Commandos, Sharks and Rocks - My Journey and Why I Do What I Do

Have you ever wondered if you are doing what you are born to do?

Have you ever looked back on your life and felt like all your experiences led you to this point?

Reflecting on my life so far, noticing what I enjoy most, what I have natural talents for, what my values are and what I stand for has been enlightening. Some parts are painful to look back on but that is often where the real growth takes place. It has helped bring a lot more clarity, meaning and power into my coaching.

￡25k in debt & almost homeless

￡25k in debt and at risk of being homeless. This was the situation for my family in 1989. They were only able to secure somewhere to live (a 2-bedroom council flat) because my brother was coaxed into going to college because he had just finished school. Without Dom being in full time education they could have been homeless. I had already left home and was not around while my family had to pack, sell, put in storage or dispose of our family possessions.

My teenage years taught me that life was not fair. No matter how hard you worked, how big the sacrifices you made there are people out there who will take it all from you and leave you with nothing.

So, how did I learn this at such a young age? Because in 1981 my parents sold all their assets and took all their savings to go into business with a business partner. For the next 8 years the business always came first; we all worked long hours on the farm and lived on a very tight budget while my parents grew the business.

Unfortunately, after only 12 months the business partner started his nasty game, screwing us over and taking everything we had worked for. The next 7 years were almost a daily battle of fighting to keep the business and our home, both on the farm and in court. We experienced, theft, assault, harassment, breaking and entering into our home, false accusations made to the police, contempt of court and there was even a contract taken out on my father.

The court case was complex and stressful, but we won almost every single stage of the case. However, despite overwhelming evidence, the judge shafted us! We lost everything, through absolutely no fault of our own. The business partner had done the exact same thing to 4 previous business partners, unfortunately they were bankrupt before even making it to court.

It was a messy and painful experience and, as a teenager, I learned 3 things:

1.??????If you want something you have to work for it, don’t expect a handout

2.??????You will come across sharks in life, you can decide to fight or to runaway

3.??????Life is not fair, don’t expect anyone else to fight your battles for you not even the police or the legal system

Go Commando

I needed an outlet for the stresses caused by the situation at home. I could have chosen a negative activity such as drink, drugs or anti-social behaviour. But I was determined to create a positive outcome for myself, so instead I chose to channel my aggression into fitness, and I hit it hard, really hard.

Ant Middleton ( www.antmiddleton.com ) and David Goggins?( www.davidgoggins.com ) talk about using their anger as energy to fuel their determination to pass P-Company (Parachute Regiment) and Navy SEAL selection, and Steve Judge, 2 x World Para-Triathlon Champion, ( www.steve-judge.co.uk ) talks about his internal White Tiger which helped him learn to walk again and go onto become world champion. Fitness training was the one place I could go to deal with my demons.

My parent’s experience taught me that running a business was too risky; you work all hours, you sacrifice everything, your family go without, and you risk ending up with nothing but painful experiences and broken dreams. So, I decided to work hard and get myself a solid career; something I enjoyed, excelled at and would feel proud of achieving. I set myself the goal of achieving an officer’s commission as a Royal Marine Commando.

Despite several people telling me I wouldn’t pass the assessment process, especially on my first attempt at only 17 years old, I passed Officer assessment first time while I was still studying for my A-levels, and I felt incredible. After several years of extremely hard training I achieved my goal. It’s almost impossible to explain how good it feels to have successfully passed one of the world’s toughest military assessments. I felt as if my life had taken on meaning, I couldn’t wait to start my training at Commando Training Centre Royal Marines (CTCRM).

I learned:

1.???Don’t listen to those who knock you down, listen to those who lift you up

2.???With the right determination and hard work it is amazing what you can achieve

3.???Never do just enough to get by, do far more and find your true limits

?The Rock That Almost Killed Me

After a few months travelling in South Africa I went for one final evening swim on a deserted beach before returning to the UK and start my Commando training. I sprinted to the sea at full speed and dived into the heavy surf – and slammed straight into a rock!?

The pain was excruciating as my back hyper-extended and my head cracked open; I was semi-conscious, I couldn’t move my legs, my blood was in the water, I was struggling to stay afloat, and I knew that sharks were nearby in the bay.?I knew that if I did not get out very quickly I would either drown or be shark food, or both.

There are times in your life when you need to be 100% committed, and this was one of those moments for me. I don’t know how long I took to get to the water’s edge, but when I did I found I could not stand up. All I could do was lie in the water praying the sharks couldn’t get me in the shallows. Finally, someone saw me and helped me back to my car. They probably saved my life that night.

