Coming Alive is What We Are Meant to Do
Ken Carlson
Experienced Executive Coach and Leadership Trainer with a knack for working with Geeks; Specializing in Engineering, Science, Math, and Medical.
When I meet my clients for the first time, they often tell me their life story—at least a part of it. They highlight their career and where they are in this moment. Most of them come to coaching mostly satisfied with life—but they want a little bit more. They like to move from good to better or fine to thrilling… but generally they aren’t thinking about such things.
They are mostly focused on the next promotion, or learning how to be a better leader, or dealing with corporate politics.
After they share their story, I get a chance to tell them a 5-minute version of how I came to coaching and it goes something like this:
I got interested in leadership in my mid-20s because I had some terrible bosses. It just didn’t make sense to me that people could treat each other so poorly in the name of making a living. I wasn’t immune from treating people badly either (just so we’re clear).
I wanted to know how to do it better and be great leader. I left small companies in search of a big corporate job where I could lead big teams of people.
I did.
I had this quote on my desk and I read it every day:
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that because the world needs people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman.
I tried to be alive at work—in one of the most corporate corporations in the world. I mostly succeeded but then I got a coach and I noticed that if I did her job, I would be alive every day. I would get to make a difference with people every day—so I started doing coaching and training in 2008 and left the corporate world in 2009. Now I get to share stories like these:
He's on fire. My client. He's having one real conversation in his life after another. He went to a big event last week intending to be bold and deeply connecting in all of his conversations. He was. He's becoming more alive.
She's excited and scared and happy and worried. My client. For the first time in her life, she's giving herself permission to be herself; to be a jumble of emotions. The phrase "of course I am" is passing her lips and it feels good to simply be. She's becoming more alive.
This is the real stuff of our lives. Suffering and affliction and beauty. It's real. It's all real. We gotta get at the real stuff if we want to come alive.
C.S. Lewis famously wrote about a bus load of people arriving to the outskirts heaven only to get back on the bus because they had no way of dealing with awesomeness in front of them. Their lives had been numbed at such a level that they couldn't bear the beauty.
We all have a strategy to avoid suffering. The good news is that it works. We can numb our lives, and we pretty much all do at some level. The bad news is that it works and although we may miss out on the suffering, we miss the beauty too.
We might as well be dead.
I think there's a better way: real conversations about the real stuff in your life. Stir up that aliveness that is wanting to come out of you. I'm convinced that the more real conversations we have, the more alive we will be.
I challenge you to start a real conversation with someone today. A simple question will usually do it--like: Where have you seen beauty in your life today? Or Where have you seen suffering in your life today? Warning, real conversations might become life altering.
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Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library
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So many of us feel stuck in our life and can't move into that place of discomfort to get at the "real stuff" in our lives. Being brave is facing it, having the conversations, finding the words, the images, the emotions, to stir up aliveness and truly LIVE our LIFE. Howard Thurman's quote is on my wall now too. Thanks for sharing it.
Women's Health Coach | Speaker | Presenter | Executive Wellness Coaching ? Helping Women to Stay Fit, Maximize Their Energy & Reach Their Goals
4 个月Once you start having uncomfy conversations they become more natural to have. We have one life to live may as well enjoy it.