Combat loneliness by building self-esteem: here’s how! ??

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness.?

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.

Being alone can be a wonderful thing! Think about that blissful state you experience when you finally get an evening to yourself without the demands of the outside world.?

Just you. Being you. Doing you…That kind of alone can feel awesome.?

Loneliness, on the other hand, doesn’t feel so hot. It can leave you feeling empty, "far away," and even doubting your self-worth.?

The emotion can be just as overwhelming in a room full of people when you don't feel like you belong as it does when you’re having dinner at home with your partner and they’re distant or distracted. And it can certainly strike when you’ve been holed up in your house for too long without enough human contact. I can relate to that last one 1,000%!

To be clear, there’s nothing inherently wrong with feeling loneliness. It’s a normal part of the human experience and something we all encounter from time to time. Feeling lonely doesn’t always have a rhyme or reason, and it doesn’t always make sense to us or others.

It’s when loneliness becomes chronic that it can develop into an issue. A full 3 in 5 American adults feel lonely, which is strongly linked to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. And, oftentimes, we do things that might be considered unhealthy to make ourselves feel a little bit less lonely – maybe we stay up way too late watching TV, eat or drink to excess – or we wind up in codependent relationship after codependent relationship.?

But you needn’t drown in your feelings of loneliness. There are effective and proven ways to overcome them, and it starts with: Identifying what you need and building the confidence to act on it.?

This is the first steps to boosting your self-esteem and improving your ability to connect with others in a meaningful and healthy way.?

Today’s Quick Confidence tips are dedicated to building confidence, so you can feel less lonely!

Quick Confidence Tips to Feel Less Lonely:

1. Embodied. Take a break from screens. Oftentimes, we distract ourselves from our real feelings by scrolling through social media or following our favorite characters on TV. Consuming content for hours on end can make us feel less lonely in the moment, but leaves us feeling unfulfilled (and more lonely) in the long run. Constantly looking at pictures of people happily spending time together and living their best lives will only make you feel like you’re missing out. It’s time to put down the device and live your own life! If organizing a big to-do with a bunch of people feels intimidating right now, then set a small goal to step outside your comfort zone and ask one friend (or maybe someone new?) to go for a coffee or a walk in the park.
2. Interpersonal. Say ‘Yes!’ to more activities with friends. Are you enabling your loneliness without realizing it? Are you making up excuses for not being able to attend happy hour with your co-workers week after week? I know I've been guilty of this *plenty of times*. Time for a self check in: Ask yourself, "When was the last time I accepted an invite?" If you can’t remember, maybe it’s time to say YES to the next one.? Being around people sometimes takes practice, but like everything else you start with baby steps. You don’t need to stay out until 3 am, just go for an hour or two!
3. Mindset. Read up on the work of Dr. Marisa G. Franco. Psychology Today Contributor and Psychologist, Dr. Marisa G. Franco says that good friendships are the key to living a longer life, taking the edge off depression, flourishing as a single person, and revitalizing a marriage. Unfortunately, most adults don’t seek out new friendships or don’t know how to. Marisa’s work makes starting friendships doable. And I can attest to her methods because I have applied her advice and benefitted. Her book, Platonic , due out in September, draws on excellent psychological research to provide a simple guide for making, maintaining, and strengthening friendships.?

Have you overcome your own cycle of loneliness? I would love to hear about how you’re coping with these feelings. Drop a comment below if you could use some encouragement from our community. Remember – here, you are never alone!????

The more you build meaningful relationships with your colleagues, managers, direct reports and clients, the better off you’ll be professionally... and personally.

But how do you do it, especially when many of us are working remotely? My LinkedIn Learning course shows you how to initiate, nurture, and maintain healthy connections (and AVOID relationships rooted in gossip and complaining): Click here to get the course . As a LinkedIn Learning author, I may be compensated if you make a purchase.