Here it is! #1: Invisible Differences – Looking the same but being different! How do we identify and respect one another’s uniqueness?

This year I want to honor my son’s 13-year old birthday by reflecting on 13 lessons that he helped me learn as part of the ongoing search to try to become a #BetterPerson! My son is a smart, kind, and funny boy who is in the high-functioning autism spectrum. According to CDC estimates, 1 in 59 children have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with boys being four times more likely to be diagnosed than girls.

The first thing I learned is connected to our journey to discover, accept and embrace his uniqueness. To make a long story short, it took some time for us as parents to notice his differences. It took a bit longer still to embrace them. And, the journey changed us tremendously by improving our awareness of subtle differences and enlarging our definition and respect for human uniqueness way beyond traditional tangible aspects.

I learned that change starts (or should start) from inside. And requires us to be deeply self-aware (which requires courage to go deep into our values) and make simple, but difficult, decisions. In our case, to respect others as they are and value their uniqueness instead of focusing on potential limitations or our own expectations. Embracing reality, as is, frees the mind and help us become authentically optimistic. Below how this learning might connect (note: we do not necessarily have scientific evidence for all of them) to the business world:

1. It is bigger than each one of us! Trying to leave our ego behind in all that we do is important as ego doesn’t help achieve anything truly meaningful and collaborative.
2. Several authors have pointed out that [talented] people matter to businesses. Having #BetterPeople most likely helps create #BetterBusinesses.
3. Leadership is about values and character; what you stand for not what you say. And, there are many ways to lead. BetterPeople, even if not in formal leadership positions, care deeply about values and character and can be considered leaders in their own contexts.
4. Do not waste your time expecting others to change. Change yourself first and be the change (or the future) you want to create. Maybe others will follow if you lead by example instead!
5. Confront the real facts as they can be liberating and can create possibilities and renewed optimism. Hiding facts or pretending they do not exist, will not help!
6. Develop deeper respect for human beings. Augment your notion of differences. Pay attention to the “hidden” figures. That likely will help you build trust more broadly.
7. Focus on the positives (or the strengths) as every one of us – CEOs or autistic kids – have something that we can learn with. We just need to pay attention and be open.
8. Celebrate small victories and achievements as they can be the seed for the future. Learn to embrace losing as wins are for those that are resilient enough to keep moving forward despite the inevitable difficulties that will come our way.

I am grateful to the opportunity to have a son who I love tremendously and has taught me so much! Thanks in advance for joining the conversation. Rubens