Communicating with Confidence

In my last article, I introduced Professional Presence and how it contributes to career and life success.

Our presence includes our words, actions, and behaviors; it is about how we present ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Some of you may be saying, “It doesn’t matter. I am going to do me. Take me as I am, or don’t take me at all.” But do we really mean that? Even if we declare that we do not care what other people think, on a deep level, I believe we do.

Let me explain it another way. If you decide that you are going to wear blue jeans when you have been invited to a formal wedding, then you are deciding to defy and disregard the wishes of the betrothed.  If you decide to slump down in a chair and look at the floor during a job interview, you are likely to be perceived as disrespectful, unconcerned, or ill-prepared. In either case, you have spoken volumes without uttering a word.

When it comes to our verbal communication skills, we must be just as mindful and meticulous in our speech as we are with our physical presentation. When I say verbal communication skills, I am talking about more than mere words. I’m talking about the numerous elements that contribute to engaging, meaningful and stimulating conversation. 

Our verbal communication style--what we say and how we say it—is just as important to our professional presence as is our personal care and grooming, our attire, and physical posture.   

Picture this. You have just entered a room, you are dressed impeccably, and you walk with perfect poise and grace—you exude confidence. But wait, you are not smiling. You are not even looking pleasant. In fact, your facial expression and body language emits a vibe that says stand-offish and unapproachable. You will get what you put out.

Let’s take the same scenario, but this time you walk into the room with a smile on your face.  Your body language says you are open and approachable. Nice job! Then you notice someone coming your way, and suddenly you freeze on the spot. You become dry-mouthed and at a loss for words. You cannot seem to utter a greeting. When you manage to eke out a few words you stutter and stammer. The opportunity to engage in conversation quickly passes, and you find yourself searching for the nearest wall.

You can relegate yourself to being a wallflower, or you can make an investment in developing your interpersonal skills, your ability to communicate with poise and confidence.  

Leading personal development guru Robin Sharma says, “The swiftest way to triple your success is to double your investment in personal development.” 

People invest thousands of dollars annually on personal development. Do a quick Google search and you will find an abundance of books and articles, conferences, and coaching sessions on how you can improve your interpersonal skills for personal growth and professional success. One of the reasons why this field is so lucrative is because human beings are social

People have an innate desire to communicate; to connect with other humans. 

 Beings. We have in innate desire to connect. That desire to connect brings us love, joy and a sense of belonging. It is the very reason why humans continue to exist.

The better prepared we become, the more confident we become. Being better prepared in our communication skills is no exception.  Start making the investment today. I have included 5 tips to help you get started.  

Communicate with Confidence – Ms. J’s Five Top Tips

1.      Prepare. Find out about the occasion or event. Who is going to be there? What is it about? What is the attire? Where is the venue? This information will help you to be calm and relaxed upon arrival.

2.      Practice introducing you to yourself. Look in the mirror, smile, say hello, say your name. Extend your hand for a shake…or not. A slight nod will do.

3.      Read, watch, and listen to current events. Find out what is going on in the world and be prepared to talk a little about a lot of subjects. Steer clear or controversial topics…politics. Need I say more?

4.      Just because someone else is cursing, swearing, and making lude or crude remarks…don’t do it. If you are not going to intervene to stop them, move away quickly.

5.      Keep in mind that conversation is a dialogue. Talk and listen. Listen and respond appropriately.

6.      Don’t forget these common courtesies.

a.      Thank them for their time, the conversation, the information, etc.

b.      Let them know that you enjoyed the conversation.

c.       Be prepared to keep the communication going. Business cards are still being printed. Always have a few on hand.