Commitment Issues

How do I find a man who’s ready for a committed relationship?

Note the subtle difference in wording. You don’t “make” a good man. You “find” a good man.

Ask yourself and try to objectively analyze why it is that you struggle adhering to decisions.

Is it a fear of commitment to an outcome?

Is it worry of potential loss should you commit to one plan or one relationship over the other?

?If you can do your part to really analyze and determine the cause then it's easier to assign steps to help you move forward.

Relationships can be complicated, and there are plenty of things that can affect how we behave in a relationship too, from our attachments style, to having a fear of abandonment, to having trouble committing to another person - aka commitment issues.

If you find yourself constantly afraid of making things serious with partners, or you're dating someone who's distant and refusing to label things, it could be that commitment issues are at play. Relationships

Commitment phobia can include fear of commitment across several dimensions, not just romantic relationships. It can include fear of deep friendship and a reluctance to commit to a job or career.?

Cultural trends and technology have influenced people’s search for love and work. A lot of opportunities have opened up, creating an abundance of choice that can be overwhelming and contribute to people’s hesitation to commit.

Childhood experience can also contribute to commitment avoidance. When parents are overly intrusive or unresponsive, some children grow into adults who fear emotional dependence. They may reject deeper relationships as a preemptive defense.

Be on the lookout for the following signs of commitment phobia. They may be indications that you are denying yourself meaningful relationships and opportunities. In a partner, they may be a sign that they cannot give you the kind of relationship you need.

Early on in a relationship, someone regularly cancelling, continually saying they'll do something and then backing out, or not seeming fully present with you might all be signs that they're someone who struggles to commit

People with commitment phobia often give themselves away subconsciously. They overuse some words and are reluctant to say others.

People with commitment phobia often hesitate to use the word “love” or to define relationships through such terms as boyfriend or girlfriend.?

They also may over-rely on modifiers such as “might,” “probably,” or “if nothing comes up.” When they use these words, they display hesitation with regard to minimal commitments, which doesn’t bode well for their ability to make larger ones.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?...People with commitment phobia often go into relationships under the assumption that they won’t work out. They plan for failure but not for success, and their predictions become self-fulfilling.

On the other hand, a complete inability to contemplate the future of the relationship — in positive or negative terms — is also a sign that a person might be wrestling with commitment issues.

People with secure attachment styles tend to have multiple close friendships. Commitment-phobic individuals sometimes have smaller or more superficial circles of friends.

A romantic history that includes real, long-term relationships is also a good sign. If they only have experience with short flings or one-night stands, they may not be ready to commit.

Do they express concern over becoming an “us” or speak negatively about the way that others disappear into relationships?

They may not feel secure in their sense of self and fear the way that a relationship will impact their identity.?

One of the biggest predictors of commitment and relationship success is the willingness to consider the future of the relationship and even make sacrifices for it. If they are reluctant to put their partner’s needs first or avoid the word “we” in favor of “I,” they may have commitment phobia.?

Commitment issues may be related to previous commitments you've made in your life. Commonly called your "baggage."

Do you want to add a word or two?....

Anyone who's been through any relationships before, whether they ended badly or well, is carrying around expectations: high ones, boring ones, or dashed ones. These things *do* affect how you approach your later relationships (speed and quality.

Commitment issues may be a sign that *you know something's wrong,* deep inside you, but it's not something you're consciously able to articulate yet.?

Commitment issues may be bad timing. Sometimes two people are just at different places in their lives... one is ambitious and focused outwardly, on career; one has achieved those milestones or has no interest in them and is focused on home.

No means no.

Everybody has issues. It's not a bad thing, it's a fact. Yours are valid, even if they're holding up your partner's plans.

Your comments........?

And if you're the impatient partner, hang on. Don't push, and when you've asked in your own kind and un-pushy way, don't keep on asking. He or she heard you, and he or she won't forget to give you an update when it's right for them to do so.

Remember how lucky you are, that the person you're with was able to satisfy your commitment "issues" so quickly.

I want you and love you for now, but once I get bored with you and/or meet someone who turns me on even more, I need to leave myself a quick exit.

There’s no such thing as being “afraid” of commitment.

What, does this person think they will be stricken with a fatal illness or get flattened by a car if they commit to someone?

When someone tells you such an audacious thing, they wish to avoid the inconvenience of being burdened by a committed partner when they want to cut bait. That way, they can tell you (in retrospect), “Well, we were never committed, so I can just leave whenever I want.”

This person is a player. Trying to get laid. On a regular basis. With a bit of company on the side. While holding themselves out as single and available to the rest of the dating population.

It’s the lazy, selfish way of getting their needs met while meeting no one else’s. Whatever you do, don’t take what they tell you as a compliment, and do not for one minute think that they can fundamentally change.

I can’t really buy the idea that the true issue is men being afraid to commit. I think when a woman complains about a guy having commitment issues, she’s going after a guy who’s not into her - simple as that.

He was into her enough to have something casual but not something serious and I think that’s why a woman might be confused. If he was truly interested in her then there wouldn’t be commitment issues.

It is what it is.