Coming to America: Lessons from a yearlong job swop (swap)

Life was good. I’d just bought my first flat near London and was busily nesting and making plans to transform 650sq ft into the home of my dreams; I entertained and showed it off like it was some scaled down version of Buckingham palace!!

It was during one of these evenings that the malarkey began…

I was entertaining Sue and Kevin from the Carlson Hotels mother ship in Minneapolis. I’d known them both for a number of years and thought they were awesome, but all of a sudden while I was stirring and chopping in the kitchen I heard some frantic whispering and then a summons from the lounge “We’ve had a idea we’d like to talk to you about” …uh oh, here goes!

6 weeks later I was feet-on-the ground in Minneapolis, ready to begin a 12-month job swop (swap) with Kevin that was to change both of our lives in ways we could have never imagined or predicted.

To be clear, I didn’t really want to come. America had never been a dream destination for me and I had some vague notion that Minneapolis was where they held a big car race. What did I know? In fact I was so lacking enthusiasm for this whole adventure that I asked my family and friends to tell me why I shouldn’t go. None of them had a single good answer and many seemed positively keen to see the back of me!

From being a fairly large fish in the fabulous and frenetically paced Edwardian Hotel Group in London, I moved to being a small minnow in the seemingly enormous corporate behemoth that was Carlson Hotels in Minneapolis. I went from hot-desking and getting 25,000 steps a day running from hotel to hotel, to having my own extravagantly appointed cube directly overlooking the entrance of the Carlson Towers and having an ‘unusual’ view of the statue of man and his genius!

I’d never experienced anything so weird in my life as corporate America. For a start I hadn’t the faintest clue what ‘they’ were talking about most of the time, acronyms and buzzwords littered every sentence and it took me a while to discover what it all meant. Were they really talking about the hotel industry I’d already spent 12 years of my life working in?

I was in transition and I was miserable. Getting into the elevator (lift) one day during my second week I met a colleague who I’d known for a few years. He was genuinely excited to see me “How are you getting on?” he asked with enthusiasm, “Only 50 weeks till I can go home” I replied painfully, truthfully. He quickly exited at the next floor.

The things ‘they’ fail to tell you about the cultural differences between the UK and US are actually the ones it’s crucial to know, like:

+ Whilst we may watch many of the same programs on TV (telly), listen to similar music and wear similar clothes, those veneers disguise huge differences.

+ Communication is different and nuance is everything.

These things hit me straight between the eyes and had it not been for the insightfulness of a new boss, I may never have lasted out the year; I would have called time early and jumped on the next direct Northwest 44 back to LHR, my flat and familiarity.

New Boss realized that some of the pain I’d experienced during my painful first months had been caused by a complete overestimation of my ability to function as someone living in America. I was living and behaving the way I’d always done and my Britishness was holding me back, misunderstood and perceived to be a blunt instrument.

Cultural training was next on the agenda and what an extraordinary experience it was. I learned the despite speaking (roughly) the same language, my communication style was direct whereas the preferred style in the American Midwest where I was based, is indirect. I also learned that my thinking style is indirect and based on reflection whereas the preferred style of my colleagues was direct based on quick response and directional correctness.

After cultural training we all lived happily ever after…or something like that! My yearlong American adventure just celebrated its 19thyear! Both Kevin and I decided to stay in our swopped-to (swapped-to) countries long after the initial experiment was finished. We both realized there was so much more for us to learn than we could ever have anticipated.

Looking back, I’ve learned so many lessons but there are four big ones:

1. You are not in control of your life and destiny; once you start thinking you are – watch out.

2. If loved ones support you doing something that’s outside your comfort zone, really pay attention. It’s possible they see you bigger than your see yourself.

3. Sometimes the best and richest gifts arrive shrouded in misery and tears. Accept them anyway.

4. What’s made you successful in another place and time isn’t guaranteed to help you elsewhere and elsewhen. Broaden your approach before you have to.