THE COLORS OF GENDER, DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION

When you have a chance to work in a diverse, multi-cultural/racial environment (should we just say 'human' environment?), you are presented with a gift of time to observe, engage in reflections generally and personally and you get to see how diversity issues play out in real-time. What you may not get to see or own is answers to all of the issues observed.

1.      Are some cultures really loud? Or it is just an individual habit? Is it a good or bad habit when some persons cannot just have conversations with their colleagues in hushed tones but have to spill their guts out for all to hear? It is then more irksome when the conversation is in a language not considered official workplace language. It is an uncomfortable feeling when you need to concentrate on work and all that is ringing in your head in a 'weird' and loud conversation going on around you. To be honest, on my part, there is immediate irritation towards such persons. I start to question the tribe/race they are from and the kind of upbringing they must have experienced. Perhaps, if they have been exposed to the best of education and etiquette, they will know better. In some respect, the social class system and the 'differentiation' it presents or said to present, is also playing at the back of my mind. What do you do in such loud situations? Call the colleague to order or just harbour resentment especially when the team leads are not making an issue of it. In my moment of fairness, I reason that these persons do not know they are doing anything 'wrong'. It is perhaps a way of life they are used to. A socialization process that has imbued in them the freedom to be loud. Then, I ask, is there reasonableness in learning the way of life/culture of the new environment you find yourself in? Be it a new country, city or a workplace? At the underbelly of racism are the concerns that 'foreigners' are not 'conforming' to the way of life of the host country, rather they are introducing cultures that are upturning the order of things. There are many sides to the debate. All must be heard. I think we are able to appreciate every voice on the table when we understand that each person is seeking freedom, security, relevance, fulfilment and love. None of these can happen without fairness, consideration for another, tolerance, empathy, issue-based conversations and the perspective that we are all human and all want the same things out of life.

2.      This conversation happens from time to time:

Colleague: "Where are you from?"

Me: "Nigeria"

Colleague: "Wow! You do not look or behave like a Nigerian though. And you do not talk like one. Perhaps you did not grow up in the Country?"

Me: "Pray tell, how does a Nigerian look or behave?"

Colleague: (Squirming..) "Ehm, you are just refined kind of unlike some Nigerians I have heard of and met."

How do you even relate to this line of thought? Should I call it profiling? Initially, I would get defensive and in some cases laugh it off. Now, I make it a teachable moment for the individual. We have to learn to see people as they are without the bias of color, gender, ethnicity, religion, country of birth and all whatnot. If I am sincerely honest, it is a very difficult thing to do. It is a struggle I face from time to time myself. In spite of all I know and promote about gender, diversity and inclusion, I find myself falling short. Imagine a scenario where I needed to buy a used item on an online market place. I unconsciously become biased against certain persons when I see their names and an assumption of their country of birth; a conclusion that the items they are selling may not be well preserved as claimed, considering the narrative about their 'uncleanliness'. I have been proven wrong. It is about the individual and not their tribe. I am ashamed of myself when these thoughts creep in but I make sure to detoxify myself from time to time. How did we learn to profile others? What we read? What we heard in the news? What we were fed by our parents/families as we grew up? A bad experience with one or two persons that we erroneously generalize to their community? We bring it to the workplace. It promotes misunderstanding as the other person is not given a fair chance from the get-go. They are perceived and discriminated against for something they are not or did not do. Just guilty by association. How does a progressive workplace deal with this? Are team leads/managers even aware that the conflicts arising within their teams are rooted in gender, diversity and inclusion concerns?

3.      A colleague whispered to me, "Are you aware that one of the persons who clean the ladies‘ toilet is actually a transgender – a male-female. I am so uncomfortable and afraid as I can see his penis showing through despite the outward feminine facade". No, I was not aware. Now I am aware. I have met her in the toilet a couple of times, touching up her makeup. I did not make anything of it. She is obviously a recent hire. Perhaps, the company living up to its gender, diversity and inclusion creed. It should be applauded. No one should be denied employment on the basis of their sexual orientation. Human; that is who we all are. But can I deny the concerns of that colleague and many others who may be whispering and not speaking up for management to hear? This is where the intricacies of gender, from a non-binary perspective, comes in. When my female colleague goes into that bathroom, she acts/does everything in there like she is in-company. She could remove her blouse momentarily, change her sanitary towels, adjust her underwears etc. The thought that another person in the room owns male genitalia, notwithstanding their gender preference as female, changes the ambience in the room. While one may look at life from the perspective of a female, the other cannot be persuaded that she is one of us. Everyone is on tentacles and uncomfortable but no one is talking about it perhaps for fear of sounding like a bigot? How do we define inclusion? For one or for all? How do we make one fit into the whole and how do we make the whole embrace the one without leaving a crack? How do we make the one fit into the whole without making them look like an appendage or constantly shed light on their 'difference'? How do we support those that are differently able in the workplace without being patronising of them? There is no one answer but engaging employees on these issues, using multiple medium and platforms might be a good start. It helps no one when we try to promote gender, diversity and inclusion and the employees have no idea what it means, how it shapes the workspace and how it affects their 8 to 5.

4.      Sexual harassment – female to male: Seems like nothing until we ask that the role be reversed. Female employees seeking attention from a particular male employee. Catcalls, winks, love shape hand gestures as they move around his duty post. One or two go further to tell him how fine-looking he is and how very single they are. You can literally see the discomfort on the face and the body gesture of the young man. He is trying to be polite and laughs it off. Other staff around look on and you can hear some male staff urging him on to pick a prey. It may all seem so innocent except that it did not stop as one day of fun in the office, it was continuous barging. We may say it was harmless but was it? Do these actions fit the description of what it means to be sexually harassed in the workplace? Some may even come up with the usual gender stereotyping that the young man enjoys the attention and is not a case of sexual harassment. To think that companies specifically warn about sexual harassment against the female folk and sometimes provide reporting platforms. Who do the men report this unwanted attention to? Are the sexual harassment policies gender-neutral? Harassment issues are about power play and I guess we imagine that the female in the workplace is mostly powerless. Perhaps not. We need to comprehend the dimensions of power; the ‘advantage’ of women being perceived as victims is power in itself. No? It seems like we cannot be the oppressor; our frame and status in society does not support that narrative. These issues are debatable but ultimately fairness is a keyword that must be on the table.

Ok, so these are observations and my personal reflections. I bet there are many more things we see that makes us question gender, diversity and inclusion realities. I do not have a fixed mindset about any of these. I am learning, growing and changing with all of the observations. It is more important to me that we treat one another as humans in the workplace; with respect, goodwill and solid corporate cultures that places a premium on each and every staff. A learning and growing organization will ensure there are platforms and tools to address these issues sincerely and not a ‘diversity and inclusion unit’ as an add-on fad.

Feel free to share your own observations.