Communication Strategies for Small Conflicts

Conflicts, big or small, are part of everyday life. Whether it’s a stranger cutting in line, a colleague dismissing your ideas, or the decision to speak up or let things go, we all face these moments. As a leader, you have the opportunity to model strategic communication when the moment presents itself.

You can set the example to reinforce the idea that not every conflict requires a dramatic showdown. With a few communication strategies you can show others how to navigate minor tensions effectively while preserving peace.

1. The Backpack Effect: Addressing Unconscious Habits

Some people are blissfully unaware of how their habits inconvenience others. Whether it’s someone loudly talking on their phone in a restaurant or a traveler’s backpack invading your personal space, these small irritations can be frustrating.

Solution: Add Humor to the Mix

If the situation feels impersonal and non-threatening, humor can work wonders. Humor shifts the tone from accusatory to lighthearted, helping the other person become aware of their actions without feeling attacked.

Example: Standing in line at an airport, a man’s backpack kept bumping into me. Instead of getting angry, I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, I think your backpack wants to hang out with me.” He laughed, apologized, and adjusted his bag. Problem solved without an ounce of drama.

2. Line-Cutters and Rude Interruptions: Handling Obvious Offenses

We’ve all been there—a stranger cuts in line or ignores the social norms we rely on to function. Whether intentional or not, these moments can stir frustration. But what’s the best way to address it without escalating the situation?

Solution: Confirm Their Awareness

Politely asking for clarification can work like a charm. Instead of assuming malicious intent, you give the other person a chance to recognize their behavior.

Example: When someone cuts in line, simply say, “Did you realize there’s a line here?” Pause and let them respond. Most of the time, they’ll apologize and move back. Even if they don’t, your calm approach keeps the situation from spiraling.

3. Workplace Dismissiveness: Tackling Discounting Behaviors

In professional settings, subtle forms of disrespect—like eye-rolling or dismissive comments can undermine your confidence and credibility. These “meta-messages” often imply that your input is less valuable or important.

Solution: Check Perceptions Directly

When someone behaves dismissively, address it head-on by describing their behavior and asking for clarity. This approach puts the focus on the action, not the person, and invites an open dialogue.

Example: If a colleague rolls their eyes in a meeting, you could say, “I noticed you rolled your eyes when I spoke. That makes me think you either disagree or find my point irrelevant. Can we discuss it?” A direct but neutral tone can defuse tension and often stops the behavior entirely.

Conclusion: Neither Avoidance nor Aggression is the Answer

Some of us blow up at any sign of conflict. Others of us default to avoiding conflict altogether, thinking it’s the easiest option. But as a leader you must have more tools in your tool box. Recognize that avoidance and aggression almost always cause future problems. Instead of sidestepping the issue or blowing up, these communication strategies, humor, confirming awareness, and checking perception, empower you to address conflicts directly without unnecessary drama.

Marlene Chism is a consultant, speaker, and the author of From Conflict to Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading (Berrett-Koehler 2022). She is a recognized expert on the LinkedIn Global Learning platform. Connect with Chism via LinkedIn, or at MarleneChism.com