Colliding with life.

I had a busy Saturday morning of getting up early to get to step class at 8 am. I had all these perfectly laid out plans and it better play out as I planned otherwise I will be irritated! Had to make my breakfast and be out of my house by 10 am. I did not want to get caught up in too much traffic going to Saints, which is a nonprofit organization that sells second-hand goods and collects money for animals, to pick up items I bid for online. After that, donate blood in order to feel good about myself that I did my good deed for the week. Then to a friend for coffee and get home to start my blog. Whilst writing my blog have a nice glass of red wine and make an early dinner as I am trying to not eat after 6 pm.

I am sure you figured out it did not go according to plan. Step class, breakfast and Saints worked out pretty well. At SANBS (South African National Blood Service) my blood pressure was sky-high. The nurse told me to breathe, lie back and even tried three times and on both arms to get a lower reading to no avail. Back in my car, I am now fighting with Source as I refuse to take bloody blood pressure medication. Why is it so high and how can I fix this spiritually? I know it is something manifesting in my body but what is it? My dear friend had the audacity to not answer my voice note or pick up my call. So things are going wrong now and I am irritable as it is the second hit to my perfectly laid-out plan. I am now on 911 and very aware that I need to find a better feeling fast and let go of this irritation station I am lingering on.

How to fix it

This is where the tekkie, a South African version of a sneaker, hits the tar, my friend. You cannot fix it and only accept it and allow it. This video with Alan Watts is powerful in the Art of Not Forcing. I had to listen to it over and over again for it to sink in. He refers to life as sailing and not rowing. That statement took me a while. In life, you have to work at it and hard. Sailing is for the rich and rowing is for the poor. Jip that is what I figured out as I am creating here and letting you have a sneak peek at my messed-up thinking. Once I was safely tucked away in my haven called home I undressed to fit my newly acquired items. Loved how they fitted the new body, as I lost 13 kilograms. I am on this road of the body and she has to start following this ever-changing and powerful mind.

My mood started lifting and before I realized I was calm and in a good space. I was sailing and not rowing lol. Suddenly good things started happening again. Another friend called to find out what I am up to and she invited me to go with her to the gym for a sauna session. At first, I resisted and wanted to say no but the little voice inside of me prompted me to say yes. This is colliding with life. Yes, you guessed it. I had a roaring time with another friend and had so many laughs and yes I lost my temper in a traffic circle en route to the gym. I swear people do not know how to use a damn traffic circle. A story for another day as I believe I am not the only one struggling with this. That little experience we unpacked in the sauna and it made me realize how something so small has such a huge impact on all areas of my life. I loved how my friend laughed at me and I realized how absurd it is for me to carry on the way I did. Emphasizing that you cannot enjoy the good if you do not experience the bad. We need the contrast people!

Conclusion

Let the oars go. Stop working so hard at life and start figuring out how to sail and not row. I do not want to sound like a pastor or priest but if things don't work out it is because there is something better in store for you. It is truly what you make of a good or bad experience. Like my friend, Sisanda always says - Extend grace to yourself. We are so quick to be kind to others and also forgiving but do we extend that loving hand to ourselves?

Know that you are loved by others and believe that you are worthy of your own care and kindness. You are perfect just the way you are. Warts and all. See yourself through a loved one's eyes and if you are not sure ask them to remind you. We all forget at times and a kind reminder is good for the soul. Trust me when I say that they will be honored to remind you of how special you are to them and the impact you have in their lives.

Reminder

You are, right now, where you need to be.