College Admissions is Like Tinder

August is just around the corner, and we all know what that means: College admissions season is nearly upon us!

But before we get sucked into the yearly media cycle focusing on the ever-decreasing acceptance rates at “highly rejective” colleges (h/t Akil Bello ), let’s step back and think about the real goal. This process isn’t about getting into the “best” school, or at least it shouldn’t be. This process is about finding a match between college and student so that the student can grow, thrive, complete a degree, and exit college as a well-developed human being.

Basically, college admissions is like Tinder.

Students put up a profile and hope their favorite colleges will swipe right on them. But what if they don’t? The colleges are looking for particular qualities that may vary from year to year. We call these “institutional priorities”—the goals a college might have in mind as they select the next incoming class. Just as a potential date might swipe right on a good match partner, the colleges admit the students who exhibit the qualities they seek.

So should students manipulate their applications to appear more attractive to certain colleges? Well, let’s keep going with this Tinder analogy. Should people Photoshop their profile pictures on Tinder in hopes of catching a date? As soon as they meet in person, the ruse will be over. A match based on a misleading profile is unlikely to last.

Similarly, a student who poses on a rowing machine to gain admittance to USC as a coxswain but is not actually a rower is unlikely to survive closer scrutiny once on campus.

OK, that Varsity Blues example is extreme, but think about these milder application manipulations:

A student who, for example, applies to a less popular major just to gain admission is unlikely to happily persist for four or more years in that major. It’s more probable that the student will change majors (possibly requiring a transfer between schools as well) or drop out of college entirely.

A student who requires so much assistance with the personal statement that the essay is no longer truly their own may not be a good match for a college that requires strong writing skills. If the student can’t write the personal statement independently, how will they ever write essays for their college classes?

It’s not all about getting that first date, or gaining acceptance to a particular college. That’s only the first step. If the goal is a lasting partnership, both sides have to match honestly.

Do you really want to date someone who thinks the “real you” isn’t all that great? Maybe when someone swipes left on your profile, it’s good for you, too.

So before you let those reports of single-digit acceptance rates get you down, step back and look at the big picture. Students need to have the freedom to explore their genuine interests and represent themselves honestly (but enthusiastically!) on the college application.

Then find compatible colleges and fall in love with one that loves you back.