Colón's Corner: Five Goals for My?20s

Personal missions as they pertain to my young adulthood?

My twenties have been a roller coaster ride to this point. I’ve talked about that in different forms throughout the writings of Colón’s Corner. At this time of year, I find myself extra pensive. Not in a negative or worried way however. More so hopeful and eager actually.

I turned 23 last week. Grateful to have another year. I’m alive, I’m kicking, I’ll take it! That said, to this point my twenties have been a bit of a dud. The pandemic put a monkey wrench in many things and getting out and exploring the wide world around me was one of them. Fresh out of college in 2020, that was supposed to be the leap year for me. Instead, it was a year in the gulag for just about everyone. I don’t have the best home life, and I didn’t have a particularly happy childhood either so 2020 only further incentivized my need to get out and get on with my life.?

So here we are in 2023. Over the bull crap and yearning to make my mark, I have goals for this decade of my life. I’m single, no girlfriend yet, no desire to have one right now either (I’ve been around nothing but women my whole life and I need a break to recover my sanity), no pets, no debt, no ill relatives to look after, and definitely no kids. If there was ever a time to broaden my horizons, it’s now. With that said, here are the goals I’ve jotted down and will set out to have accomplished by the time I’m 30.?

1. Escape My Mom’s House/Get Apartment

Looking both short term and long term with my goals this is the first one that comes to mind. I need to get the hell out of my mom’s house. Can’t put it in clearer terms than that. Not for nothing but at 23 I think it’s time to leave the nest. While maybe meaning well, if I’m being completely honest, my mom is EXTREMELY overprotective.?

I was quite sick as a child which only exacerbated her tendency to be that way. The older and more independent I’ve gotten, the more we’ve unfortunately clashed with one another. She’s not one to budge on much, and if I had to guess, is having a lot of difficulty with the fact i’m no longer small. With my sister having already left the nest, she knows i’m soon to follow and she’s not happy about it. While I understand, one does get tired of having to ask permission to do practically everything.?

At my age it’s starting to feel embarrassing frankly and last summer, politely but firmly, I informed her I’d mentally had enough and wished to move on. She understood. Though she hasn’t been shy about expressing her worries.?

The solution? It’s coming soon. I’m making significant headway in my job search; I’ll elaborate more once I can secure the position, but it’s on the fast track which is great. Soon comes the paychecks, then the savings, and then one glorious day in the not-to-distant future, a security deposit on an apartment. It will happen, I’ll make sure of it.?

2. Get A?Car?

Another goal that will soon come to fruition. One of my biggest regrets is not getting my license when I turned 16. Colossal mistake on my end. I got it on my first try (come on you know I had to throw that in there!) when I was 20 smack dab in the middle of the pandemic. No car has followed yet. Money doesn’t grow on trees after all.?

I’m not a complex guy. I just would like to get around to my outings, appointments, and errands on my own schedule as opposed to someone else’s. I’ve got enough money put away now to get one in either May or June. At long last, I won’t have to operate on the time and pace of another.?

Though I have family and friends nice enough to take me to the places I need to go, I feel like a burden. They have their lives and agendas to lead and along I come to interrupt it. It’s not fair to them and I feel like a loser for it. I’m tired of this feeling and it’s served as the primary source of motivation to put together any money I could since 2020 to ultimately in my mind at least atone for it all. I don’t care what type of car it is, if it gets me from Point-A to Point-B, I’m driving it.?

My mom’s husband had an old Chevy Impala (the kind the NYPD used to drive in the late ‘90s and 2000s) that he was getting ready to trade in in 2019. It was already paid off. I begged and pleaded with her to let me have it. Her husband had no problem with it. But no. She felt “embarrassed” in her words to be seen in that car whenever he drove her around and assured me, I’d drive something “better” than that. Nothing I said at the time could convince her. I wanted to rip my hair out. Ma’am we aren’t the Kardashians (thank God) and we’re barely middle class. I’d be happy to drive a freaking rickshaw at this point.?

Once that car comes into play, not only does commuting to work come easier but running those aforementioned errands too. I don’t have to ask to go anywhere I just have to inform where I’ll be. And believe me, I don’t plan on being home much once that happens. The ball was dropped big time a few years ago with letting the impala slip away. Come the spring, I’m picking that ball up and running with it.?

