Cody. My Mother's Namesake and Path Forward.

I left my “corporate” job in April of 2022 after 15 years of marketing at large healthcare companies. I was fortunate to travel around the globe, visit hundreds of different health systems, gain exposure to programs and experiences that were world-class, and do what I love- solve problems in the healthcare space… and I felt really successful doing it. The one problem that I couldn’t solve for by the time 2022 came rolling around was balance in my life while working that role, and hustling in that environment.

My mom was diagnosed with Dementia in 2017 and it crushed me. The first few years were manageable, but I realized during the pandemic that when things went back to normal for everyone else, my life would not be returning to such a place. In the fall of 2021, my Dad suffered a cardiac event that required him to be hospitalized for nearly a week. I had to stay with my mom around the clock for those 4-5 days. She couldn’t cook, or really feed herself. She needed help with toileting and getting her medications. This was also when I realized she no longer knew who I was, or that she was a Mom. I grieved her loss that fall. This is when I saw that companies are not equipped to handle the caregiving crisis. There was no bereavement for this. There was no sympathy card to be given by corporate. When early in 2022 came and I approached people about my need for more time as a caregiver, I was given some really wonderful options- take a sabbatical, use FMLA, etc. The issue was all of those were time bound. My journey was not. I needed more flexibility to scale my work life up and down as my caregiving needs ebbed and flowed.

I ultimately left and started working independently. ?The first year I had line of sight to what needed to happen at my parent’s house to support them. The first summer I was able to work 20 hours a week in the manner I wanted to with a small start-up and an independent physician practice. With the other “traditional working hours” I helped my Dad get my Mom set up with more assistance, move things around the house for safety, etc. This was a great balance. I was working on projects that challenged me, kept me in the workforce, and kept me relevant; all the while helping my family.

As 2023 came about I could see my Mom deteriorating more and it was a bit daunting taking on new projects with the unknown getting bigger and no corporate benefits package behind me. This is when I was able to bring in another person to partner with me, Cheryn Bastable Byron . I now had a contingency plan. This enabled me, again, to keep working. I could pay my bills and not dip into savings, stay current on trends, and keep my confidence up.

When 2024 hit, the infrastructure I set up was tested. My Dad suffered a horrible accident at home in January, my Mom needed full time care, and with him rushed off to the hospital via ambulance, I again was in the house I grew up in with a totally different role than the one I held as a child. I was also again, away from kids, my spouse, and my routine on a whim. I was able to fall back on Cheryn, and even work a few hours in the throws of all of this, but it was hard. While the nursing home was incredible, we as a family still had to chip in. The workforce shortage is no joke

My Mom ultimately passed away in May. I have spoken publicly about how incredible my Mom was- her compassion, her selflessness, and her incredible kindness to everyone she met. ?While I didn’t leave my job for my kids, but rather to help with the care of my Mom, I ended up finding a silver lining with my kids and my career.

1.??????? Vulnerability. My kids saw me vulnerable. I would get home from the nursing home heart broken. I would cry my eyes out in the car and then gather myself before coming in. My 7 year old daughter saw right through it and would often times just hug me without saying anything. Some days this would return me to tears. We read books about grief and emotions, and I feel like we both evolved in a way I never thought possible.

2.??????? I lost control. If I am being honest, I am more of a control freak than I like to admit. Not having control over my Mom’s health was so hard. Managing my father’s reactions and emotions was unexpectedly painful. Saying to some clients, “I am so sorry, I cannot do that project- I am at capacity” was really hard when I was so intrigued by the work. This also made me appreciate the power I have on the other side of this experience. I can be fluid, I can trust my network, and I can bounce back.

3.??????? Resiliency. I worked with my friend, Mark McGarry in the months prior to my Dad’s accident on resiliency as an entrepreneur… working alone can be hard sometimes. Building out a toolbox on how to handle stress, pain, and unexpectedness enabled me to be resilient beyond my wildest dreams.

In the end, I look at some of the pictures of me and Mom in this post, and I see a young kid who hit the lottery as a 5-week-old baby who was matched with parents eager to adopt a baby girl. That Mom… my Mom, modeled unrelenting love and support to me. I believe prioritizing my family over the unending corporate ladder, and building a new path (and arguably an independent ladder), has led me to where I am now. I hope this ride continues, but there are no guarantees. I learned that in 2024.

Cheers to whatever your path is. May it be successful and with intention.

Carol “Cody” Viola, December 1946- May 2024.