Coming Out at Work

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You might be out and proud in your personal life and often use a rainbow flag as a superhero cape when you’re casually shopping for avocados in Tesco BUT in the world of work you’ve found yourself so far back in the closet you’re in Narnia!

Where the default sexual orientation is heterosexual, being anything other than straight unfortunately needs to be shoehorned into an awkward conversation when meeting new people as if you’re attending an AA meeting!

There is an illusion that LGBTIQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender diverse, people with intersex variations, and queer) individuals have one ‘coming out’ story. We slayed the dragon, rescued the princess and lived happily ever after. When in reality, coming out is a continuous, repetitive process. Particularly when we meet new co-workers or managers, or simply start a new job. It involves juggling (and overthinking!) multiple tactics based on different audiences and environments, as well as checking and cloaking our pronouns with a cape of invisibility. Essentially we have to weigh up different social and professional risks and rewards just to feel secure in our day to day place of work.

Why Does Coming Out Mean So Much?

Some people may not understand the need to announce one’s sexuality.

“Does it even matter?”

“Who cares?”

“Your personal life is your business.”

But the thing is, when you identify as someone on the LGBTIQ+ spectrum and you conceal this to your co-workers, then you are not being your authentic self and this will 100% impact your work.

The stress of prejudice and judgement is the main factor why minority groups hide their identity. For LGBTIQ+ employees, hiding your sexual orientation leads to disengagement and dissatisfaction at work. Similarly this is applicable for trans and gender-diverse workers who experience lower levels of satisfaction with their job when they are misgendered by co-workers.

So Just Come Out Already?!

It’s complicated. We unfortunately do not live in a utopian society where the rationality of equality prevails! Many individuals feel that it’s somewhat of a Catch 22 situation where you’re damned if you do by experiencing some level of discrimination, and damned if you don’t by staying silent and being crippled with anxiety! The key is creating an inclusive environment that makes the LGBTIQ+ community feel like they belong right from the jump off.

Organisations should implement a culture of inclusivity. Fostering a safe environment for LGBTIQ+ people encourages individuals to feel like they have a genuine and positive choice about being out and proud at work. This could be as simple as using inclusive language, supporting and championing LGBTIQ+ employees, including their voice within policies or just being sound enough to call out any homophobia, transphobia, biphobia and intersexism.

Coming out at work is becoming easier. There’s no doubt about that. With so many colourful, unique and innovative voices having spaces in the mainstream, it makes the dauting prospect of saying, “Hi, I’m gay” less terrifying when you have role models and allies.

Here are a few ways you can feel more empowered with owning who you are amongst your work mates.

Keep it small and simple. If you simply want to make genuine connections with people in your office, try chatting one-on-one. It takes a certain amount of courage to come out, but this way you have control over the conversation and any overwhelming feelings.

Don’t talk yourself out of it. You have zero control over how someone else reacts to you. It is highly likely that you’ve prepared for the worse hence your hesitation, but don’t trip yourself up on being smashed with negativity. When I came out to my friends it was the biggest anti-climax of my life! Followed with “Yeah we know… we have eyes!” You set the tone and people will likely take their cue from you.

Stay strong. You may have thrown up a little in your mouth at the prospect of outing yourself to work colleagues, but being scared and feeling the fear and doing it anyway, is a cliché that you should run with! This will not be the last time you have to come out at work, so you will have to learn to be confident in who you are and how you tell the world about this gloriously awesome part of what makes you… you!

Written by our content ninja Shem Douglas