With a serious back injury my career in the marines was over before it even started. On returning to the UK I had to decide what to do with my life now.

Sport, Coaching, Army Physical Training Instructor and a Lot of Endorphins

Sport and fitness were the only things I was passionate about, so this was the career I chose. For the next 12 years I was really in my zone; sport science degree, Sports Development Manager, sports coach, coaching coaches, personal trainer, Territorial Army Physical Training Instructor & Unarmed Combat Instructor, martial arts coach & competitor (Ju Jitsu). My back injury caused me regular pain and prevented me from applying for Commando / Special Forces Reservist selection, but I could train around it. My fitness was excellent, and life was a lot of fun.

I loved the sports industry and the esprit de corps of the military. I loved being part of strong teams where we were focused on the same goals and had each other’s backs. Knowing you can rely on your teammates, and they can rely on you, gives you a huge sense of security and confidence. When you have a great team around you it feels like you can take on the world.

I got huge satisfaction from coaching people to improve their health, their fitness and enabling them to achieve far more than they ever thought possible. Knowing you are making a positive difference every day is incredibly rewarding.

I had a great life, but I got restless, I knew I wanted more ….

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The Corporate Ladder of Success and Frustration

Despite loving the fitness industry and the military it was time for a change; I felt a real attraction towards business development. For the next 13 years I worked in the pharmaceutical and healthcare sectors. I had a natural aptitude for business, consistently winning multiple awards and accolades, and regularly being headhunted by blue chip companies. The packages were very good; great salaries and bonuses, company cars, share options, etc, but as I gained more senior roles I became disgusted by the unethical and unprofessional behaviours of many of the people I worked with.

Politics, bullshit and bullying was rife. Many of my colleagues would just keep their heads down and take the money. But I can’t do that, I am not wired that way. I always stood up for those being bullied and reported unethical behaviour when I saw it. This meant I often became unpopular with senior managers who wanted to ignore the problems. I moved companies every few years trying to find a company whose values matched mine, but never found one.

There were many times when I became extremely stressed; I was working long hours, my fitness had dropped, and I was drinking too much. This was not who I am, not who I ever wanted to be, and the internal conflict caused me a lot of anxiety.

Working in an environment where I could not trust some of my teammates or senior management was painful. I missed working in a team where we all pulled together, where team results were more important than individual egos and where we had each other’s backs.

Eventually I’d had enough. I was fed up with the of the lack of integrity, of fighting the system, of working hard and overachieving, but never being appreciated. So, I took the brave decision and walked out of my director’s position. I had no idea what I was going to do next, I just knew I couldn’t stay in the industry I was in.

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A Brave New Start

I remember driving along the M4 returning from my last day at work and calling a friend who was an Executive Coach. I didn’t really understand what coaching was (outside of sports coaching) or how I would benefit, but I was openminded and ready to invest in myself and my future.

Coaching, in its simplest form, enables you to decide what you want to achieve, and then supports you to make the right decisions and take the right actions to achieve your goals.?The coaching helped me to really understand what I enjoyed and wanted to do next:

1.??????Training, teaching and coaching others to create better and healthier lifestyles

2.??????Business planning, business development, marketing and sales

3.??????Working with a great team of people I respect and trust

4.??????Working in the South West

Identifying what you really want sets your Reticular Activating System, the filter in your brain. Your RAS filters out the irrelevant information and ensures you notice more of the opportunities around you. As you now have more relevant information you can make better decisions and take the right actions to move you closer to your goals.

Interestingly, only a few weeks after I set my goals I became aware of the Business Coaching industry, something I had never heard of before.

I decided to walk away from my successful career and start running my own business as a Business Coach.

This gave me an amazing opportunity to use my coaching and training skills from sport and the military, and my knowledge and experience gained from the corporate world to support business owners to achieve success.

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My Mission:?10-4

I now run a business doing exactly what enjoy most; working with a great “team” of clients and training and coaching them to create “millionaire lifestyles”. There is nothing more exciting for me than seeing my clients achieving far greater success than they ever thought possible.

My Big Goals, 10-4 :

• 10 x – enabling my clients to generate 10x ROI (Return On Investment) from their investment in coaching
• 100 x – create 100 happy & healthy “millionaire lifestyles”
• 1,000 x – support my clients to create 1,000 new jobs
• 10,000 x – positively influence 10,000 people’s lives

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