COMMON COURTESY AND TODAY’S MOVE TOWARD CIVILITY
I’m noticing a trend emerging in the business world and it’s kind of puzzling.?Don’t get me wrong, I applaud it. I just wonder how we got to the stage where we need to have people whose job it is to introduce to our organizations something which used to be accepted as a norm. Or was it??
I’m talking about ‘civility’.?I’m a big fan of being civil. Of being courteous and mannerly. Of respecting others even when our opinions differ and being kind and empathetic.?So this article is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but nevertheless, it is something that I’ve wondered about.
Yes, there has always been a certain type of person who gets ahead by acting as if they’re a steamroller flattening everything in their path.?The kind of person who displays relentless insensitivity.?That stereotypical ‘go-getter-successful-at-all-costs’ personality. But, has that really become the norm in business? Have we really moved so far away from all the values we were taught as children in days gone by??If we have, how did it happen and can we really re-instill that civility in adults??
I do understand that we all have failings on occasion.? Sometimes we aren’t as courteous and kind and empathetic as we should be. But has widespread incivility become accepted as normal in business??The refusal to respect others differences? I’m not just talking about a lack of inclusion or diversity. I know that has long been an issue in business. What I’m asking is whether there is a pervasive culture of incivility in business that goes far beyond diversity and inclusion. And if so, how did we get here??
Is it the result of simple selfishness, or is it a result of survival of the fittest? And was civility ever really a mark of civilized society?
There have been documentaries made about different stratas in societies and their level of kindness.?It’s quite eye-opening. Contrary to what we’d imagine, it’s the more affluent who are less generous and kind and the less affluent who are more. Obviously that’s a generalization. But perhaps it is has a bearing on the business environment as well when it comes to how we treat each other and our team members.
Perhaps this is why there is an emergence of the new roles such as ‘civility officers’. People dedicated to reintroduce the niceties of civilized society to our business world.
Having said all that, and despite the incivility that might exist, I’m glad to say that I meet wonderfully polite, kind, caring people in business all the time.?Yet often, when it comes to corporate policies, I have to admit that I’ve seen some that appear to have been devised by ogres with little to no compassion, empathy or understanding of humanity.
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When I think about it, it seems that there are two factors at play in the apparent lack of civility in the business world. ?
The first factor could be the very thing that has put America at the forefront of the modern world. The energetic pursuit of innovation. The desire to create something from nothing.?The passion to achieve the American Dream. All of which are wonderful, except when they’re not. When it’s pursuit of all those goals no matter what the cost, then it’s time to take a step back and examine whether that’s really the best way…
The second factor could be trying too hard.? The vast majority of businesses begin as small operations with fired-up, passionate people who truly want to provide their customers with the best possible product / service in the shortest possible time.?And that too is a wonderful thing… until it’s not.?When that zeal for excellence becomes a taskmaster which doesn’t take humanity into account but sets standards that are unsustainable for mere mortals, it can lead to a whole lot of problems for everyone, including the passionate entrepreneur.
When a taskmaster takes the driver’s seat, civility takes the back seat.?
In many ways, the past year and a half has given us a similar lesson to that we learn faced with some kind of life altering or life threatening crisis. It forces us to really see the treadmill we have created for ourselves.?It gives us enough of a jolt to make the decision to hop off the treadmill and begin walking a different path. ?
A path where we take the time and trouble to tell others just how much we appreciate them. A path where we admit we don’t have it all together and we apologize when we make mistakes. A path where we acknowledge we don’t necessarily have the full view of any given situation.?Where we consider differing opinions understanding they might just be the part of the picture we aren’t seeing.
Perhaps the emergence of civility officers is something that will benefit business immensely. A kind of mentor who can influence business norms and behaviors positively and reintroduce a more human-friendly environment into our hectic, driven and ever-changing world.
What do you think? ?
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The Myth Slayer?? Transformational Coach for Attorneys ?? 2x TEDx Speaker ?? Ignite Rebirth, Inspiration, & Bold Impact ?? I Want Your Future to Be EPIC!
3 年The article is, as you say, only SOMEWHAT tongue in cheek. That itself says sad volumes, Andre Williams
Financial Advisor ?? | CEPA? Certified Professional | Building businesses that serve your life, not consume it ??
3 年I think we’re too quick to judge and our attention span is shorter than a gnat. As I was reading your post and civility officers I kept thinking about Wendy Rhoades from Billions. That’s exactly what she does. Thought provoking article Andre ????????
Award-Winning Author, The Canary Code | Professor, Organizational Psychology & Business | Speaker | Autism Employment | Neurodiversity | HR | Dignity | ?? Moral Injury | | Disability Employment | Global Diversity |
3 年Fantastic and very important thoughts! Incivility is a major problem, for all the reasons you mention - plus I believe some companies introduce the culture of internal competition in an erroneous, in my evaluation, belief that it will help with the external competition! But it only saps energy from most and helps the survival of the meanest.
Executive Coach || Leadership Development || Ex Apple
3 年It's a sad statement when you need a civility officer. If you consider that business is just another expression of life, then it doesn't reflect well on the people in that company -- especially the leaders -- that they *need* a civility officer. I'm with David E. Marlow on this. Culture is what actually happens in the company, not what they say they want. If a company is thinking about hiring a civility officer, what they really need to do is hire a coach for the leadership team.
The Ikigai Guy ?? ? Author of 'The Ikigai Way'
3 年Goodness knows we could always use another 'officer' in the leadership structure.?? Company culture reflects what companies value and reward, not what they say they value and reward. If there is civility and respect while getting things done, it is because those who demonstrate that kind of leadership are being recognized and rewarded. The opposite is true as well.