Communication Errors: How Not to Climb Out of a Hole

We speak overly emotionally at times. We’re human, that’s what we do. That’s not always beneficial however. Therefore, how we respond to our initial miscommunication that is not factually aligned with events is an important skill to develop, practice and master, especially for public figures.

In a story reported at PRSay (by J.W. Arnold), Fort Lauderdale Mayor Dean Trantalis was emotionally shaken after a vehicle crashed into marchers in the Stonewall Pride parade in Wilton Manners, Fla., killing a 75-year-old man and critically injuring another person. The truck came also close to hitting Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and several local elected officials.

Trantalis, a witness to the traumatic event, was understandably upset. In communicating about the experience and shock, he made the mistake of communicating based on perception from heuristics (mental shortcuts), boldly claiming to the media on location that there had just been a “terrorist attack” on the LGBTQ+ community.

Seemed plausible, right? Yet what if what it looked like wasn’t actually what happened?

Stay with me for a moment if you will.

“After an investigation by the local police and FBI, the accident was determined the following day to be just that — a tragic accident. The 77-year-old driver of the truck, also a member of the chorus, got his foot stuck between the accelerator and brake pedals sending the vehicle through the crowd and across two lanes of traffic,” Arnold writes.

An accident. A vehicle driven by another gay human being. Not a “terrorist attack.”

Fear and anger often can drive communication and behavior in a direction that doesn’t represent us in the best light.

Trantalis reportedly eventually apologized. After such an error, he had to do so. It was expected. Yet the quality of his apology was criticized, some even labeling it a “non-apology.”

Why so? Let’s take a fly-over look.

“It terrorized me and all around me…I feared it could be intentional based on what I saw from mere feet away,” he tweeted on Twitter. “As the facts continue to be pieced together, a picture is emerging of an accident in which a truck careened out of control. I regret the fact that I said it was a terrorist attack because we found out that it was not.’

Those last sentences, factual. That’s a positive, as they were honest, bold and direct. His first statements about his experience and emotions are real and human. Nothing wrong with those. Considering how we as humans often respond to danger, what Trantalis said was reasonable.

Where he was seen by critics as doubling down was the unwise choice to let stress, ego and defensiveness enter his communication.

“But I don’t regret my feelings. I don’t regret that I felt terrorized by someone who plowed through the crowd,” he continued.

Stop. This justification of a false claim is not healthy leadership or the best show of character. The reality was that the person who “plowed through the crowd,” was also gay, not a “terrorist.” They were also elderly and in this case, erred in their driving. That’s all it was.

By defending what he said, Trantalis is in a sense excusing his false labeling of what happened. To admit that he was in error, clearly is too difficult for his ego to confess. He’s embarrassed (understandable) yet people are often forgiving when we humbly, fully, sincerely apologize and own what we did “wrong.”

Trantalis clearly felt attacked by critics yet he could have, should have exhibited humility and realize his false labeling of what transpired needed to be corrected, especially considering the hot button issue it is in society. One cannot falsely disperse blame and then rationalize it. Better instead to correct the record, own what we did, show humility and apologize sincerely and learn from the experience.

That gets respected much more than stressed, ego-driven defensiveness.

Michael Toebe is the founder and specialist at Reputation Quality, a consultancy, advisory, coaching and communications practice, serving individuals and organizations, helping them better analyze opportunities, challenges and risks, to further build, protect, restore and reconstruct reputation quality.

This article was first published at Reputation Specialist Michael Toebe, on July 5th, 2021.