Communication is key!

How you communicate is important, you know!

Nobody really knows when we progressed from “ugg ugg” to “I’m hungry”, but fossil and genetic data suggest that we can probably estimate 150,000 to 200,000 years ago when a genetic change in our lineage gave rise to homo sapiens, or when aliens seeded our DNA with intelligence, whichever theory you believe in. Communication is vital in modern society as it is in business and although we are all different in how we carry out this art of breath and vocal cord vibration, there are key areas we can all aspire to improve upon to make day to day interactions more useful, interesting, and productive.

I recently started using the Microsoft Teams speaker coach as default for all my meetings to try and improve how I communicate with my colleagues. And, wow, is it insightful! I have noticed other people using repetitive words or fillers such as “obviously” (when it’s not obvious at all) or “if that makes sense” (when the answer is clearly no). In some social interactions I’ve also noticed people using “like” almost every third word! Also, being a football fan, it’s surprising how many post-match player interviews are peppered with “you know”. This can lead to frustration in those who are listening to you, secretly counting how many times you use the fillers! Imagine my horror, then, when my first report came though after talking for just over 12 minutes in a 30 minute meeting, I used “you know” 14 times! I blame Sky Sports.

Similarly in another meeting I used repetitive language, I’m sure much to the annoyance of my colleagues, by saying “really” and “maybe” a combination of 39 times in 18mins!

As human beings we want to be heard and to communicate, and sometimes in order to give ourselves time to think or to ensure we don’t lose the audience, we like to fill the silence. A period of silence can create anxiety in the speaker or pave the way for someone to switch off. This is where we either look for validation with “you know”, “if that makes sense” or simply try to fill the gaps with “err” or “umm”. It’s quite natural and automatic and you probably don’t even realise, like me, that you are doing it. With the repetitive language I use, it’s a passive way to make a point. Rather than committing to a statement, I’m trying to soften if by using “really” or “maybe”. This might be a good tactic on occasion to prevent coming across as too blunt, or opening the floor to challenge, but using it every 27 seconds is “maybe” overkill? Filler words can also be used to take the stage before you begin to talk or to prevent others from starting a sentence. “Soooo” is used quite often, which brings me onto the next section…

Good communication is a two way interaction, so we must ensure we pause to allow others to process what we are saying, and to respond. A pet peeve of mine is someone asking a question then carrying on talking whilst I’m trying to think about my response to the question, but also trying to listen to the next part of their speech, whilst not forgetting my response! The monologue stat tells you if you paused enough to allow others to speak, thus encouraging a conversation. My result show I’m my own pet peeve, how very selfish of me!

Have you ever heard those extra bits of information at the end of a radio advert where they give you a “typical example” of a loan repayment and they speak so quickly to either bamboozle you into buying the product because you lost the thread at “APR” or because they didn’t want to pay a penny more in advertising fees than they wanted to? They speak FAST! Apparently, so do I! On nearly every speaker coach report since I started using it a month ago it tells me I’m speaking too fast and to slow down to help the audience understand me. We try to cram so much into each minute of each day in our modern lives there’s a danger of replicating that in meetings, rushing our way through the content in the hope everyone picks up all the points we want to make. In reality this is counterproductive as only certain points may be remembered. Plus how exhausting for the audience!

For those old enough to remember Des Lynam’s interview with Gary Linker in 1990 after his infamous “stomach problems” on the pitch vs the Republic of Ireland in the opening game of the World Cup, it was probably the most monotone interview you could possibly listen to. [You Tube link:?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn9kW-d8cgs]

Luckily for Lineker and England, things were a lot more lively and interesting on the pitch that summer! Talking of pitch brings us onto “intonation” where you are encouraged to raise and lower your voice and emphasise certain words to keep everyone interested in what you’re saying. No one wants dreary 1990 Lineker last thing on a Friday afternoon. He must have had some coaching on that because if you skip forward 9 years to his opening lines on his first Match of the Day, it was a completely different experience! [Facebook link:?https://fb.watch/iJQsYvuOw2/]

These days I believe most of us are aware of the correct language to use to make everyone feel inclusive. For example, there have been big debates in the past whether “guys” is an appropriate term to use to an audience of mixed sex, and I still hear it today, in restaurants or bars where there are both men and women in a group. I try to use “folks” or “people” to prevent offending those who are sensitive to this example, and that’s what the inclusiveness part of the report tries to help with. Speaker Coach listens for culturally sensitive phrases in these areas: disability, age, gender, race, sexual orientation, mental health, sensitive geopolitical topics, and profanity.

If you’ve never used Speaker Coach you can turn it on in a Teams meeting using the overflow menu (…) > Language and Speech > Turn on Speaker Coach. You can turn it on by default by looking at the speaker coach results either in the chat from the meeting, or the notification in Teams and flipping the setting. Only you can see this so don’t worry about your areas of improvement being distributed to 100+ people in that Teams meeting. I’m not easily offended, so I’m going to keep using this report to hopefully make progress, and my first and most recent report shows I’m getting better on filler words, but I still need to slow down and be less Italia ’90 Lineker.

1st report

Most recent report