Coherence

How do we respond to all the complexity we are facing? That is a question I’ve had the privilege of exploring in a workshop called “Problem-Solving” with Lynda Caesara this week in Berkeley, CA. There is quite a lot of dissonance in the world. But rather than discussing pragmatic problem-solving tools (no consultant issue trees here), we’ve been engaging with the energetic foundations of problem-solving (e.g. energy follows thought, a cycle of expansion and contraction is natural, support is always available if you ask for it). You might be thinking this sounds a bit woo-woo, and it does. But I’ve also found, after studying with Lynda for these past three years, that it works. I experience less friction in life and find that challenges have a way of resolving themselves if I ask for help. And so I keep learning and practicing.

The principle that has stuck with me most this past week is that “coherence resolves dissonance.” One definition of coherence is “the quality of forming a unified whole.” If we can focus our attention on being coherent, unified, and whole (rather than scattered or out of alignment), we can create more coherence in the world. The more coherence there is, the more everything that feels inflamed will start to settle and resolve. It feels a little bit like magic, but it works.

So how do we create coherence? We can cultivate it in ourselves, of course, through meditation and mindfulness. But we can also reference external sources of coherence. Nature is one source – think about how you feel after a walk in the woods, or in a park, or along a coastline. But there are other coherent fields in the world – music, poetry, sacred places – basically, anything that soothes your soul and calms your nervous system. We can lean on these external sources to create coherence in ourselves. And once we can hold coherence in ourselves, we find that stuck energy around us begins to move and resolve.

Accessing coherence is something anyone can do. Even taking a few minutes to pause and pray invites it in. I love this poem by Mary Oliver for making the concept of prayer so accessible. Prayer doesn’t have to be grand, or even religious. Rather, it’s about focusing your attention on something and then asking for what you need, or giving thanks for something. It’s the intention, not the words, that matters. If you’re feeling out of coherence, perhaps try focusing your attention on something that grounds you and ask for help. And then – as one friend of mine would say – allow for the possibility of being positively surprised by what happens next.

About Friday Pauses

We can all sense how a lack of presence in our daily life affects the quality of our relationships, our ability to form real connections – and yet we struggle to set aside distractions. In my Friday Pauses, I want to encourage us all to do just that – pause for a moment and feel what it’s like to be present by reading a poem.

If you’re new to Friday Pause, here’s what I suggest:

• Minimize or close other screens.
• Put your phone on silent.
• Close your eyes and take a full breath in…and out. Maybe count to four on the inhale and six on the exhale.
• Read the poem below – out loud, if you can. It will slow you down and help you feel the words more.
• Take another deep breath in…and out.
• Resume your day.