Coffee and Closeness

I haven't always been a coffee drinker. Part of it was the acquired taste, and part was not understanding it as a social tool in America.

Regardless of the setting, from office to outdoor work site, sharing coffee with someone isolates the moment. It reduces surrounding noise and allows you to focus more intently on the conversation at hand. It also subtlely lowers the intensity of discussions. It's hard to race through dialogue when purposefully pausing to embrace an earthy swig of goodness.

Sounding Board Sips

In my book 30 Worthy Guides, I noted, "As we travel through life in our various roles, we'll need help. It's a simple truth." And some of my greatest mentoring moments occurred while sharing time with someone over a couple of cups of coffee.

That time seems less formal and more creative. Much like the steam rising above the rim, there is a certain freeness in venting your thoughts into an open space. Less pressure exists when you feel at ease and are jotting notes on a napkin instead of taking formal notes in a structured business setting. You permit yourself to explore.

Slowing for the Listen

A coffee in hand is a physical reminder to slow down. We've trained ourselves in life to be mindful when transporting liquid in a cup so that we don't spill it. The same prompt allows us to slow our processes around conversations.

When we focus on consuming our drink casually, we naturally slow down to listen and learn about the other person or party's issue from their viewpoint. We are not inclined to project a quick solution to their story. If anything, we ask follow-up questions to allow us an opportunity to enjoy another drink and, more importantly, help them explore their thoughts about the situation. The level of the coffee serves as a natural timer to the flow of talks.

Through the years, I've grown to appreciate the convenience a coffee break offers for adjusting focus, networking opportunities, and building relationships. Whether meeting someone at the back of a conference room or setting a meeting date at a local cafe, something hits different with coffee in hand. The conversation seems more personal. It's a little more inviting.

So, I would encourage everyone to step back and ask yourself, "When was the last time you shared a coffee with a colleague, friend, or family member?" You'd be surprised what you'll get out of it—it's not always the caffeine that gives you the jolt of energy! And remember, if someone is willing to invest the time to share with you, be appreciative—they believe in you.? ? ??