Common Myths about Anger
Venkataraman Murali Ganesh
Associate Vice President - Commercial & IPR @ S Chand Group. | Embracing growth & empathy | Avid learner & listener | Let's grow and understand together!
Five common myths about anger:
There is no good or bad emotion; they are instinctual reactions, and we don't make conscious decisions for them to come. Some anger reactions are appropriate, such as anger against discrimination, injustice, and abuse. What can be judged as positive or negative/ healthy or unhealthy, is how we react to anger.
2. Anger must be 'unleashed' for it to go away.
Anger indeed needs to be expressed for symptoms to be relieved. However, expressing anger verbally or physically aggressively is not the only way to 'unleash' anger. Nor is anger an excuse for a person to be aggressive. The expression of anger can be tempered by rationality and forethought.
Just so you know, venting anger does not necessarily result in the anger disappearing, although venting can relieve the symptoms. At times, processing personal experiences, seeing substantial change and genuine forgiveness are needed for anger to go away.
3. Ignoring anger will make it go away.
Generally, all kinds of emotions do not disappear when ignored. The anger gets temporarily shelved and will likely find other ways of getting expressed. It can get projected onto another person, transformed into a physical symptom, or built up for a more significant future blow-up. Some of our behaviours may even be unconscious ways of expressing anger.
While there are situations when it's inadvisable to express your anger immediately, you can just acknowledge that it exists.?
4. You can't control your anger.
This myth is related to the second one. As discussed earlier, the fight and flight instinct can make anger an overwhelming emotion. However, this instinct does not mean that you're but a slave to your impulses. Awareness of anger dynamics and a conscious effort to rise above your anger can help you regain control of your reactions.
5. People will think I am a pushover if I don't get angry.
A person can lose credibility if he makes rules and then ignores violations. However, anger is not the only way a person can show that breaches have consequences. The most effective way of instilling discipline in others is to have a calm, non-emotional approach to dealing with rule-breakers. Calm and rationality can communicate strength too.