Collecting Dots: Part 5 - The Importance of Responding (vs. Reacting)

This week’s Collecting Dots article is a bit special, as I’m joined by my good friend and media industry veteran, Ali Dib. We’re taking two angles in exploring the importance of “responding” (vs reacting) in both personal and professional settings. 

Jason: Every quarter for the first part of my career, I had a similar piece of feedback on my reviews: that I wear my heart on my sleeve. At first, I thought that was a compliment. It clearly meant I was passionate and caring about my work, right? Wrong. It took me a long time to internalize that the feedback was because my default was to react to things -- decisions, processes, etc -- instead of letting that reaction sit, taking time to reflect, and finally, responding.

The last few years of my career, I’ve focused on responding, instead of reacting. I try to rarely give “hot takes” based on emails, decisions or anything else that comes across my desk. I do often document my initial reaction, but do not share it widely. I always ask myself: am I viewing this through a purely objective lens? Am I reading too much into this? Can I understand the intent and purpose of this? All of these questions are especially important to consider in a time of remote work where more communication is text-only, and lacks tone and in-person delivery. 

It’s important to listen to your gut and understand your reaction -- what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. But, do not act on it. Wait, take a few breaths and revisit it later. Give yourself (and your subconscious) time to reflect and contextualize. It will make all the difference. 

I’ve taken this experience and preach it to my team on a regular basis -- it’s something we actively work on every quarter. How do you and your teams practice this?

I’m passing the pen over to Ali Dib, who is going to share a bit about how this concept translates to personal experiences outside of work, and transcends all parts of life. 

Ali: Jason, thank you for bringing me into this discussion.  When you proposed the idea of Responding vs Reacting, it really struck a cord for me.  At work, I like to think that I rarely get rattled, staying even keeled through every situation.  I practice taking a deep breath with every event, good or bad, with every deal win and sadly with every loss, then react with a clear head.  I’ve transferred this to my personal life, and especially with my children.  My 14 year old daughter is an aspiring lacrosse goalie and during games you’ll find me on the defensive side of the field supporting her with a few words of encouragement.  After every play she’s involved in, a big save, a great clear and sometimes giving up a goal, I yell the same thing to her every time, “What is the most important shot?” and she’ll often yell back, “THE NEXT ONE”.  That one statement allows her to clear her head and focus on the task at hand, preparing for the next shot, the next play and being the best that she can be with a clear head.

So the next time something great happens to you at work, the next time something bad happens to you at work...take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What’s the most important shot/email/conversation/engagement?” and if you say, “The Next One”...well then I’d say you have the mental make-up of a bad-ass lax goalie :)