Commanding The Tension Between Jekyll and Hyde

A cough in the back of the hall shattered the deafening silence that filled the auditorium. Plucked from the wondering fancies of my mind, I was unsure of how long I had been standing on the stage, completely frozen, sheepishly staring into the space in front of me with a bewildered look etched across my face. I realized that I was quietly humming a verse from “Mary Had A Little Lamb”, eye twitching, cold sweat running down my brow. It should not have happened this way, I was meant to give the keynote speech to set the scene for the week’s symposium, but I could barely remember my own name, let alone a single word from the notes that I held in my left hand. The knot in my stomach, tunnel vision and ringing in my ears, all indicators of a state of panic. I felt like a myotonic goat.

I have never been fond of public speaking, even when thoroughly prepared and in command of the topic, I struggle to find the confidence to engage large groups in formal presentation. Glossophobia or speech anxiety is the fear of public speaking (Anderson, 2003), but there is more to it than that. I used to feel that the audience would not care for the topic, that they would think I do not understand the content or master the skill to convey the significance, or that my theory was flawed and that they would poke it full of holes, pointing and laughing. I would naturally shy away from the opportunity to present, finding any one of a thousand excuses to be somewhere else. To better understand why we experience these inexplicable reflexive behaviors, we need to look towards Neuroscience and the study of neural pathways that describes the basis of these anxieties.

Changing How Your Brain Is Wired

Neural pathways are connections in the brain that transmit and carry messages, created over years of cultural and behavioral reinforcement based on our environments and habits. When these connections and pathways are used frequently, the connections become stronger and faster, and with enough repetition it becomes automatic or natural. Neuroplasticity is the phenomenon that explains the brain’s ability to change and ingrain new neural pathways and synapses through intentional repeated action and engagement and pruning existing connections that are no longer used.

How much?

You do what you do because you have always done it and you probably don’t even think about it anymore. Your brain is wired a specific way, which dictates how you perceive things, a cognitive bias which influences your beliefs, realizations and actions. But it does not mean you are stuck like that forever. You can reroute your brain with enough positive effort and practice.

A fascinating practical example of this was demonstrated by Destin Sandlin, an engineer and science communicator, in an online educational video on how to rewire your brain (Learn to Change, 2019). Sandlin modifies the configuration of a standard bicycle to turn in the opposite direction and goes through series of experiments to analyze and remap his ingrained reflexive actions. He establishes that even though he has the knowledge of how to use a standard bicycle, has a clear understanding of the current situation and its nuances, he does not immediately have the capacity to adapt his thinking to overcome its limitations. This is significant for all of us.

(Learn to Change, 2019)

Through regular practice and an ongoing determination, Sandler eventually overcomes the limitations of his neural pathways, something clicks, and he finds himself riding the Backward Brain Bicycle. It took him more than 8 months of trying (and failing spectacularly) but he eventually got it. He tried the same experiment with his young son, who mastered the new concept in as little as 2 weeks, which correlates with the elasticity of a young mind and supports the fact that children can learn new things quicker than adults, specifically if there is already an existing mental model in place.

So how does this work? Well, Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to establish new connections and pathways in response to environmental changes, injury or new learning and development. Originally it was believed that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, you can’t unlearn that which has been true your entire life. But through repetition and purposefully crafted mental exercises, new connections can be formed, new neural pathways forged, and new behaviors created in place of older views and beliefs. It has been positioned in various areas of application, from rehabilitation, psychological behavioral change, physical neural damage and trauma counselling to growth, personal development and assisted learning (Berlucchi, 2011).

(nicabm, 2019)

Growth Mindset

This is particularly fascinating and encouraging when considered in light of personal and leadership development and has significant impacts on previously held misconceptions about intelligence, behavior and traits. A Growth Mindset refers to one's beliefs that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, guidance from others and a practical strategy and roadmap (Dweck, 2016). It thrives on challenges, leans towards opportunities and seeks managed failure to better understand areas of development. Challenges are actively embraced, constructive criticism seeked and seen as opportunities to uncover blind spots and insights gleaned from lessons learned.

On the other hand, a Fixed Mindset assumes a static posture towards skills, that your creative abilities, intelligence, character and behavior is set in stone and cannot be improved or change in any significant or meaningful way. Fixed Mindsets are limiting views which leads to avoiding new challenges and opportunities for fear of ridicule, failure and embarrassment. That nagging pessimistic narrative that beats the inadequacy drum, setting the limiting pace for your development with remarks such as “I am not good enough”, “I will never be able to do this” or “What makes you so special”.

(KOHL, 2017)

What’s With The Goat, And Why Does It Faint?

The myotonic goats are amusingly known for their fits of prolonged muscle cell expansion and transitory stiffness when startled or surprised, which leads to instability and an inability to move their legs, then has them falling over mid-stride, as if they just fainted on the spot (Conservancy, 2019). This makes for some hilarious social media content (don’t worry, from what I read they don’t get hurt ??), but also has a fascinating similarity to what we experience in a state of panic and stress. Not necessarily keeling over, but naturally one tends to avoid such situations where unknown circumstances could generate fear and anxiety, and hold uncertainty in its outcome.

As I started my development journey, life offered me many opportunities to face challenges head on, some of which I acknowledged, others shut me down and had me toppling over with stiff legs in the air. I maneuvered these situations with the grace of a blindfolded elephant. What I didn’t realize was that my body was giving me hundreds of signals and signs to indicate the opportunity, I was just not trained to recognize them. From the knotted stomach, tension in the neck, sweaty palms, dry mouth, all indicators from my body that it is time for fight, flight or freeze. Through guidance of a coach, regular reflection and introspection and by forcing myself to engage the situations, I developed a sixth sense, a Spider sense. I realized that these indicators were accompanied by a strong negative narrative which dissuaded from my goals, a strong voice in my head that repeated failure and mockery. Overcoming these personal obstacles was by no means a fluke, they didn’t just go away, but rather through a concerted effort and an ongoing commitment to invest emotional energy I was able acknowledge my growth zone.

