Communicate with meaning

Do you ever feel like some people are on a different wave length to you, that they don't speak your language, and you just can't seem to be able to reach them no matter how well you think you are expressing yourself!!

We all know that we communicate differently and we've all heard of seeing the world through your own colour glasses. As children we take in the world through our 5 senses and as we get older we develop our own communication or learning style. In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) these styles are known as Representational Systems (Rep Systems). NLP teaches us that that there are 4 main Rep Systems, these being - Visual (sight), Auditory (sound), Kinesthetic (touch) and Internal Dialogue.

The first three of these rep systems are the more natural ways to communicate and process information and are hardwired. Internal Dialogue (ID) is a more learnt style of processing information. Whilst people use all four systems, there is usually one lead rep system that takes preference over the others.

By way of a crash course, here is a very quick summary:

Visual - construct mental images and process information mainly by seeing it. Visual people like to use charts, graphs, power points and colour coded systems for organising their day to day. They use visual language to help you 'see' their point of view.

Auditory - filter information through first what they can hear. They can recall things said to them and can learn through listening! Tone and pitch of your voice is very important to an auditory person as it can tell them how you feel. They use hearing type words, like can you 'hear' me and that 'sounds' good.

Kinesthetic - process information by the experience and the emotion of the experience. Kinsethetic people are 'feeling' people and in order to effectively learn, they need to do and experience the learning. They use words like 'depth', 'sense' and 'gut instinct'.

Internal Dialogue - understand information by following a process and assessing supporting evidence and seeking more information! ID people process information mainly by having an internal conversation about what they are taking in. They prefer the use of evidence and statistics and are very interested in the facts and figures. They use words like I 'understand' and 'process' and 'think'.

Why is knowing this stuff important? Well, when communicating with clients or staff wouldn't knowing how they process information be a bit handy?! Being aware of your own lead system and the characteristics that are associated with it, can help you understand how you construct your mental maps of the world and how you then communicate that back to the world. There are also different verbal and non verbal behaviours present in each rep system. By being able to detect and understand and cater for other people's rep system, you are more equipped to build and maintain rapport easily, be more influential and effective with your communication and build strong relationships.

My work coaching lawyers has highlighed to me that lawyers are very much trained to become ID and the majority have developed ID as their lead Rep System. I'm guessing it's easy to understand how and why!!

By becoming more aware of how you make sense of the world and learning more about the other rep systems and how you can better connect with them, you can really improve relationships with colleagues, staff and clients.