College Dropout... Now What?

When we send our kids off to a new chapter, we anticipate that they will complete the chapter. That they will graduate and their academic credentials will open doors beyond what we have experienced.?

We began to romanticize that the money we’ve invested will have a compounded return. That they will be financially positioned to stand on their own two-feet.?

And that we will soon brag and boast about their accomplishments (and possibly get some really nice holiday gifts and random acts of kindness - at their expense).

If this is you, I'm not judging you one bit. I admittedly would want the same thing.

But while I have your attention, I want you to repeat after me…

• “I release the plans I have made for (insert student name).?
• “I have given the best counsel I can provide.”
• “Because I've given my best, I've been elevated from cockpit crew to cabin crew.”
• “(Insert student name) is equipped to make the best decisions and should they need help, I’ll eagerly be there to support.”

I wanted to take a moment to validate the role you’ve played in the life of the student because sometimes we directly relate the decision making of the people we love to our value.

Now that we’ve gotten you out the way, let’s talk about the student.

I want you to put yourself in your student’s shoes.?

How might they be feeling? Do they have a safe place to express those feelings? Could they use a sounding board or encouragement?

I hope your answer to the last question is YES.

Here are three questions you can ask to support student(s) during this time of transition:

How are you feeling about your decision?

This is the hard part about loving others unconditionally. We literally have to suspend our own judgment and accept others for who they are without shaming or guilting them for not meeting the expectations we project onto them.

If you genuinely want to know how they feel, this question will require you to surrender your thoughts and feelings and live in the “moment” with the student.?

Ask this question when you can give your undivided attention and your emotions are grounded.

Ask this question and just listen. Fight the urge to add your opinion.

How Can I Help ?

When our focus is on fixing or assisting in problem solving, we assume the type of help that the other person may need.?

I invite you to just ask your student how they would like to be helped.

The student may not initially know what help they need. If they do not have an immediate reply, encourage them to critically think about what they need.

If you’re unsure of how to help, here are some interdependent ways to be supportive using small powerful actions:

• Introduce them to someone in their field of interest
• Take them to a trade show in their industry
• Learn more about their interest so you can better support in finding opportunities and advocating for them
• Reach out to your network to inquire about any relevant professional development, internships, and trainings that they can consider

What is Your Dream

I think we do a good job at consuming the thoughts and ideas of others. I think we can do a better job at creating thoughts and ideas of our own. I think we can do a greater job of helping students to create and live out the thoughts and ideas of their own.?

By asking what is your dream we are actively inviting students to think about what they want.?

While their answer might be small or it may even be shallow, it’s one that they constructed.?

What better time (then during a pivot) to inquire about what would give them a feeling of fulfillment.

Some of my greatest accomplishments I can trace back to a conversation someone had with me. Words are so powerful.

In moments of frustration, doubt, and discouragement - words can inspiring and uplifting.

Use your words to support your student during their time of transition.

If I can be of help in supporting them in devising a new plan, let a girl know. That's actually a superpower of mine.

Shoot me an email at [email protected]