Growth Zone?

The growth zone is a space of learning, of accepting new challenges and opportunities, accepting the risk of failure and stretching yourself in new areas of thinking, doing and believing. It is vital that you establish where your zones are for various scenarios and situations, what triggers you to move from one zone to the next and which indicators or signals you can use to anticipate the transition. At first you will jump from Blue to Red, don’t pass Go, don’t collect $200, straight to Panic. But with enough reflection, introspection and help from a coach you will identify those triggers, crate some anchor points and work your way through the anxiety. Create a safe space inside yourself to move towards the growth zone is a fundamental part of establishing a mindset of learning from failing, failing fast and adapting your mental models.

What Can I do To Re-Wire My Brain?

So now we know what is happening, how do we go about changing all of this. A few tips to help along the way:

• Journal and Reflect regularly. To understand what is happening to you, to establish the patterns, you need to have something to review. When you critically reflect and journal on events and outcomes you create a space to learn from past experiences, to look at what worked, what didn’t go so well and what you can do to improve. We do this for many other facets of business life such as Scrum Retrospectives and Continuous Improvement, why not for something as important as personal development?
• Acknowledge your position. If you wish to move forward, you need to accept where you are currently, create a baseline of what you have so that you can step up and step out. This is not an exercise of blame or self-pity, but rather a process of creating an understanding of who you are, recognizing that the negative narrative is there and opening yourself for growth.
• Establish a new mental model. To change in a significant way, you need to establish a picture of how it will look once you are done. This is important for two reasons: firstly to create an objective or purpose for going on the journey, something to hold onto when the going gets tough, and secondly to create measures and metrics to track your progress. You want to know why you are doing it and how are you faring in the process.
• Create a roadmap and strategy to transition. You are not simply going to wake up one morning, and poof, all is changed. No, no. This is like fitness training for the mind. You need to work out a routine, get yourself a scale and measuring tape, and engage a good trainer. Establish manageable interim goals, regularly measure yourself against these targets and find a good mentor or coach to help you on the way.
• Change your narrative. That voice also won’t keep quiet just because you now know it’s there. On the contrary, it will go into overdrive to dissuade you from embarking on this journey, from embracing change and moving towards the unknown. The important part is to accept that it's your own narrative, no one else's. Here I would recommend establishing some anchor points. Find some memories of times where you have really excelled and succeeded. Use these as reference to assert your ability. Think of how it felt, what the scene looked like, smelled like and what happened. These neural recollections will strengthen the sense of accomplishment and heighten the sense for triggers.
• Take time to settle in. Some days it will be two steps forward, some days a step back. This is OK. You need to take the time for these changes to become the new norm.
• Keep going. This process is a journey, not a destination. Have you seen those Matryoshka Dolls?

From a favorite inspirational commencement speech, David Foster Wallace presents a story about capital-T Truth (Wallace, 2005):

There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"

A remarkable piece to read. It is not about knowledge, or skills, or education, but rather about an essential awareness, a reminder that we all have it within us, all we need to do is acknowledge and embrace the change.

Opportunity starts at the edge of your comfort zone. What is stopping you from pursuing your passions and dreams?

This forms part of an evolving series exploring Strategic Business and IT Alignment, Digital Enablement and Transformation, IT Governance, Organizational Design and Agility, and Strategic IT Management.

• A picture paints a thousand journeys
• Me, Myself and Mr. Miyagi.
• In Pursuit Of Strategic Business Alignment
• Why Workplace Relationship Management Matters
• A Fascinating Case Of The Conflict Of The Orders
• Your Data Strategy And Why You Need To Consider It
• Commanding The Tension Between Jekyll and Hyde
• A Ghost In The Machine. Robotic Process Automation
• Know Your Triggers. 5 Things That Make You Flip?

References

Anderson, H. V., 2003. A Virtual End to Stage Fright. Harvard Management Communication, 6(1), pp. 3-4.

Berlucchi, G., 2011. Brain plasticity and cognitive neurorehabilitation. Neuropsychological Rehabilitation, 21(5), pp. 560-578.

Conservancy, T. L., 2019. MYOTONIC OR TENNESSEE FAINTING GOAT. [Online] Available at: https://livestockconservancy.org/index.php/heritage/internal/tennfaint [Accessed Oct 2019].

Dweck, C., 2016. What Having a "Growth Mindset" Actually Means. Harvard Business Review Digital Articles, pp. 2-4.

KOHL, K., 2017. Developing a Growth Mindset is a core future skill. [Online] Available at: https://www.talenttalks.net/developing-growth-mindset-core-future-skill/ [Accessed Oct 2019].

Learn to Change, 2019. The Backwards Brain Bicycle. [Online] Available at: https://www.learntochange.eu/2016/11/10/backward-bicycle/ [Accessed 10 2019].

nicabm, 2019. How Does Neuroplasticity Work?. [Online] Available at: https://www.nicabm.com/brain-how-does-neuroplasticity-work/ [Accessed Oct 2019].

Wallace, D. F., 2005. Transcription of the 2005 Kenyon Commencement Address - May 21, 2005. [Online] Available at: https://web.ics.purdue.edu/~drkelly/DFWKenyonAddress2005.pdf [Accessed Oct 2019].