Cocooning

Today is a new moon and the resurrection of my Living ROI blog, which will now appear on each new moon. Why the new moon? The new moon is an opportunity to assess where we are and to begin anew. It’s a reminder that we live in a physical world where the sun and moon rise and set each day, and the seasons change. It’s far too easy for us to forget the magical physical world in which we live, and instead get bogged down in the world inside the digital environments where we often work and play.

These are intense times in the world. This new moon, in Pisces, is an opportunity to soothe the soul through healing and self-compassion. We could all use more of that right now.

This blog will continue to be a reflection of life in many dimensions, from work to relationships to personal development. I’ve taken a long break from it as my life has been evolving. Externally, it has been a time of action for me in terms of engaging in graduate school and helping ROI navigate the new waters of being an employee-owned business. Internally, I have been cocooning.

So much is transforming in my life, from my role at work, to how I spend my time, and even where I live. I feel like a caterpillar in the cocoon, wondering what exactly is going to happen next. It’s an exciting time, and also disconcerting for me to not have a specific longer-term plan. I’ve been told that it is in the “not knowing” where the good stuff happens.

Cocoon: envelop or surround in a protective or comforting way.

Cocooning is a critical process when experiencing life transformations. As Martha Beck says in her article on How to Deal With Major Life Changes, “What goes on in the cocoon of change isn’t always pretty, but the results can be beautiful.” Beck outlines the four phases of human metamorphosis:

1. Dissolving
2. Imagining
3. Re-forming
4. Flying

Dissolving is the scariest phase, especially if you’re someone who has a strong sense of identity and need for control. In this phase, the person you have been is dissolving and the person you will become has not formed yet. Beck says, “Dissolving isn’t something you do; it’s something that happens to you. The closest you’ll come to controlling it is relaxing and trusting the process.” I encourage you to read Beck's article if you find yourself, or a loved one, in the throes of change.

I was talking with my daughter, Marina, about this process of metamorphosis and how it is something you can't really control. She said, "like vomiting?" Yes, exactly! I told her I'd put that in my blog but she didn't believe me :). The dissolving phase has been difficult for me and my loved ones. I haven't been as emotionally available as I usually am. Per Marina's advice, I'm adding some of the not-so-pretty parts of this process. When one is drawn into themselves during this time, it's harder to connect and be there for others.

Even though all the signs for major life change were there in my life—empty nest, a brush with cancer and my mortality, transitioning the business I founded, starting grad school—this psychological metamorphosis caught me totally by surprise. First, I ignored it. Then, I resisted it. Now I am patiently waiting for the butterfly to emerge.

As we go through these personal changes, the world at large carries on. I want to acknowledge the sadness, fear and destruction that is happening right now in the world. Regardless of your vantage point, or political perspective, this is a devastating time. Even if you don’t think the world turmoil touches you, inevitably you are feeling it unconsciously, so take good care of yourself.

Hopefully this new moon can assist. All new moons present new beginnings and opportunities, but today's new moon is especially lucky and conducive to healing. If you'd like to read more about this new moon, check out the 7 Ways to Harness This Transformative New Moon and why?This New Moon Is One Of The Most Positive Cosmic Events Of The Year.

I’m excited to reengage with this blog and my friends and colleagues who read it. If you haven’t heard from me personally in the last many months, now you know it’s because I have been in this internal space—when I’m not focusing on work, school and family. Thank you for your patience and grace.

See you on the next new moon!

Barbara