Coming Up Short: Part 1

Not so long ago, I thought I’d turned into a gigantic failure. ?? I continually felt like I wasn’t doing anything even though I was; yet, more than “not doing anything”, I wasn’t going anywhere.

When I began assessing where I’d been, what I’d noticed was a pattern of degradation. ??

I’d gone from being a rock star Executive Assistant who’d dominated at schedule management, to someone who fumbled at maintaining their own calendar, reinforcing the irrational belief I was only capable of doing one thing per day… lest I let myself down again.

My self-confidence was through the floor. ? I’d become a miserable sap.

I couldn’t help but keep myself trapped in a state of doubt. What wrong turn had I taken to have led me down this windy path where the farther I traveled, the less I knew myself & what I believed I was capable of? I was utterly perplexed & growing increasingly frustrated at my lack of progress & sluggish performance.

?? ♀? I repeatedly asked myself, what am I running towards?!?

Again & again, I kept coming up short.

What the hell was wrong with me?!

I’d spent countless hours contemplating this very question. Clearly, there was something *fundamentally* wrong with me. I simply couldn’t understand how I could’ve drifted so far from center - from who I knew I was capable of being.

Can you even imagine? ?? Being so great at something–well, maybe not great, but at least okay–and then having those same skill sets atrophy right in front of your eyes. In your actions; both what you do & how you do it.

It’s devastating, truly.

In an intimately visceral way, all this calendar nonsense felt a bit unrecoverable–for a long time… a *very* long time. ?? Until one day quite recently, something shifted.

I began to see with fresh eyes what I hadn’t been able to see before.

The first thing I realized was what I truly struggled with: my relationship with productivity. ?? Not only my relationship with productivity; also how I defined what it meant to BE productive in the first place.

Uncovering “productivity” as a root problem liberated me from the dysfunctional relationship I’d developed with my calendar & how I’d managed my day to day.

Let me explain.

Pretty much my entire career, I’ve “assisted”. Dating back to age 15 & my first *real* [volunteer] experience was performing the role of ‘Retail Assistant’ at none other than the Museum of Science & Industry! ?? MOSI for short.

Even from Day 1, I thought I was *so cool* typing in the *secret* pin code underneath the staircase, putting my little vest on, & getting to play with all the fascinating things my parents would *never* look at when we went there. ?? Having this chance opportunity was a BIG DEAL!

You can imagine how engaging that “job” was. ?? I was like a kid in a candy store!

As customers filled the store, I was Johnny-on-the-Spot! Whatever you need, I’m there. You’ve got questions? I’ll find answers. Oh, you want to test it? Well, let’s perforate the seal & open it! ?? Shrink wrap exists for a reason, folks!

And besides, that shrink wrap machine was *the coolest*. Actually, it wasn’t. The machine had a heating element; so, it got quite hot. I’m pretty sure you get what I mean, though.

I digress.

Suffice it to say I was the *best* assistant; dropping whatever I’d been working on to surprise, delight, & exceed expectations. ?? Even if what I’d been doing previously was running my hands through the interesting rocks in the rock bin. Rock bin hand therapy anyone?

And don’t even get me started on how amazing it was to “work” as a Summer Science Camp volunteer; a sort of co-teacher or teacher’s assistant. ?? I *literally* got to play–all day!

This way of experiencing the world, interacting with the people, & curiously wandering into new adventures… it all sort of continued. ??????

My next few opportunities came from my mom, oddly enough. ?? ??She’d spent her first career working in the Food & Beverage Industry as a waitress. My mom was the kind of waitress who’d dominate the BUSY section; often with the capacity to cover section(S). And because my mom was so insanely efficient, she also bussed her own tables. ?? My mom’s my hero.

One day, my mom decides to pivot into a second career. She lands in Real Estate working as an assistant; bringing me along into the land of networked communities. ?????? I personally assisted a handful of realtors & then managed to find my way into healthcare. Not just healthcare, *URGENT CARE*.

A realtor’s husband decided to break away from working as an Emergency Room doctor & establish his own practice. ?? ?? Pat & Mitch loved me, their kids loved me… so naturally, I became one of the original 6 staff working to establish what eventually became an extremely busy & highly profitable Urgent Care practice. As a Front Desk support agent, my primary role was to assist, right now, in whatever order made the most sense in the moment - I learned to triage.

Yet, alas I uprooted my life & moved two hours east. ?? I was *again* fortunate as my boyfriend shared a chance conversation with a woman in an elevator. A woman, who as it turns out, was Executive Assistant to the CEO of a national luxury apartment development company.

I got the job & ultimately ended up working with the Human Resources Director researching & implementing wellbeing initiatives including an [optional] flexible work-schedule, corporate dry cleaning service, & even veterinary pet insurance. ?? Whatever people needed, I acted as a catalyst & made it happen. Whenever, wherever. Reliability was key! ??

The same logic held true for the handful of jobs that followed. Working as a Balloon Artist & Regional Director for a small family entertainment business. ?? ♀? Moving on to work as a Customer Service Manager for a Transportation & Logistics company… eventually marrying my husband.

You may not realize it, but in all the roles I’ve shared with you, my performance literally hinged on *everyone else* showing up & presenting an issue we’d then work through together.

Didn’t matter what creative thingamajig -or- wonky monkey wrench was thrown in the mix, we knew we could handle it & make amazingness happen. *That’s* what productivity looked like.

Efficiency was key.