3. Travel?More?

Looking a bit longer term with this one. Truth be told I’m terrified of aircraft. But then I open up Instagram and see those I follow in all these different places around the world, and I find myself saying “Damn. That could be me. That should be me.” Before this decade of my life concludes, that will be me.?

I’m not jealous of my friends that travel. I’m happy to see them enjoy themselves and I don’t note this particular goal from the standpoint of trying to keep up with the Joneses, it’s more the fact I have yet to take a page out of their book. If I gotta pop a couple sleeping pills to calm my nerves and sleep through the flight so be it. I’ll be damned if my only view of Europe, South America, or the Caribbean is through my phone.?

Even stateside, there’s much to do and see. I’ve never been to Boston or Texas, strolled Los Angeles, or sat beachside in Miami. This decade, that changes. Travel enhances your world view and helps you better understand your fellow human. On that front, I’m in sore need of a crash course.?

4. Be Spontaneous & Less Regimented?

Part of it is my Asperger’s, part of it is also my upbringing. Routine and structure, structure and routine. A monotonous rhythm to my life that was perhaps beneficial to maintain in my younger years but is more of a nuisance at this stage.?

I mean sure, it’s good to be organized and have the important things mapped out so as to avoid unnecessary stress but outside of that? What am I doing? It’s beyond stupid to coordinate every waking aspect of the day. Sometimes the best plans are the ones that weren’t previously made.?

My brother-in-law and best friend Victor is awesome at that. It’s one of the many things I love about him. While not opposed to making arrangements in advance, he’s often times the first one to say let’s head out whenever he, my sister, and myself are just sitting around at their house.?

We don’t know where we’re going but man, do we always end up having the best time! I need to be that way too. Part of what I wrote previously about having autism is learning to challenge myself and try new things . Once fully independent, it’s time to live up to those words and live life a bit more on a whim than a regiment.?

5. Eventually…. Meet a?Girl?

I did say earlier in the column that I needed time alone to recover from years of living with and being surrounded by nothing but women. Between Mom, my older sister, my cousins, and all their friends, I was the only boy, and I was inundated. Why yes, I do have PTSD thank you for asking!?

On the somewhat bright side, the years of living with females has blessed me with a significantly better understanding of them. I don’t think of the plights of a woman from the often-linear male perspective but rather the female one. The kind of upbringing I had will do that to you.?

Though I have plenty of guy friends, I also find it easier as another result of my upbringing to connect and form friendships with women. For a good while in my teen years believe it or not, I had way more woman friends than guy friends, only balancing it out in recent times.?

Therefore, yes ladies I know what to do (and NOT do) when it’s that time of the month. I’ll cook for you and run to the store to get you those products. Just ask my mom and sister. I’ll take care of the vast majority of the chores around the house too. Why you ask? Because I was taught that way too. You won’t have to do much heavy lifting if I was in your life.

After a lengthy enjoyment of solitude and the benefits one’s bachelor status provides, I’m open to the idea of settling down with the right girl. I know I’d make a great boyfriend/husband. I’ve been through the boot camp. Not to mention the boot camp was comprised of latinas (Puerto Rican & Dominican to be exact) so I get extra points for that.?

More so, I want the relationship if/when it happens to be a meaningful one. Too many my age, male and female alike, are sex crazed and lust driven. Call me old school, but it’s a course I have zero interest in following. Don’t get me wrong I’m definitely aiming to settle down with a beautiful lady, but that can’t be the only reason I want her. A significant other after all is to be valued for their personality primarily, not their body. This is more a tentative goal than an absolute but one worth noting, nevertheless. I’m ok not hitting this one before my twenties conclude, you can’t rush something like this. That isn’t very prudent to do. Consider it more a bonus if you will.?

In Conclusion…

This year and this decade are the most important one of my life. It’s imperative I make it count and after years of waiting around and toiling in a one-dimensional, sheltered and downright toxic for reasons best reserved for another column, environment, I’m ready to pull the trigger on these goals and finally seize the moment. It’s my year, it’s my decade, it’s my twenties, it’s my life. And best believe, I’m going to live it to the fullest or die trying.?

Mike Colón is the host of the Mic’d In New Haven Podcast which can be found on all podcast platforms and is simulcast in video form on YouTube