Communication: Becoming an effective listener - guidance from a Change Manager

Preface

The four components of communication in any context are: listening, speaking, reading, and writing; and, in many instances, in that order. Listening is undoubtedly the most important component of communication. There are many scenarios where a successful negotiation fails to occur simply because the parties involved in the act of communication fails miserably as listeners.

What to do

Strange it may sound, but there are many people who are not good at listening, and in most cases they do not even realise that. That begs the question: do we need training to be good listeners? I choose to keep it simple: instead of a training I would rather suggest a template – a few bullet points – for everyone to use so they can become effective listeners.

Before the meeting

Prepare well ahead. In a work context, you engage in the act of listening for a reason: to get something done. Noting down the key points is always helpful. Always make sure to keep a notepad / notebook and pen ready.

During the meeting

Connect with the speaker: Show courtesy. Make an eye contact, smile and greet them. It is a good idea to let them know that from time to time, you might take notes. That will help build the rapport. Once there is rapport, communication becomes easier.

Close internal dialogues: It is very important to close your internal dialogues. Be present at the moment and focus on the person in front of them. You can perfect this with practice.

Focus: Notice the body language, posture and breathing pattern of the person speaking to you. Take notes where relevant. One of the effective ways to focus is listening with an open mind, i.e. don’t judge the person speaking. You might not agree with his / her points, but it is very important that you do not judge him / her while he / she is making the points; keep the environment ‘safe’ for the speaker.

Interrupt politely (if you have to): It is one thing to stay active in the process of listening and another thing to interrupt the speaker. If you have to interrupt, raise a hand. That way you are being respectful to the speaker and the speaker will also not lose his / her train of thoughts.

Sum up: This may not apply in some circumstances. However, if you are part of a face to face conversation with someone, then you can sum up the main points from your notes and get these validated. A nice wording to use can be, ‘I want to ensure I have understood you clearly, so let me read these points back to you, and please feel free to correct me, if you feel necessary.’

After the meeting

Follow up: Follow up with an email or a Teams chat about the progress or with an update in relation to what you discussed. This follow up is not ‘listening’, but will convince the person you interacted with you that you were a very effective listener and therefore you cared to take notes and implement some actions. This will help you build rapport and in all workplaces it is always helpful to have rapport with people.