After getting married, my life became one-with-the-military. ?? Our life’s Chapter 1 began eerily familiar to many: Deployment. Yet, once our lives normalized, I remember sharing with my husband, ‘I’ve been out of the work loop for a while, how do I know I’ve not been made redundant? Why would *anyone* want to hire me anyway?’

‘Don’t worry; keep doing what you’re doing & something will happen’, he reassured.

Even though I felt like calling BS & throwing in the towel, I persevered. ??

At the time, we’d just moved to Hawaii. After camping out for a few weeks in hotel lodging, we’d managed to secure a house just one mile away from my husband’s clinic. Yay! Okay, now to see about all this Military Spouse Preference nonsense… ?? scope out if I can get a job as a member of the US Federal Civil Service.

6 short months later, I was in! ?? But not before meeting Pauline.

I met Pauline at a local diner about mid-morning - during that weird busy period between breakfast & lunch - just after my appointments at Military & Family Support Center. I’d ordered my breakfast at the counter & went to take a seat after a 4-top had cleared… yet, there stood a short, heavyset Hawaiian Islander. ?? “Are you alone?” she grumbled.

“Uh, yes?” I quizzically replied.

“Well, then take a seat!” ?? Immediately with a refreshing tone, “it’s just me & my son if you’d like to join us” as she took the first seat herself.

And with that curious spin, we dove deep into what we both knew little about. For me, Hawaiian culture; for her, Civilian Sector employment. ?? Pauline pressed, ‘I know you’re looking, but are you working now? Seems like these things could take a while.’

And there was that uncomfortable answer again… “Uhm, no?”

‘Great!’ she said. ?? ‘I’m looking for an Admin to help me during tax season. It doesn’t pay much… But, you’re free to make your own hours & look for additional work. What do you say?’

“Some dollars is better than ZERO dollars!” I snapped wittily.

?? We laughed.

Pauline stood by her word, too. ??

One day, I’d heard about a job fair at the center & gave Pauline a call. “I found out about this thing, is it alright with you if I come in a bit later?”

‘Oh, yeah, no problem. Good luck & see you soon.’

On my way to the job fair, I received a call telling me to turn back around. ?? I had a job interview RIGHT NOW–if I wanted it–for a Veterans Affairs Benefits Advisor role. As serendipitous as that, I’d cat walked my way towards opportunity.

And Pauline was thrilled for me! ?? Tax season had concluded.

Yet, a few short months into my fancy new role as facilitator, I got *the* call. I was to be the Executive Assistant to the Commanding Officer of Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam. No interview, no nothing. ?? I surfaced as *Best Qualified* & landed the job.

Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am! ?? [mic drop].

In terms of productivity, I’d rounded the corner from role efficiency & entered the land of role effectiveness. ?? And in my case, this meant having my finger on the pulse for a leadership team of 7. Assisting humble strategists & high-performing visionaries, maintaining their calendars in a way that optimized their workstyles & capacity to do more of what they desired. I’m pretty sure if you looked up the term ‘Gal Friday’ in the dictionary, you’d see my image waving ‘hello’ to you. ?? Stuff got done & the people I supported were positioned as capable professionals.

This level of complex effectiveness persisted to the next job & then the next. Where I’d been promoted to an Echelon 3 Command supporting the Executive Director. ?? And later on–once the military relocated us–as Executive Assistant to The RK Group’s Chairman Emeritus. And then again–quite devastatingly & much too soon–the military relocated us to the nation’s capital: Washington, DC. ??

If I’m being honest, *this* is where my relationship with productivity & effectiveness fell apart.

Moving *again* felt as if my life’s joyous sparks had been taken from me. ?? Finally, I was in a good place - recognized - heard - supported - valued…

Alas, the military says *NO*... you must *GO*.

And so we went.

?? As did a little piece of my heart.

We arrived 2 days after the 2020 pandemic shut down the city, the nation, & then the world. ??

With *literally* no support, I stumbled into truckloads of grief - and perhaps even depression. ?? I spent months playing Nintendo’s Animal Crossing; shapeshifting the crap out of my island, risking it all playing turnip stocks, & diving for pearls in the water’s depths.

Sure, I did what every other Military Spouse [& Transitioning Service Member] does. I joined the US Military Chamber of Commerce Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Fellowship Program. ?? I didn’t get selected during Cohort 2020-A. However, I did get selected during 2020-B!

Interestingly enough, I landed a position working for a small, all-women team in the financial industry. ?? ???? ???? ♀??? ?????? After the 6-week fellowship, I’d planned on quitting since I didn’t particularly care for what I’d been doing. I weighed the decision & decided to stay on until mid-December. ? Surely I’d figure something out in the new year once I had my thinking time back.

In preparation for my departure, I’d noticed several key issues affecting the business. ?? As a token of my appreciation, I shared my high-level observations with the boss. After all the [underlining, starring, & head nodding] as she read through the brief, she looked up & asked quite directly, ?? “Okay, great! What do you need from me to make this happen?”

I wasn’t prepared.

Enter stage left: life as an immersive consultant.

Hard to believe nearly two years have passed since jumping headlong into the deep! ?? Yet, it’s time to put a pin in this re-telling for now; shift the tempo & allow space for reflection.

Reflection is key, you know. ?? Turning inward & making sense of what’s discovered. Quite a confronting experience; yet, a highly rewarding endeavor once we embark on the journey.

I’m excited to share with you what I’ve come to learn about productivity, what I’ve had to painstakingly *unlearn*, & who I need to continually become–one day at a time. ??

?? Until then, I hope you have a great week.

Bye for now!

??