The College Crunch Times Five: What Have We Learned?

For the first time, this fall, all five of our daughters are in college.?Five children in college at the same time – at five different schools, in four different states!?

While we are not quite sure how we feel about our much quieter nest, we’ve learned a few things that I wanted to share, as I know many parents are facing transitions this time of year.?

Here are my top reflections:

1.????Go easy on them.?I’ve probably had 10 different jobs in as many organizations, and I selected my first internship because it was air-conditioned and they gave me a lab coat.?While college classes, majors and even internships are all amazing opportunities, there are a lot of choices now – so many more than when most of us had to make these decisions.?It can be hard, but I’d encourage you to try not to add to the stress they’re already feeling.

2.????Be comfortable with change.?There really isn’t a well-defined path to or through college and it often includes a few twists and turns along the way.?Our girls have changed majors, concentrations and even one school, but now is the time for them to try new things.?To consider a new major or minor, take some new classes, try it all out.?It’s much easier to pivot at this point.?If it’s not a match, take the learnings and move on.

3.????Remember that everyone is different.?While that may seem obvious, it’s worth repeating.?Each of our girls have different passions and interests, and needed to make their own choices, based on what is best for them.?Let’s also apply our “hybrid” work learnings to college – maybe it’s a mix of living at home, commuting, being on-campus, or maybe even studying abroad, but it will be – and should be – different for everyone.

4.????Leverage technology as much for personal connections as we have for work.?If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that we can work, and learn, from wherever we are.?Our daughters took virtual classes from home, and while I know they missed being with their friends, it did offer us some bonus time, home together as a family, that I wouldn’t trade for anything.?Now, I look forward to lots of group texts and frequent FaceTimes.

5.????Last, but certainly not least, consider how your own connections and network – both professional and personal – can help your kids learn and grow.?This summer, we were lucky enough to have two of our daughters intern at the 辉瑞 site in Pearl River, New York, where I started my career.?They worked with people I know and trust, and they received some amazing career and life advice in the process.?Getting to have lunch with them, every once in a while, was a nice bonus too.?

If you’re navigating a change with your kids, at any age, this fall, I wish you luck, patience and hopefully some peace.?I take great comfort in knowing that wherever our girls may be, we will always be their biggest fans, and they can always count on our help, support and guidance (whether they like it or not…).