Communicate..... But do it Effectively!!
One thing I have learned so far in my career is that COMMUNICATION is everything. Your success in personal life and office depends on your effectiveness in the art of communications.
Here are few things, I have picked up in the last decade on the art of communications:
- Listen Actively
Look at the person speaking. Control any distractions. At the end of any message that contains more than two or three points (steps, ideas, phases, etc.), summarize by saying something like this:“Let me make sure I understand what you’ve just told me. I believe you made three key points, namely .... Have I missed anything?” - Use illustrations
There are thousands of anecdotes, historic situations, proverbs, parables, and analogies you can cite to make a point or to confirm understanding of a point someone else has made.
Such illustrations help both parties to visualize a point and remember it. - Confirm attention
When you start talking, the other person’s mind is usually on other matters. His or her priorities and needs are probably different from yours.
Begin by stating your purpose (topic, need, objective) and asking for a specific amount of time. Example:“I need to get your views on .... Have you got ten minutes now, or should I come back?” - Plan the interaction
You have a purpose, information to give, information to get, an appropriate sequence (game plan, strategy) for combining the give and get, and a desired reaction that will tell you whether you have or haven’t achieved your purpose.
Take time to plan each of these steps in advance.
Load your brain before firing your mouth ! - Cancel lost causes
If the person you’re talking to about something important is distracted (e.g., taking phone calls, reading something, or simply preoccupied with another matter), cancel the interaction:“I can see that you’re busy. When would be a good time for me to come back?”This should get the person’s attention, either immediately or when you come back. - Give prior notice
When possible, let the other person know in advance that you’d like ten minutes “to discuss the Wykoff project.”
Set the time. Even if the person says, “Right now is okay”.
It’s sometimes better to say that now is not good for you.
This gives the other person time to think about the issue and to take it seriously when you come back to discuss it. - Select time and place
Should you meet in your office (workplace, location) or a conference room or a corner of the cafeteria?
Morning, afternoon, or end of the workday?
Depending on your purpose, the other person’s availability and comfort level, and the physical layout, you should plan when and where you are most likely to achieve your objective. - Anticipate the “What if ....” Forewarned is forearmed
Plan for the different directions your interaction could take—the questions, suggestions, objections, and digressions that might come up.
You might even want to rehearse (role play with yourself) or to write out a script of the ideal interaction as a way of being better prepared for different reactions. - Maintain aim
Stay on target. It’s easy for either person to digress or bring up information that is not relevant to the purpose of the communication.
By steering your comments and questions toward your objective, you will be able to meet your aim and accomplish your objective. - Control bias
At times you want to influence (bias) the other person’s thoughts and actions (e.g.,when selling,teaching,persuading).
At other times,you want unbiased opinions and feelings, in which case you must work hard to use unstructured questions and to avoid showing your own opinions and feelings. - Set a positive climate
Some situations are difficult to handle: a reprimand, a denial, a termination.
However challenging the communication, keep it rational and not emotional, adult to adult and not parent to child, win–win and not win–lose, so that both parties see the action as necessary and fair. - Interact, don’t dominate
Your communications are generally effective to the degree to which the other party was participating and not merely listening.
Keep the other person involved with questions and requests for information. The more interactive your dialogue, the more successful you are likely to be. - Use the Funnel Technique
When eliciting facts and feelings, start with broad (open-ended, non-directive) questions, such as, “Why is Team B lagging behind the others?” and move down the funnel into more structured, directive questions, such as,“Have their two new members reached full productivity yet?” and, “Is there a morale problem?” - Separate replies from responses
Unless they are deaf, people will usually reply to your questions.
But the reply may not be the response you were looking for (the person didn’t understand, is being cautious, or has other things in mind).
Be ready to rephrase your question to get a response after getting a reply. - Keep your words short
Studies have shown that when we write or speak,we are much more likely to be understood and remembered if we keep our words short,with a least 65 percent of them kept to one syllable.
Bear this in mind as you talk or write.
(This paragraph has 88 percent one-syllable words. So if you fear that you will sound like a small child, think again!) - Allow time to digest
Pauses are welcome.
