Comfort in routine

There are moments in our lives that provide a surge of pain and emotion that you can never comprehend. The most common being that of the loss of a loved one. Grieving can be a painful, and often lonely journey. It is the price that we pay for loving the people we care about, and the more we love, the more that pain cuts deep. Most interestingly, in these dark and painful times, people learn so much about themselves that it very much can feel like a new chapter in your story has just arrived.

The new chapter can be a very scary prospect, with so many questions: what is next? could I have done something different? Is there more to life than this? In this time of questioning, people may find themselves exploring a whole never-seen-before side to life, that can change perspectives, lead to significant reflection, and completely change the path of their future forever.

The new chapter offers a new start; it offers a time to realign those "bucket list" items, and a time to get into a brand new routine.

Routine, can be more important than people give it credit for. Routine, can be a savior. Routine, it can provide comfort. Routine, it can shape the new normal. A normal that tethers you as a person to your being. A sense of self that without it, you can be left wandering through the valley of the shadow of death. Routine, for me, provides a level of escapology.

The problem with routine is its fragility. What if that routine changes or there are unexpected events that potentially can jeopardize that routine? You lose that tether, and you lose the comfort of this new "normal" you have created. It is a reminder that the only thing that is consistent in life is change.

Maybe a better comfort is developing the ability to "expect the unexpected". As such, no matter what life throws at you, you can be prepared.

But how do you prepare for the unexpected? It starts with a mindset shift. Instead of fearing change, embrace it as an opportunity. This doesn’t mean that every change will be positive. Some changes will challenge you to your core. However, approaching life with an open mind and a willingness to adapt can make those challenges less daunting. Flexibility becomes your shield and adaptability your sword.

In practical terms, this means building resilience. Resilience isn’t about being impervious to pain but learning how to bounce back when life knocks you down. It’s about knowing that setbacks are temporary and that you have the tools within you to move forward. Tools like leaning on your support network, practicing mindfulness, setting small achievable goals, and, importantly, being kind to yourself during the process.

Grief, though heavy and often overwhelming, can also bring clarity. It strips away the noise of life and makes you focus on what truly matters. It’s in these moments that many people find their purpose or realign with their passions. The pain becomes a catalyst for growth, and the darkness, ironically, illuminates what is most important.

In my own journey, I’ve come to realize that loss isn’t about forgetting or moving on; it’s about carrying the essence of your loved ones forward as you continue to live. Their legacy can inspire you to take risks, to dream bigger, and to love even more deeply. Loss teaches us that life is fleeting and precious, and it’s a call to live intentionally.

So, as you face your own new chapter, remember this: you are stronger than you think, and life's challenges, while painful, have the power to shape you into someone extraordinary.

Embrace the new chapter, however difficult it may seem. Allow it to teach you, to grow you, and to redefine you. Because even in the face of unimaginable pain, there is hope, and there is life waiting to be lived.

In Loving Memory of Marie Ross