Communication is in the Perception

Communication is in the perception. We can only be sure that we have made effective communication when the person to whom we are communicating demonstrates to us that the message has been accurately received and understood. All is well and good. But how can we ensure, or at least increase the likelihood, that the message has been accurately received? By focusing on how a person views and understands the world allows us to appeal directly to their model. This is where representation comes in.

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The Representational Systems (rep systems) refer to how people process the world around them. Four primary systems were identified through the study of neurolinguistic programming (NLP). These four are linked to styles of unconscious communication and ways of learning and processing information. If we know which style our intended recipient favours, we can directly appeal to how they assimilate information. There are two ways of identifying which rep system someone favours. One involves a formal test, which is fine if that is possible. However, where it is not, you can find out through the language people use and how they behave. Obviously, the former is more accurate, but observation is a reasonable alternative where this is not possible. The more you practice, the better you will identify a person’s favoured rep system.

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The four rep systems are Visual (V), Auditor (A), Kinaesthetic (K), and Auditory Digital (AD). Their names explain how they work. Each will favour a visual, audio, kinesthetic, or logical processing route to assimilate information. By listening to the words, they use, and the actions they take, you can identify which rep system they favour. Furthermore, by using the same words and actions, you will connect better, and your message will be communicated in a way that they can better receive it.

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Visually orientated people will often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up. They tend to breathe from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and may organise themselves through what they can see, lists, pictures etc. They memorise information by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. Listen out for the words they tend to use, like see, look, appear, show, draw, reveal, envision, illuminate, clear, foggy, focused, hazy, picture, and crystal. Use these words to relay information and more crucially to check their understanding.

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Auditory people will quite often move their eyes sideways. They will breathe from the middle of their chest. They typically talk to themselves and can be easily distracted by noise. Some move their lips when they talk to themselves. They can repeat things back to you easily, they learn by listening, and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorise by steps, procedures, and sequences (sequentially). Auditory people like to be told how they’re doing and respond to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They will be interested in what you have to say about your program and verbal communication with them is key. Watch out for word like hear, listen, sounds, make music, harmonise, tune in (and tune out), be ‘all ears’, rings a bell, silence, be heard, resonate, deaf, mellifluous, dissonance, unlearning, and question. Again, use these words to relay information and more crucially to check their understanding.

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Kinaesthetic people typically breathe from the bottom of their lungs; you will see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They also stand closer to people than a visual person would like.

They memorise by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in your program if it “feels right” or if you can give them something they can grasp. The words and phrases that you should listen for and use include feel, touch, grasp, ‘get hold of’, ‘slip through’, ‘catch on’, ‘tap into’, ‘make contact’, throw out, turn around, hard, unfeeling, concrete, scrape, solid, get a handle on.

Finally, auditory digital people will spend much time talking to themselves. They will want to know if your program “makes sense”.

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The Auditory Digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems, and they will often be logical and analytical. They may ask lots of questions to seek clarification and understanding. They need to be given more time to allow an explanation of what is being done and why and to ask questions. Their favoured words and phrases to watch out for and use when communicating with them include sense, experience, understand, think, learn, process, decide, motivate, consider, change, perceive, insensitive, distinct, conceive, and know.

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Through keen observation and through careful selection of words, phrases, and behaviours, you will be able to open a very effective channel of communication that appeals directly to the people you need to get your message and information across to. This will result in less time required for communication and better understanding and retention of the information. Added to this is that you will be able to check and be more certain that the message has gotten across and that you have communicated effectively.

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If you would like to know more about communication styles, advanced interviewing techniques or micro-expressions, don't hesitate to get in touch with us at The Mind Palace - hello@themindpalace.co.uk or www.themindpalace.co.uk

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