Give your listener time to absorb and to anticipate with comments like, “Think for a moment of three or four obvious benefits of the new system.”
Then, after a brief pause, outline them.
Listeners are much more attentive when given time to think for themselves. When writing,keep your paragraphs short.
White space gives reader time to digest and helps to avoid information overload. - Use vocal dynamics
When you speak, vary your rate, pitch, and volume.
Slow down to make a key point.
Speed up on anecdotal or supportive material.
Change your volume to emphasize an idea.
Use humor when it comes naturally and offends no one.
Use accents when relating dialogue,because this helps your listener keep two or more characters separate.
If you don’t vary your delivery, people may “burn out” or “tune out.” - Signal for turns
A driver’s hand signals help avoid accidents.
Words like however,moreover,in contrast,for instance,and,but,or are signals that help your listeners know where you’re going.
Sometimes a phrase or sentence is needed: “Now let me cite three reasons why...” or, “The flip side is equally compelling.
Let me explain ....” A writer uses paragraphs, chapter titles, and subtitles to alert readers.
A good speaker will do the same for listeners. - Use probes
When others speak to you, they may stop short of telling you the full story. Several useful probe techniques will keep them going.
Example: In an employment interview, you ask why the applicant left his last job and he replies with, “I felt I wasn’t getting anywhere.”
You need to know what this means,so you might use:
the echo probe: “Not getting anywhere?”
the neutral probe: “That’s interesting. Tell me more”
the silence probe: "You say nothing, look at him, and wait" - Confirm their understanding
When you want to know if another person understands after you’ve taken 5 to 10 minutes to relate something, ask the person to summarize.
Avoid the parent-to-child command: “Now tell me what I just said.”
Instead, keep it adult to adult: “I’ve been doing a lot of rambling and don’t know if I’ve made sense or covered everything.
It might be helpful to both of us if you could take a minute to summarize what you just heard.” - Use questions deductively
When you’re instructing someone, you can either deliver the information or ask questions that will lead your listeners to deduce the correct procedure (concept, reasons, etc.).
The use of questions is usually more effective.
The other person is more willing to participate, you’re building on that person’s level of understanding rather than yours, and your listener’s comprehension and retention will be greater. - Apply the Layer Method
Professional writers and speakers bring their messages to life by alternating between abstract and concrete, between a concept and its application, between rule and example, between things and people.
In short, they create layers of human interest in a message that might otherwise be dry or technical.
If the first paragraph describes a new policy or procedure,the next paragraph shows how Marge Smith in accounting is affected.
The third paragraph describes another aspect of the new policy or procedure, and the fourth paragraph illustrates how our customers are benefiting from it. - Avoid sex bias
Your references to groups of people should show no preferences for male or female pronouns. It is no longer acceptable to say, “Each employee should check with his supervisor”or,“The customer knows that he can always get his money back.”
The easiest way to avoid sex bias is to put your references in the plural:employees and customers require the plural, unisex pronouns their, they, them. - Test your assumptions
When your ability to influence the other person depends heavily on the accuracy of your assumptions, test them.
Example: “With all the recent talk about quality improvement, I’m guessing that you’ve heard this tune before during your many years with the company, and you might be thinking that this is nothing new. How about it?” - Answer the “WIIFM?”
“What’s in it for me?”
This is what other people are thinking as you deliver your message.
Your ability to answer this question to their satisfaction will lead them to accept or to be cautious and reserved, or possibly even to reject.
You need to draw on your empathy, putting yourself in their shoes, addressing their needs and concerns, as early in the communication as possible.
The contributor is Director of Hardware Engineering at Powersoft19.
Powersoft19 (www.powersoft19.com) specializes in engineering consultancy of hardware, firmware, software, web-applications and interactive media development along with automated testing and independent quality assurance as a service. Powersoft19 has delivered multiple safety-critical embedded systems in several industries comprising Rail, Material Handling, Mining, Gas Detection and Smart Grid.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any team, division or business unit, subsidiaries and technology partners of the Powersoft19.