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Communication Styles at Work

The Pathwayz Group

Creating Pathwayz to Develop Leaders for the Future

发布日期: 2024年9月5日

In 1992, Dr Gary Chapman published his book, The Five Love Languages. The book outlines five different ways people express and receive appreciation, value, and love. The five love languages are gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Every person has a preference that is their preferred "love language." Now, why is this important for teams? Let's say I am a gift giver and shower my team members with gifts, but they prefer words of affirmation. They may say, "Yes, she gave me a company-branded sweater but never tells me she appreciates my work." As a leader, here are a few ways to use the love languages with your team.

For words of affirmation, you may audibly say or write down specific encouragement. Beyond a basic "Well Done," you may say something like, "I appreciate your attention to detail in the last marketing materials; the branded color scheme helped to elevate the professionalism of the entire campaign."

Let's say the person prefers acts of service; you might say, "I see you have a lot on your plate right now with the marketing campaign - is there anything I can do to help?" Offering support or resources can be powerful in speaking acts of service to your team members.

Quality time may sound like inviting someone to join a project or meeting or offer insight…. It might also be scheduling a time for one-on-one coffee or lunch. It's putting time on your calendar to spend time with a person.

Gift-giving is self-explanatory and may manifest in a card or present to show appreciation.

Physical touch can be tricky in a workplace, especially a virtual workplace. Virtual high fives, fist bumps, or even an "I want to give you a pat on the back" comment can go a long way in a professional-appropriate sign of appreciation.

So, how can you tell what your team members' preferred method of appreciation is? Observe how they express appreciation to other team members - if they often give words of affirmation but not gifts - that is likely their preferred method of appreciation. Take note of what they complain about - if they complain about someone not helping out, acts of service may be their preferred love language. Lastly, you can see what they ask for - for example, if someone is asking for help often, perhaps that is their preferred method. With time and intentional observation, you'll better understand and be able to cater your methods of appreciation to your team. So, here's what I want you to do - identify the preferred love language of the people on your team - how can you better speak their language today?