The Cold Cuts Of Cold Calling

Do you like sandwiches? If the answer is yes, you’re probably already an amazing cold caller.

If the answer is no… please feel free to unconnect with me on LinkedIn.

Here are a few thoughts on cold calling that I’ve learned from my love of cold cuts...

Have A Big Appetite

Look down at your hands and think to yourself, “Is this an appropriate time to be eating a cold-cut sandwich?” If the answer is yes, it’s probably also an appropriate time to be making cold calls.

Are you eating a corned-beef reuben for breakfast? You can probably be making cold calls.

Prosciutto with tomato, mozzarella, basil and a hint of olive oil for lunch? You can probably be making cold calls.

Are you planning on eating pastrami on rye for dinner? Well, executives usually stay late, so it would probably be a good idea to make some calls. Also... throw some mustard on that pastrami. We're not animals.

Are you sneaking to the fridge for some one-off salami slices at 2am? Well… it might not be the greatest time to make cold calls. But, to be honest, you probably shouldn’t be eating the salami either.

What’s In It For Me?

If I was in the middle of a cold cut sandwich, and you walked up to me and asked me why I was eating it, I probably wouldn’t go into great detail about the pasteurization process behind the Swiss cheese, the mass animal husbandry process behind the brisket, or the history behind the Dutch Crunch roll.

My answer would probably be, “I don’t know… it’s tastes good, I like brisket, what else would I be eating? Turkey?”

That’s the same idea behind how I like to answer questions about what a piece of software does.

“It makes you money by [doing x]” or “it saves you money by [doing x]”.

No need to talk about how the code is built.

Talk about why it tastes good to the buyer.

Don’t Put Skittles In Your Prospect’s Sandwich

Tell me if you’ve been in the following situation: you’re over a friend’s house and someone offers you a sandwich (or maybe you're at a park... I don't know your social situations). You bite down and look at them, and as you’re chewing, you’re trying not to squirm because you know they’re looking at you.

You try to figure out what the hell is in this thing. Is it bologna with miracle whip and skittles???

You know that discomfort that you feel in that situation?

That’s the same discomfort that your prospect is probably feeling when you’re 25 minutes in to your call, and they still have no idea what your product does or what problem it solves.

Be clear. If you’re making a pastrami sandwich, you should know within the first 5 seconds that it’s pastrami. Same with prosciutto. Salami can be a little more tricky. But the point is: be clear. Let me reiterate: don’t put skittles in your prospect’s sandwich.

Three Meats… Max

There’s a deli in West Hartford, Connecticut called Delicacy that I used to go. They let you put as many meats as you wanted in a sandwich for $7.95. Most people chose one… maybe two. I realized that they put three slices of each meat in, no matter how many other meats there were. So… I usually ordered about eight different meats. You know, to get the most bang for my buck.

That’s the only time that it’s acceptable to put more than two or three meats in a sandwich.

If you go to most good delis and look at their menus, you’ll be hard pressed to find a sandwich (putting gimmicks aside) that have more than three meats. Why? Because the flavors contrast with each other. It starts to taste weird. Every bite is different.

The same rule applies when you list off benefits of your software solution. One or two… three at max.

Once you start listing 50 reasons why your prospect should take a meeting, he or she is too busy doing sudoku and eating their reuben to care.

Everyone Hates Turkey

Everyone hates turkey. Even if you like a turkey sandwich, I’d recommend looking at that sandwich closely (as well as your life decisions) and really wondering why you like that turkey sandwich. It’s probably not the turkey. It’s probably the mayo, tomatoes… maybe even the onions that the person put on the sandwich.

You’ve probably never ordered a straight up turkey sandwich at a deli counter, have you?

Well, the reason is because it’s bland and boring. It has no taste. No texture. There’s nothing to be excited about with turkey. It’s so watered down that it doesn’t have anything special.

The same rule applies when you’re speaking with a prospect. If you water down your pitch so much that it can apply to anybody at any company, then it loses all the flavor that gets people interested in speaking with you.

Just like it takes some extra effort to find the right cold cut to put in a sandwich, it takes that extra effort to find the right way to speak with your prospect. But, as long as it ain’t turkey, it’s worth that extra effort.

If this made you hungry, or you feel like talking about your cold calling process, let’s grab lunch sometime and see if I can help.

My favorite spot in the city is Miller’s on Polk, but I’m also partial to Deli Board in SOMA. There’s also a spot on Columbus - called Molinari’s - that has a great prosciutto sandwich. They don’t really have anywhere to eat… but Washington Square Park is nearby.