A comedy of errors (in two acts)

Prologue: ? Two kingdoms, both alike in dignity, ? In fair Europa, where we lay our scene, ? From ancient gold to modern crypto-spree, ? Where civil hands make civil coffers lean.?

Act I: Brown’s Bottom Scene: London, 1999. The Royal Treasury.?

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF LONDON (Gordon Brown), Chancellor of the Exchequer?

BROWN: What ho! This gold doth weigh our vaults too heavy, ? Methinks ‘twould shine more bright in a foreign hand. ? Let’s sell it quick, while price is low and bevy, ? For surely gold’s value shall ne’er expand!?

Narrator: And lo, 401 tonnes of gold did fly, ? At twenty-year lows, a mere $275 per ounce. ? $3.5 billion raised, a sum to make one sigh, ? When future prices would this choice denounce.?

CHORUS: O “Brown's Bottom,” aptly named indeed! ? Both market’s low and posterior to kick. ? A legacy of loss, a glutton’s greed, ? A tale to make e’en Midas feel right sick.?

Act II: Lindner’s Low Scene: Berlin, 2024. The Bundesfinanzministerium.?

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF DEUTSCHLAND (Christian Lindner), Finance Minister?

LINDNER: What’s say south Saxon son? Seized crypto from a pirate’s hoard? ? This digital gold must not our coffers clog. ? I’ll sell it swift, lest values be ignored, ? And prove myself a true financial dog!?

Narrator: 50,000 Bitcoin, a fortune vast, ? Sold at $54,000, a princely sum. ? But lo! The price did rise so hard and fast, ? To $65,000, leaving Lindner glum.?

CHORUS: Alas, poor Lindner, we knew him well, ? A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. ? $270 million lost in this fiscal hell, ? Enough to buy Ephesus plus Greek isles, so fancy!? ?

Epilogue: ? Two ministers, so alike in deed, ? Their uncanny knack for loss takes the lead. ? We pity their errors, though pardon’s withheld, ? For coffers now empty where once riches dwelled.?

So ends our tale of fiscal comedy, ? Where timing’s all, and all’s sold hastily. ? Remember, dear friends, as you count your own gold, ? The follies of those who too quickly sold!?

Exeunt all, pursued by a bear (market)?

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