Cognifit Coach: Brendan & The Pursuit of Happiness...

The United States Declaration of Independence tells us that the right to pursue happiness is a God-given right. It isn't, of course, any kind of guarantee that you are going to actually find happiness, but at least you were born with the right to pursue it.

So far, I haven't really said anything very deep.

Of course we are all pursuing happiness in everything we do. In fact, Aristotle famously said "Man is born for only one purpose — to be happy." and yet, despite our best efforts, lots of people would say that true happiness is rather elusive. Happiness seems to wax and wane, and getting a hold on it is... tricky, so we can start out by asking what we actually mean by happiness.?

Aristotle used the word?Eudaimonia?which has been weakly translated as "happiness", but a closer understanding of the Greek word would be "flourishing" or perhaps "living well". It refers to a way of skillful living, an attitude of excellence with regard to your own life, of living up to your highest ideals and bravely following a calling. THAT for Aristotle is what happiness is all about. It might sound like rather a tall order at first but notice what is missing from the list: Health, wealth, beauty, material possessions, the perfect spouse, approval from others, lot's of friends, the perfect body, or a beautiful house in a great neighbourhood with 2.5 children and a dog. You can include as many of these things as you like in your life but they are not requirements.

It is certainly true that with nothing going for you as far as material wealth is concerned, you can still improve every single moment of every single day with regard to living up to your own ideals, sharpening your attitude and heading courageously towards a noble calling. Martin Seligman (founder of positive psychology), in his book "Flourish", gives a similar definition when he describes what he calls "well being" as "the joy we feel striving after our potential." So, perhaps we need to push aside any concept that the key to a happy life is to be found in acquisition. It isn't about having anything, but rather a process of turning to our own values and striding confidently into our hearts deepest yearning. It is about discovering and then living up to our potential. Our potential can be found in those things that energize us when we participate, in those moments in which you are spontaneous and creative, in a flow state in which time flies, and those activities that you love to do well. This doesn't mean, of course, that you can make any money when you live your purpose, but the ancient philosophers assure us that happiness is not something to be bought or found because it isn't a thing at all. "There is no way to happiness" they say "Happiness is the way".

Material things come and go from your life. You may have the perfect life, wealthy in every conceivable way, and yet know that the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune may rain misfortune on everything you have. People die or leave, money eventually gets spent, stolen or wasted, the perfect body gets old and wizen, and that beautiful house turns to rubble. If happiness depends on these things, then it too turns eventually to rubble.?The wise members of the Stoic school, call these nice-to-have material things "preferred indifferents" meaning that although they might be nice to have, they are not in any way contributing to true happiness. So we should be clear on what is important and what is not.

The Stoics were all about how skillfully you lived your life. Once again, it comes down to finding a meaning for your life and then throwing yourself wholeheartedly into that meaning. Preferred indifferents will come and go as life fluctuates but you can always be on the path to greater and greater expression of your excellence. So to live a life of ,?Eudaimonia?we need to have the courage (a Stoic value) to discover what we really want to do with what is left of our days on this planet. When life is unfair and cruel to us, we respond according to our most treasured values. If we value kindness, strength and family (for example) then your path of?Eudaimonia?is paved with the balance of those very values, even in the face of challenge. Others might attempt to goad us into playing a fools game but if our response is consistently the courageous expression of our highest values, then we will never be fools.

Here's a story:

An old cat was prowling the side-streets and alleyways of his home town when he came across a kitten who was spinning around frenetically in a vain attempt to catch his tail in his jaws. The older cat was perplexed by this seemingly odd behaviour and sat calmly watching as the kitten went on wearing himself out. When this enthusiastic youngster had finally run out of steam, he ground to a halt and lay flat on his back panting from the exhaustion. "Young one" Laughed the older feline, "I was wondering what it was you were up to back then". The kitten sprang bolt upright, a little startled by the appearance of this adult observer. "Oh... Hello." he stuttered "Well you see, sir... I learned in cat school that happiness is right there in the tip of my tail. I figure..." He straightened up into a proud posture "...that I can catch it. Once I get a hold of that, I'll be fine forever". The old cat listened carefully and then replied in a calm purring voice. "Well, I totally agree that happiness is in our tails, but I don't need to chase mine. All I do is live my cat life as best I can. I move in the direction of everything that's important to me. Happiness must be in my tail... because it follows me around wherever I go."

Happiness becomes our reality when we are flowing down our heart-chosen path. I mean to sharpen my faculties and embrace the meaning that my chosen calling offers me. For this reason I train my cognitive fitness and expand my psychological flexibility, I read and learn, write and meditate. I take care of my family and make sure the finances are in order. I do my job with love and attention. I take care of my health and my physical fitness. It's not really a special life. There's no sports car parked in my driveway and my bank account isn't quite as flush as I'd like it but if happiness is what these philosophers say it is, I can still be the happiest old cat in town.?

Author : Brendan Carl Clarke

Cognifit Video Coach & Mindfulness Guide