Coffee Talk #23: Taking a break (as well as a new beginning)

With the start of the new year, there is of course the obvious approach towards new ideas, fresh perspectives, as well as a good intention or two. Things will be better. Things will be amazing. This year will be the year. This year is going to be awesome! Reading or hearing about someones (probably) well-thought-of strategy, is common ground to most of us. The average social media feed tends to deliver these posts in abundance, but only exclusively halfway through December into early January. If you missed the train, you need to wait a full year before you get another chance. Of course, these messages can serve as an inspiration for others, maybe even raising the bar a bit more, or even instigating some healthy competition. A question I often find myself asking, is why do people wait until the new year to embark on their serious path towards change?

The common grain of salt in this territory, comes with those whose declarations-of-self already seem unattainable the second they come out of their mouths. Like, January 1st I’ll quit smoking for good! or I will never drink on weekdays again! Except for Thursdays, because that’s almost Friday. And the occasional Monday, when the weekend was truly vicious. We have all have heard such claims among our circles.

Looking back on the previous decades, I’m pretty sure I’ve come up with a few resolutions on my own. Only two come to mind right now. So, in terms of Broken Promises & Forgotten Resolutions, I am in fact guilty as charged. Which pretty much entails my personal standing on resolutions that find their origins in the start of a new calendar. Not to be discouraging towards others, quite the contrary. I applaud, and sometimes even envy, someone’s ability to envision both short-term as well as long-term goals, and staying motivated to reach the desired finish line.

In general, I prefer to refrain from being vocal about any. The spark of interest, at least to me, isn’t necessarily about focusing on gaining something new, but actually on leaving something behind. My brain is wired differently than the vast majority, I know. And I have enough self-knowledge to firmly attest I am far from Guru material. Life-altering views and advice should definitely not be expected from my end. But here’s an unapologetic take towards life anyway, which can be flipped towards one’s personal, as well as career life: Learning or further developing a skill, is amplifying growth. Unlearning or destroying a bad habit, is the fuel that propels you into the next version of yourself.

Circling back to those two resolutions I do remember: Number 1, ironically, is that I quit smoking a few years ago. Bad habits die slow, and with that in mind, I started to significantly cut down the habit on the first day of the year. A month later, the goal was accomplished. Number 2 is actually from last year, for which I envisioned myself to read and write more. Looking back, I can gladly say I’ve kept myself to it. Knowing a bit about myself and how I’m wired, I realise staying motivated played a key part in reaching these achievements. Definitely not something I could write a self-development book about, my voice simply isn’t destined to go that route. But since I’m throwing unsolicited takes out there anyway, here’s another one from personal experience: Keep focusing on the gains. Whatever you’ve defined for yourself, or whatever it is you’re after, keep that image alive.

The Coffee Talk inception brought me more than I initially imagined it would, in a positive way. To avoid setting myself up for failure, I figured I’d do 5 or 6 of them. Having delivered 22 instead, makes it a nice personal accomplishment which clearly exceeded my own humble expectations.

So what’s next on the menu? The title already hints towards something, without giving any clue at what that might be. Looking back on what I’ve written the previous year, I see a trial-and-error approach towards finding my niche. I’m definitely getting closer to figuring out what that is, but I still need to hone my craft further to fully get there. Just to name a few, so far the experience itself taught me where not to go, what not to write, and what not to try. Clearly, elimination, or leaving behind, works. And for the fanbase that manifested itself during this ride, I’ll be sure to wrap up the loose ends that are still meandering through the previous Coffee Talks, somewhere along the way.

And for now? Coffee, as always. And contemplation. We’re on a break. Most of these words have been jotted down in the vicinity of an idyllic beach, somewhere in the Strait of Malacca. A tropical island paradise, where good vibes roam freely, and a slow pace comes naturally. The perfect place to self-reflect, and write a thing or two down.