Of Common Sense and Good Faith

Disagreement is a nature of the human condition. Our nature is such that we perceive things differently based on our experiences in life. We learn to either to work within our group or cohort, or we risk being ostracized, shunned or becoming a pariah. Those that wish to proceed and get things done learn to work as a team, while those that can not work well with others become bullies, narcissists or sociopaths. Civility is a key to success as it breeds emotional intelligence. I would argue that this single quality will drive a leader to greater success, more so than sheer intellect alone.

While we may disagree on things, we should not forget the one driving principle of the human condition: we are all human beings. Whether you like it or not, you share this planet with other human beings. They do not all act, feel, look or think as you do. That is reality, and something that we must accept. It isn't a choice, it is instead the truth. It prevents us from being boring and provides us with many lessons. 

Given that this is reality (and honestly, you have to be able to accept that if you want to accomplish anything), what can you do to improve upon that fact? That is the question you should be asking yourself every day. How can this day end in a manner that improves the lives of not just yourself, but those you interact with every day? If you do ask yourself this question, you will find out what it means to be engaged. That ability to deliver empathy in your everyday life and livelihood will enable you to broaden your perspective and knowledge beyond a limited scope of self-awareness.

It is not my argument that we should not practice self-care, but rather that the pursuit of happiness begins and ends with our ability to work toward the common good. If you are not thinking of ways to improve the lives of your fellow human beings and instead focus on your own navel, you've missed the joys of life and the people and challenges presented to you each and every day. 

Every day is a lesson and an opportunity. You will be presented with many challenges. You will have obstacles placed in your way. You will experience distractions, frustration and upsets. These are not problems, but rather opportunities. Each one should be considered an opportunity to broaden your horizons and overcome a difficulty. If you can handle it with charm, grace and wit, you will succeed. You may never achieve 100% of your goal, but life is a journey, not a destination. Everything that is presented is another opportunity to learn and grow.

For that reason, I want to know people who do think differently. I want to be able to discuss ideas and disagree without resorting to ad hominem, vilification and vitriol. Civility should be the norm, not the exception. Others who wish to be able to hold civil discourse without such diatribe must exist. It is my hope that we can create a civil society by simply practicing civil self-respect. 

Civil self-respect to me means that we must believe in the rights of others to freedom, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It also means that those rights do not extend to allow harm to others. My rights to my beliefs and system of values do not extend to forcing anyone else to endure harm for my freedoms. That should be the pact we can all agree on, for those who wish harm to others are acting out of a system of beliefs we would associate to narcissism, psychopathy or sociopathy. None of those patterns are acceptable within a civil society.

My genuine and sincere hope is that there are people who understand that society is not truly broken. It is only the lack of common sense that drives others to seek to corrupt society when they seek to divide us into camps of 'us versus them' and see each other as villains. We generally are not, though some do exist (or else there would be no grand bargain of the laws of the governed).

That is not how the world truly works. A civil society gets on with life and works toward the good of all of its citizens, because we work best when we work as a team. There is no society that has ever succeeded when it divides itself for the interests of the selfish few. My hope for 2021 is that the better angels of the society can overcome the lesser trolls that wish to cause discord, division and harm. We are, can and should be better than that.

P.S. Feel free to block me if you do not wish to see my updates. If you wish to speak, I'm more than happy to hold civil discourse. That is what makes a free society work best.