Come as you are

Generally speaking, your first course of action on Day 1 of a new job doesn’t involve communicating what you perceive to be your flaws. Instead, we’ve been conditioned to be professional, confident, and present the best version of ourselves at work – not just on the first day, but ideally every day (if you can swing it).

My kids have moved “up” to different classrooms within their school several times. Sometimes that is due to age, others it’s a function of space opening up. No matter the reason, starting in a new classroom brings with it several now familiar routines, including filling out the “all about me” sheet. This is essentially a questionnaire that asks parents to answer certain questions about their child, to better prepare their new teacher to educate and care for them. Questions cover everything from which toys your child likes, and if there is anything they are afraid of, to what your child struggles with and where they need support. As the parent, it is easy to complete these forms as we generally know the answers off the top of our heads. We fill the form out, return it to school the next day and truthfully never think about it again.

What makes this exercise simple is not just that I know the answers, but that there is no reason not to share this information with my child’s teacher. Clearly, they are asking for this information in order to create a better learning environment for my child and to have a sense of what they are walking into as they form their own relationship. I would never dream of withholding this information, as that would only disadvantage my child. On the contrary, I list in great detail his likes and dislikes, “triggers”, what works to de-escalate tantrums, and how he likes to communicate.

Cute, but what does this have to do with the workplace, or Resource Management for that matter? Imagine being a manager and getting handed a detailed one pager on each of your new hires’ strengths, developmental areas, preferred communication style…etc., completed by the people who know them best in the world. That would be pretty powerful. But we don’t do this do we?

Somewhere along the line we lose this openness. And the question is – Why?

We are so fearful of being viewed as anything less than the ultimate professional that we choose to (falsely) present ourselves as this every. single. time. rather than saving ourselves (and our employers) a lot of work in the long run. And many might say, with good reason - show all your cards and you run the risk of being viewed unfavorably, especially when the working relationship is new.

Picture this – I walk into preschool with my 3 year old and proceed to inform his new teacher that my son is in fact, the perfect specimen – surpassing all physical and intellectual milestones for his age, his natural biological rhythm is exactly in line with the school’s schedule of daily events, and his temperament is even-keel at all times, never cries. If you know anything at all about toddlers, you’d immediately recognize this as ridiculous and irrational. But, isn’t it also illogical to put your new boss in the position of having to figure out from scratch what all of your issues are? (and yes, dear reader, you too have issues).

That said, the individual employee cannot be accused of falling into this pattern without having been primed. The fact is there is seemingly unending pressure contributing to this behavior - mass layoffs, vague promotion criteria, toxic workplace behavior, insecure managers – shall I go on?

What we can collectively benefit from is a reevaluation of how employers can create an environment of psychological safety such that their employees are incentivized to shed the disguises they hide behind, not just because it is the right thing to do, but because doing so has a direct impact on efficiency, retention, and the attraction of talent.

If you could peel away the pressure that holds us back from sharing – what do you wish your boss knew about you? And leaders – what insights would you love to know about your employees up front?

Christine Robinson is a wife, mother of three wild boys and stepmom to three awesome kids. (Yes, six in total!)

As a Latina, working mother, and community activist, Christine is passionate about empowering women and underrepresented groups in the workplace.?She's spent her professional career managing supply and demand and most recently serving as the Head of Resource Management for one of the world’s largest CPA Advisory firms.?

Christine enjoys speaking with diverse audiences and has been featured in the New York Times, on podcasts, LinkedInLive events, and on college campuses. She has an MS in Human Resource Management from Fordham University, a BS in Sociology from Bowling Green University, and is a certified Resource Management Professional.