the external event – the cause also combines peoples' natural underlying emotional state, the feelings that have grown over years of their experiences.

2. Physical Experiences

The impact or consequences of the cause is physical or outward manifestation – apprehend the emotion experienced from the cause. When something happens (the cause), heart begins to race, mouth becomes dry, skin turns pale and muscles contract. This reaction (the experience) occurs automatically and unconsciously.

3. Emotions

Emotions are also the impact of cause – physical experiences are visible effects of these emotions, like changes in facial expression and body language, revealing our emotions stimulated by the cause.

These emotions are:

1. love, leads to feelings of joy and attraction. You cannot experience love and remorse at the same time.
2. optimism, leads to feelings of joy and expectation. You cannot experience optimism and disapproval at the same time.
3. guilt, leads to feelings of joy and fear. You cannot experience guilt and envy at the same time. Guilt is an emotional experience that occurs when you believe you have compromised standards and bear significant responsibility for that violation. Guilt is an affective state in which you experience conflict at having done — happily — something that one believes one should not have done — suffering from fear. People who feel guilty may be more likely to exercise restraint, avoid self-indulgence, and exhibit less prejudice. Guilt appears to prompt reparatory behaviors to alleviate the negative emotions that it engenders — people appear to engage in targeted and specific reparatory behaviors toward the persons they wronged or offended. Alternately, guilt may lead to repression — attempt to direct your own desires and impulses toward pleasurable instincts by excluding guilt from your consciousness and holding or subduing them in the unconscious. Guilt and shame maintain beneficial relationships — which would lead to a predominant feeling of fear, instead of joy or disgust.
4. pride, leads to feelings of joy and anger. You cannot experience pride and despair at the same time.
5. delight, leads to feelings of joy and surprise. You cannot experience delight and pessimism at the same time.
6. morbidness, leads to feelings of joy and disgust. You cannot be morbid and sentimental at the same time.
7. submission, leads to feelings of attraction and fear. You cannot experience submission and contempt at the same time.
8. curiosity, leads to feelings of attraction and surprise. You cannot be curious and cynic at the same time.
9. sentimentality, leads to feelings of attraction and compassion. Please be reminded, you cannot be sentimental when you are experiencing morbidness.
10. hope, leads to feelings of attraction and expectation. You cannot be hopeful when you are experiencing disbelief.
11. dominance, leads to feelings of attraction and anger. You'll not be able to dominate when you are experiencing shame.
12. awe, leads to feelings of fear and surprise. You cannot be in awe and aggressive at the same time.
13. despair, leads to feelings of fear and compassion. Please be reminded, you cannot experience pride when you are experiencing despair.
14. anxiety, leads to feelings of fear and expectation. You'll not be able to experience outrage in a state of anxiety.
15. shame, leads to feelings of fear and disgust. Please be reminded, you cannot be dominant when you are ashamed. Shame is a painful social emotion resulting from comparison of actions standards. Charles Darwin theorised that shame is expressed by blushing, confusion of mind, downward cast eyes, slack posture, and lowered head. Sometimes, intense shame manifests with low blood pressure and perspiration. Shame can also result in crying. When you experience shame together with guilt, you are likely to feel fear more than disgust or joy.
16. disapproval, leads to feelings of surprise and compassion. Please be reminded, you cannot harbor optimism when you disapprove.
17. disbelief, leads to feelings of surprise and disgust. Please be reminded, you cannot experience hope when you are experiencing disbelief.
18. outrage, leads to feelings of surprise and anger. Please be reminded, you cannot experience outrage when you are experiencing anxiety.
19. remorse, leads to feelings of compassion and disgust. Please be reminded, you cannot experience remorse when you are experiencing love. Remorse is an emotional expression of regret felt when you witness an act that is disgusting. Genuine vs. Falsified expression of emotion — significant difference in facial expressions in real and false remorse. With falsified emotions of remorse, participants experience greater range of emotions — which are close to genuine feelings as well as those associated with positive emotions, such as happiness and surprise. The positive emotions felt by participants demonstrating a deceptive description of remorse are due to the leakage of genuine feelings from incomplete deception. Participants appear surprised because they could only raise their eyebrows when trying to appear sad, which then caused the participants to feel embarrassed, feel genuine happiness, and let a smile slip. In contrast to deceptive and falsified remorse, genuine remorse expressed with fewer emotions. Participants showing deceptive or falsified emotions overcompensated their emotional performance. Genuine remorse is expressed by the lower face. Remorse is not to be confused with guilt — remorse manifests in feelings of disgust and sadness; guilt manifests in feelings of fear and happiness. When there is an indication of guilt, you are experiencing deceptive remorse.
20. envy, leads to feelings of sadness (compassion for self) and anger. Please be reminded, you cannot be jealous when you are experiencing guilt.
21. pessimism, leads to feelings of compassion and expectation. Please be reminded, you will not experience pessimism when you are in a state of delight.
22. contempt, leads to feelings of disgust and anger. Please be reminded, you cannot experience contempt when you are experiencing submission. Contempt is an emotion that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration, a strong feeling of disliking and having no respect for someone or something.
23. cynicism, leads to feelings of disgust and expectation. Please be reminded, you cannot be cynical when you are curious.
24. aggressiveness, leads to feelings of anger and expectation. Please be reminded, you cannot be aggressive when you are in awe.

Eight states of mind – feelings are formed from physical reactions to these twenty-four various emotions 'caused'

_dyzrupt Plan32 has achieved pathbreaking accelerated growth in Government, Global 500 corporations, and startups — optimising capital deployment for where it is needed, and human efficiencies and focus. Strategy is only 1% of work — 99% is Aligning, which requires understanding emotions, to be able to communicate effectively. "You" are the protagonist — unless people look up to your leadership, nobody is listening leave alone getting influenced. It is all about "you".