The Comfort of Kith and Kin.

“We are each other’s gurus.”

This became a constant refrain sometime in the eighties, having rapidly developed legs not only as a potential and more accessible resource, but also perhaps through the backpedalling of some individuals after untold years misspent at the feet of a 'suboptimal' oracle.

?“We are each other’s gurus,”

Both those with chronic pain and their family and friends all experience reticence, challenges and overthinking when discussing pain. Obviously, this group has a genuine concern, but they dread appearing invasive with their questions. What exactly constitutes too much? Patients, on the other hand, often feel drained by repetition of their narrative, and predictably grapple with the same question.

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But family and friends have a deeper knowledge and understanding of the person and will likely remain part of their social environment. Mostly they seek reassurance but more importantly they want to maintain the communication lines, complications notwithstanding. ?What we often see from those in pain is frequent or serial refusal of invitations based on their mistaken belief that they cannot possibly add value to any social event when they are not fun, something that is simply baseless.

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Episodic reminders that change itself is the most constant and dependable feature of life, are effective when delivered at the ‘right’ time or by the ‘right’ person. This can provide an alternative voice to the often bleak self-assessment that is offered, and remind the person of their past successes and of who they are. The recall of previous, happier times can be uplifting especially when accompanied by a rush of associated emotions that are currently experienced less often.

?Never underestimate the tranquilizing effect of another’s empathic ear..

Never underestimate the tranquilizing effect of another’s empathic ear and the balm of even modest but heartfelt positive nudges over time.

#empathy #lifeaschange #painnarrative

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www.trevorcampbellmd.com

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