Communication is Key

Communication skills mean the ability to send messages that are properly and entirely received and understood by the parties. Effective communication is the core of successful mediation and Mediators are the custodian of the communication flow. The mediators not only need to have strong communication skills to understand the dispute and? to connect to the parties but a mediator also need to help the? disputants to engage in a constructive exchange of dialogues. A mediator is required to pay close attention to his/her communication skills as well as the communication dynamics of the parties. The mediators need to reframe what they hear in order to neutralize negativity and personal attacks so that conflict can be worked out productively.

We all know that relationships can be complex and challenging at times. Communication barriers and misunderstandings can lead to tension and conflict, which can take a toll on even the strongest of bonds. EQ is a super power that mediators must have. EQ is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions and the emotions of others. People with strong EQ can navigate the intricate world of relationships with more empathy, compassion, and effective communication. The world would truly be a wonderful, happy place if we all had EQ. There would be fewer failed marriages, toxic relationships, workplace conflicts...and maybe even no more wars!

Unfortunately, being emotionally intelligent is easier said than done. The truth is that we all come from different backgrounds and were raised with different parenting styles, and that all plays a role in how emotionally intelligent we are.

But regardless of all these factors, one thing is for sure – emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness. After all, we can’t change something without first knowing as well as acknowledging what needs to be changed.

When we become more in tune with our emotions and understand where they come from, we can express our needs and manage our emotions better. Instead of responding to situations with our usual knee-jerk screaming or crying reactions, we can pause and think about how we feel and why we’re having those feelings. We can reframe negative thoughts into constructive ones, and believe me, that can make all the difference between giving up and keeping on.

Self-awareness also paves the way for self-love, as we learn to accept and embrace our emotional experiences without judgment. By filling ourselves up first, we can extend that love and understanding to those around us. As we develop our emotional intelligence, our relationships begin to transform. Communication becomes more open, honest, and empathetic. We are able to address issues in a more constructive way and develop stronger connections with our loved ones.

And it’s not just about romantic relationships. The benefits of emotional intelligence extend far beyond that.

Our friendships, family dynamics, professional relationships, and even our relationship with ourselves can flourish as we cultivate self-awareness and self-love.

By now we have a fair understanding what is Mediation, and also, how communication plays a role in this process of dispute resolution. We can safely conclude that Mediation isnbsp;a structured, interactive process where an impartial third party assists disputing parties in resolving conflict through the use of specialized communicationnbsp;and negotiation techniques. A mediator is facilitative in that she/he manages the interaction between parties and facilitates open communication.

Let us see what are the Communication Skills in Mediation

?Effective communication is at the core of successful mediation. This entails active listening and not just hearing what parties say. A mediator’s failure to listen may be fatal.? When you hear, you take in sound.? When you listen, you process the information received.

?Key communication skills in mediation are:

?1.?? ACTIVE LISTENING? – Quieten the mind and then focus on the speaker, Take your time, Maintain eye contact/attentive posture, Acknowledge what is being said/suggested, Acknowledge emotions, Look for non-verbal cues, Empathize, Clarify, Avoid assumptions and Summarize

Benefits of active listening are – Parties feel heard, they repose trust in the mediator and in the process mediator successfully builds a rapport with the parties which in turn helps her/him obtain a clear understanding of the conflict.

?2.?? SUMMARIZING - Allow parties to feel heard, ?Identify underlying emotions/concerns, Focus parties on problem solving,? Encourage parties that progress has been made, Point out different views, Keep track of the deal. While doing this, be concise, choose your words carefully,? leave your judgment out of the summary and be neutral,? Ask if you are correct,

When in doubt, summarize!

?3.?? DEALING WITH EMOTIONS - Conflict and emotion go hand-in-hand.? A mediator needs to deal with the emotions connected to the parties’ dispute.? A failure to recognize and address the emotional underpinning of a problem will often make resolution in mediation impossible.? On the other hand, when parties feel their emotions have been acknowledged they have less need to constantly repeat themselves and can move forward. Acknowledging emotions does not include agreeing with or sympathizing with a party’s emotion, judging a party’s emotions, or taking action to “fix” a party’s feelings.? The mediator should place the emotion of the parties on the table and help parties to deal with them objectively.

?4.?? EFFECTIVE QUESTIONING – helps the mediator in gathering information, clarifying or understanding, refocusing a wandering speaker, stimulating thinking, opening up a position, closing in on a decision.

?5.?? NEUTRALIZING – Parties to mediation often are upset and might use inflammatory language.? A mediator must always control the process in such a way as to refrain parties from using such language.?? Neutralizing involves going around the incendiary words to reach the feelings or interests behind them.

Example

Party:? “She is an untrustworthy liar, and would take advantage of her own mother.”?

Mediator:? “You are concerned with being treated fairly and honestly.”??

The mediator’s neutralizing language allows the parties to move forward to a negotiable issue, such as how each party would like to be treated.

?6.?????????? REFRAMING - Perhaps the most sophisticated and difficult communication skill for a mediator to master is the art of reframing an issue presented to move toward resolution.? Reframing involves taking a statement or a concern, then focusing on specific behaviors or options to be negotiated related to the statement or concern.? Ultimately, reframing allows parties to look at a situation from a different perspective.?

Example

Party:? “We have been at this all day and have not made progress.”?

Mediator:? “What can you do to help us get this done?”

Example

Party:? “I can’t trust her because she tries to steal my clients.”

Mediator:? “How would you like her to deal with your clients?”

?Artful reframing is a wonderful tool for breaking away from the complaints and positions of the parties and moving towards solutions.