The “Communicate with anyone” & "Superpower" Lies

For more than a few of years there has been a meme, propaganda and outright falsehood pushed by authors, publishers, speakers, and others that position themselves as communication experts. This claim is that anyone can communicate with anyone else if you just do it the right way/their way (with the right “tools”). There is a new book out on communication whose write-up (on Amazon and Barnes&Noble) commits this offense (and at least one more).?

Let’s look at the definition for communication. According to Merriam-Webster it’s a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior. For simplicity’s sake, we can distill this a little further to communication being the exchange of information between two or more parties. Yes, there are other entries under communication, but this is the one that matters for this conversation.

Exchange is the key word. This implies information sent and received in some format. We’re talking about the capabilities of the parties involved. We also need to keep in mind why people communicate. It’s to achieve some desired outcome. If you need someone to dial 911 because you’re having a heart attack but you can only convince that person a cat goes “meow” your communication has failed with potentially tragic consequences.

No, you cannot communicate with anyone using the “right tools” or solely determined by how well you create and execute your communication. Communication can and often fails.? Such as in these four failure scenarios...

1. At least one of the parties lacks the mental faculties to communicate (send/receive/process). They may be ill with some form of brain disease, developmental issue or some other impairment. This is the cruelest reason why communication can fail. It is sad and not to be made light of - but it can a reason communication fails. No matter how badly you want it to work.
2. There is no common system of information exchange. This could be a language, drawings, gestures, and so on. If there is no common basis for exchanging information, there is no communication. Take the example of two people are locked in separate windowless cells where they can hear each other but no ability use any other sense. If they speak two languages with no common factors (such as both being Latin or Germanic in origin) nothing is going to be communicated between them.
3. No will to communicate between the parties. In today’s highly polarized political environment, far too people can barely look at someone on the opposite end of a political spectrum, must less have any kind of meaningful communication between them. There has been a recent trend in adult children cutting off relationships with their parents over? disagreements that political, religious, and lifestyle in nature. No discussion, no “let’s not talk about it”. Abandonment of such a relationship is just sad.?And it kills communication.
4. Cowardice. People retreat inside their echo chambers and only entertain communication that supports (without dissent) what they believe (true or not). They lack maturity and courage to have their ideas and beliefs tested by considering facts, ideas, and suggestions which run contrary to what they cling to as what is “right”. They refuse to consider they could be wrong and will not even Google challenging ideas/concepts in the privacy of their own home. Ditch these people. Unless and until they grow, they are pretty useless except for the most mundane tasks or as sacrificial lambs.

The second offense is when some idiot uses the term “superpower”. Some might think calling someone an idiot is harsh, but don’t feel sorry for a person who says they have a non-supernatural skill as a superpower. Such as communication skills.

If you know someone that has a superpower, tell them to fly on over to me and I’ll apologize to them.? I’d like to meet that person. Otherwise, anyone that claims a superpower probably lacks a connection to reality and/or understanding definitions of words.

Being good at communication is a skill that can be improved upon by any person with reasonable mental capacity AND the will to learn, practice, and apply the subject matter. Some people have a higher degree of natural ability at communication (just like some people run faster or are better at math). That’s not a superpower. It’s many other things, but not a superpower.

Why do people say things such as “communication is a superpower” or “With the right tools, we can connect with anyone.”? I don’t know what their motivation is for making these claims. Perhaps they have good intentions. This does not make these claims true. Or these people experts.

When people misapply terms or use absolutes, this is at best ignorance or laziness and at worst someone who is maliciously trying to manipulate you for their own benefit. Be careful using “every”, “absolutely”, “any” (such as anyone) and so on. By their definition, they do not permit deviation from their usage. “Most”, “many”, and “often” perform much better in terms of logic, reason, and reality. These can also help you look more intelligent and keep your job.

Why should you …. No! Why MUST you be aware of these misrepresentations? Because communication cannot work without mutually agreed upon concepts (such as definitions) and acceptance of what constitutes our real and physical world.

Original post and more communication goodness below.