Communicating with Introverts

In 2017, our company conducted a communication survey to learn about the preferred vehicles introverted leaders like to use for communication. The results, based on responses from 40 introverted leaders across different industries and job functions, were intriguing. It clearly indicated that matching the communication method with the type of information being delivered increases the likelihood that people will get the message. For example, respondents found email to be the most effective for delivering data, setting appointments, and dispensing other routine information, while texting was best for getting quick answers, on-the-spot logistical planning, and for check-ins. Let’s look at the value introverts find in each of the following communication methods: email, text, telephone, face-to-face/ video conferencing, and intranet programs.

Email

Email was by far the favored mode of communication for the introverted leaders responding to our survey. As one leader commented, “It cuts down on the need for conversations that could lead to chitchat.” Other respondents appreciated that email gave them the time to think about what they want to communicate without being put on the spot. They even said email helped them to be better communicators:

Texting

As with email, texting allows introverts to take the time they need to send the clearest message possible. One communication survey respondent said, “Texting is my greatest ally. It allows me to respond quickly and intelligently. The ability to edit before hitting send also reduces my risk of misused words, something that happens often on the phone and creates enormous amounts of frustration and miscommunication.”

Respondents also found group texting “conversations” were a time-efficient way to gather different viewpoints.

Telephone

I know many introverts who HATE the phone. There was one staff member at my publishing company who refused to talk on the phone EVER. One day I caught him unawares (I think he thought it was his child calling) and we had a good laugh about the lengths he goes to avoid the phone.

The truth is that calls can be useful when reinforcing or explaining email or text communications. Telephone conversations are also good for developing more personal connections and building credibility. Your voice and tone become part of the medium.

I once received a voicemail from an introverted sales member of our team, requesting that I call him. During our phone conversation, he explained a sensitive client situation that I could easily have misunderstood if he had tried to describe it in an email. Because of his wise choice of communication methods, my opinion of him and his competency rose.

Another introverted member of my team dreads calling people. But even she realizes that she can’t totally avoid the phone. The goal here should be to put people like her at ease by making calls less painful. Some tried-and-true advice from introverts is to set up calls in advance (no surprise calls—don’t do what I did to my publishing colleague!) and to create an agenda for the call with questions and talking points. This keeps the conversation in expected territory and focused on the topics the introvert has already prepared for.

Face-to-Face Communication

Delivering important news, launching a project, praising people, or working out issues and problems are best handled with an in-person conversation. Nevertheless, face to face was the least favorite form of communication cited by introverted leaders in our communication survey.

As with phone calls, you can lower the discomfort level of in-person meetings by putting them on the calendar (no barging into someone’s office or cubicle without warning!) and going over the parameters of the meeting beforehand. Our research also revealed that some introverts see video calls as less threatening than live conversations—but only when everyone is playing by the same ground rules. Either everyone is on video or no one. It is unfair to those who are visible if some of the group is not on camera and are tempted to multi-task.

A colleague of mine, an introverted business leader and founder of several software companies, keeps his calendar open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He believes it’s a lot easier to transmit energy face-to-face than to transmit it electronically.

“As an introvert, it’s a temptation to sit in front of this computer all day. But if that’s literally all I do; it’s sucking energy out of the room… At the last minute, I can just grab a few people I haven’t seen in a while. Sometimes we have an agenda, but mostly it’s just socializing. Without that human connection, it goes flat.”

Interestingly—and I think positively—there seems to be a shift toward more face-to-face communication in younger generations. Generations expert Ryan Jenkins reports that over 70% of the Generation Z workforce (those in their 20s) want face-to-face or video conversations. Some believe that this Generation Z trend is a backlash to the very Millennial habit of constant digital, asynchronous communication.

Intranet Programs

There has been a new explosion of company intranet programs that aim to make communication both more personal and efficient. Intranet software firm, Jostle claims that by providing each employee with a profile that provides their basic information (title, location, picture, etc.) company intranets make it simple to reach out and connect with anyone in the organization.

“Many intranets come with feeds for real-time updates and announcements as well as built-in or optional recognition and reward systems. They celebrate diversity in this way,” the company’s blog reads.

Some organizations like Charity Water have turned away from email entirely and rely solely on their intranet program for digital communications (in their case, Slack). My introverted clients find intranets help to connect them to the larger workforce without their having to constantly engage in live conversations, which can throw them off track. Here, the personal touch is important to foster strong connections and relationships and so that the tool doesn’t feel like just one more faceless form of digital communication. In that vein, one of our 2019 Workplace Survey respondents made a simple request that doesn’t seem too hard to comply with: “I wish people used their pictures (or at least something personal) in their Slack profile photo. It's disconcerting interacting with a plaid checkerboard.”

Flex and Flow

Communication is a process, and each party has a responsibility to manage their part. When you are dealing with people who have different communication preferences than you, it is important to take their styles into consideration and, whenever you can, flexing to their preferences will facilitate the ease of communication.

Every communication has a sender and a receiver. If you are in the sender role and your receiver is feeling barraged by too many emails from you, perhaps you can reach out and suggest a more efficient way to connect. The alternative is for your receiver to be frustrated and possibly shut down the line of communication. How about if your preferred way is to email but you know your young introverted colleague prefers texting? Being flexible and occasionally texting instead of emailing will go far in keeping your channels of communication open and deepening your trust and connection.

Generations expert Ryan Jenkins believes that guidelines should be established to relieve the stress around communication. For example, rules for not bombarding employees with various on-the-spot communications each day (phone call, text, surprise office visit, etc.) will play to the deep-dive processing that introverts relish. He suggests that companies identify an emergency channel when they absolutely need certain information—perhaps via intranet or text. The major takeaway? Streamline the communication.

Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D., Certified Speaking Professional, is one of the top global leadership speakers. She helps organizations harness the power of introverts. Jennifer is the author of The Introverted Leader, The Genius of Opposites and Quiet Influence which have been translated into 17 languages. Reach out to Jennifer on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.