Communication Habits That Build Mutual Respect Within Management

Mutual respect is a foundation that all upper management should share. If you don’t respect one another, don’t expect your staff to respect others, work well in cross-functional teams, and collaborate with their peers.

Of course, people must earn respect. They must share the company vision, have aligned motivation, and be open to listening. That expectation of being worthy of mutual respect comes from the CEO. If you are the CEO and your direct C-suite report insists on communicating only with you; bringing their complaints, ideas, and proposals only to you, stop them and ask, “Have you talked with so-and-so (so-and-so being a C-suite colleague that is either part of their beef, or one that would be impacted by their idea) about it? Why don’t you discuss it with them? If you both feel it needs more input, then bring it to me and the team in our next meeting.” Encourage them to work on solutions together. The likelihood is greater that they’ll arrive at a better solution and come to the meeting with proposed ideas as a united front. Of course, that requires an expectation that they’ll be mature and trusting in their interaction. It will require openness to compromise and mutual understanding, built over time. However, if the CEO doesn’t set the expectation, it is less likely to happen.

People tend to seek comfort in their echo chambers where people already understand them and tend to agree with them. If not encouraged to communicate directly with colleagues in other functional areas, the technical experts will bolster each other and the finance and business experts will do the same opening the door for misunderstanding and sometimes suspicion or worse case, disrespect between functional areas. It is another reason to require that upper management from all functions talk to one another one-on-one, especially when there is a difference of opinion. For example, the CFO is concerned about cash flow, while the CTO, CSO, and CMO are concerned with creating tangible output with the poor COO in the middle. All functional objectives must go hand in hand as they are really part of a single shared company objective. Therefore, pushing for an across-the-board personnel reduction in a pinch can be as short-cited as one that allows R&D to take on undisciplined growth when the coffers are full. Balanced, deliberate strategic execution is enabled by the mutual understanding of one another’s key contributions to the company objectives, all significant. If they aren’t, why are they there?

So how do you build a culture of mutual respect rooted in the C-suite? It starts with how we communicate with one another. When you are presenting your case to upper management, the audience that you want to win over is everyone in the room, not just the CEO.

Never assume or suspect someone’s motivation or reason behind their proposal. Uncover their thought process by asking the right questions in an inclusive, non-argumentative manner. Let's suppose that Fred Finance is projecting that the current burn rate will not allow additional hires until a critical milestone is met. He suggests a hiring freeze. Yet Sue Systems, in charge of achieving that milestone, feels she needs more people in her X Department to meet the deadline. It is a tricky situation.

Are there expenses elsewhere that can be trimmed to give Sue another person or two? Can money be found elsewhere rather than waiting for the milestone payment - seemingly a Catch-22 to Sue? Does Sue need more people or better-performing people? Is there something that could help team performance without adding to headcount? Is there some way to ease the work burden on Department X that doesn’t require additional personnel? Are there individuals in other technical areas that could pitch in temporarily or be transferred? All this and more are better worked out together.

Don’t wait for a crisis and then complain that “they” just don’t understand. Instead, make every effort to educate your colleagues on an ongoing basis. Get them intellectually involved, at least to the extent that they can better appreciate what your team is doing and what they are up against.

Are they listening when you speak? Is your mode of communication crisis-laden, defensive, argumentative, or boastful? Ask a colleague you already trust to give you feedback. Then try to change your mindset to one of achieving mutual understanding. Try to build some rapport with resistant individuals outside of meetings so that both of you will be less defensive or dismissive. Understanding someone more will lead to greater cooperation and more trusted suggestions on how to help the team when you need their input. Sue doesn’t want to hear what she’ll perceive as a condescending suggestion by a clueless colleague. It doesn’t help Fred to be perceived as a heartless bean counter that lacks creativity or doesn’t appreciate the intricacies of the company’s goals.

Don’t just write reports to showcase your team’s expertise and all the hard work they’ve done. You want everyone to appreciate the information. Help them understand by highlighting key features of your data and information. Include preambles and bottom-line summaries in your reporting. Describe your work in the context of the shared long-term company objective.

Each interaction is a chance to explain the basis of your position, which will be very helpful when you must weigh in on something that affects not only your function but other’s as well. For example, you can use phrases like:

”And this is why…”

“This is what it means for us…”,

“This is why I am concerned...” and so on.

Seize every opportunity to inform and be informed. Consider it an investment for the future.

If you feel an issue brewing, like the Fred and Sue situation, don’t wait for formal meetings to interact. The earlier Fred and Sue start talking together about the upcoming pinch point, the more likely it will be that they’ll come to the CEO and the executive committee with a few solutions they can both get behind. It will also build cross-functional rapport.

Create a culture where asking questions is expected. Healthy debate can be fun and intellectually stimulating for everyone if approached with the right intent by well-meaning colleagues you trust.