College Decision Made... He said "YES", *finally*!!

I remember back to my son's freshman year of high school and we would have minor discussions on where he would like to go to college. I say minor because anyone who has had a teenager, especially boys, knows you are only allowed about two, maybe three, questions before the wall comes up and the "I'm-not-listening-anymore shoulder shrugs" replace their normal one-word answers of yes, no, good or "Idunno". I can also remember thinking, "it's fine, we've got time, we'll figure this out". No worries, right?! Well fast forward a very quick 3+ years and here we are about to face high school graduation in less than two months, and I am asking this same question, "where do you think you will go to college?". Well, my famous "no worries" line is no longer cutting it and I am downright anxious to get things in motion. But why doesn't he seem to care more? (Insert one million thoughts that now go through my mind on why he does not seem to care. Here is a sample: Is he ready for this? Is he not happy where he got accepted? Is his girlfriend telling him to do something else? Is he failing something and in jeopardy of not graduating? Has he changed his mind completely on college? The worried mom list goes on for miles.)

As a college consultant I walk students through this process (and their parents too). It is easy – most times - for me to see what the right answer for the student is on where they should go. But as a consultant and as a transition coach, I let them figure out that answer. I do not tell them where to go unless they straight up ask for my professional opinion and even then, I present a holistic picture view instead of a narrowed-in view based on a few good points. I ask them powerful, open-ended questions that make them think about their future and options in front of them. "What's your biggest fear of going to XYZ school?"; "What is the best thing that could happen by going here?" or "What does your intuition tell you?". Some kids can get overwhelmed with choices when the acceptances are all staring them down like they are about to walk to the altar and marry someone "forever". Do not get me wrong, it is a big decision on where to go, but I will tell you like I tell them, "you are allowed to change your mind if something ends up not aligning with your values and what you should be ultimately happy with". There is no such thing as a mistake or wrong answer here. You make the best choice with the options you have. Once you are at college; it is then up to you to make of it what you can and want to do. BE CURIOUS!! Go out and explore what is around you. Go meet your professors before classes start. Go through the freshman orientation with wide-open eyes and not looking down at your phone the whole time. And remember it is not always going to go your way or to your liking ALL the time. Getting homesick does not mean you made a bad choice. Not liking your roommate after the first couple weeks does not mean you made a bad choice. Not liking a professor or a class does not mean you made a bad choice.

Thankfully, my son finally made a choice a couple weeks ago - he said YES!! I felt like the mother-of-the-bride on the reality show where the bride finally says, "Yes To The Dress" after an exhaustive and drama filled search (relief and the need to drink some champagne was definitely in order for me too). But if you read my other article on the "College Waitlist Rollercoaster" you know he ended up saying YES to not one, but two schools!! The "second yes" is the ultimate yes and the school he will be attending come Fall. Why did my son end up choosing the second school over the first school? He was originally waitlisted at the second school and in this unprecedented year of college admissions; we were honestly doubtful of him getting in and/or off the waitlist. So, he accepted the first school; albeit not his first choice and hence why I am sure his feet were dragging on saying yes to begin with. But when the waitlist answer was removed, and it turned into a yes from the other college; you better believe he was ready to roll with a second and final yes. So, parents if you are ever doubting why your child has said yes to a certain school, let me tell you why my son ultimately chose his school. He has five - yes FIVE of his high school friends attending the same college next fall (it was important to him that he already knew others at a school with over 18,000 students) and he is excited that they have a good football team. Yep, that is it! All the other stuff does not matter to him as I point out the internships, the study abroad programs, and all the other exciting opportunities there as a professional like myself gets excited about. It is okay though, we’ve got time, right? No worries!! (Done in my best cheerleading inner voice as I now go online to buy college swag for the second "yes" school.)

Thank you for following me on this new adventure of life where my professional world collides with my personal world and my oldest (okay, us too!) completes these college milestones. And hey, if this kid is not enough of a story for you, then I have another one just coming up the ranks as a freshman in high school next year. But seriously, stay tuned as we explore the "human side" of what it is like to go to college (with your first!) and where I will throw in some humor, seriousness, and professional jargon for good measure too. Stay sane my soon-to-be college parents! We got this!