Cockroach Lovers, Martin Espada and the Value of Adult Learning
While the rest of my classmates at my high school were preparing to go to college in the summer of 1993, I was preparing to be a mother. My son was born on July 30, 1993.
I was 18.
Having a baby at 18 in the early 90's meant your access to services that would actually move you forward were limited. Food stamps? Yes. Housing? Yes. A little money for clothes and household items? Yes.
But actual help in the form of college scholarships or job training? No. So I moved to Massachusetts, enrolled in a local CNA program and started working to support my son.
In the Fall of 1996, I decided to take a college course. My dream was to become a teacher, so I enrolled in an adult learning program near my home. The class met at 10 in the morning and my son had just started preschool, so the timing was perfect. I worked second shift so I had plenty of time to go to class, get him from preschool and bring him to my mother.
(Photo: me and my son the Fall I enrolled to take my first college course).
The first course I took was called "Poetry 101" and it was taught by professor Margaret Szumowski (RIP). Professor Szumowski introduced me to poets like Lucille Clifton, whose poems reminded me a lot of my own in the way they were written:
Lots of space.
Brief but powerful.
Relatable topics like love, motherhood, and being a larger black woman in America.
I had spent an entire lifetime reading poems by Emily Dickinson and even Maya Angelou thinking that was the only way to write.
It was not!
After having the poetic restrictions lifted, I wrote more poems that year than ever before (and even started an open mic at a place called Gasoline Alley than ran for many years and sparked an open mic movement in Springfield), and I was also introduced to the amazing work of poet Martin Espada.
Specifically, his poem "My cockroach lover".
My Cockroach Lover The summer I slept on JC's couch, there were roaches between the bristles of my toothbrush, roaches pouring from the speakers of the stereo. A light flipped on in the kitchen at night revealed a Republican National Convention of roaches, an Indianapolis 500 of roaches.
Read the full poem here.
His description of something so simple (roaches scattering in the kitchen when the lights are turned on overnight), yet so relatable just blew me away! I won't go into detail here but if you know, you know.
This poem hit home with a lot of us.
Fast forward a few years later. I took another course, (this time economics: YIKES), and my professor’s name was Katherine Gilbert-Espada. I'll admit, her last name made me think of Martin Espada, but I didn't make the connection. I was sure Martin Espada lived in LA where all the other famous people lived.
Until the end of the semester when Professor Gilbert-Espada invited us to her home for dinner.
Picture it:
Our esteemed professor and her caravan of adult learners wearing sweatshirts and jeans, hospital scrubs and business suits. One of us even had a baby with us! We ranged in ages from 17 to 70.
How we ultimately arrived at college as adult learners widely varied:
- Some were in a college classroom for the first time because they went right to work after high school (Or they had a baby after high school like I did.)
- Some were in their "3rd act" after raising children (and husbands?) for decades and working a career they absolutely hated. This was THEIR time.
- And some were traditional college students still living at home. Young. Eager!
- Some came straight from their overnight shift at the local Pride station, nursing home, police station, fire department or factory.
- Some didn't even have to work- their expenses were paid by parents, spouses, inheritances, etc.
We were all seated around her table eating brownie sundaes just as a door opened from one of the back rooms.
Who walks in?
MARTIN ESPADA!!!
None of the other students knew who he was but I did! If you have never seen/ met Martin, his stature is immediately noticeable.
As much as I wanted to tumble onto the floor in a heap of admiration, I maintained my composure.
He sat down at the table (be still my heart!!!) and talked to us about our college experience so far.
How were we managing our time?
What did our home life look like? Were we married? Kids? Pets? Who did we live with? Did we have a quiet place to study? Did we know the college had several spaces on campus to study?
How were we paying for school? Did we know about scholarships?
After 10 min or so, my professor said: "And honey, Crystal is a POET!"
I froze. Me??? A poet?
Martin turned to me. Really? He said.
"Share a poem with me."
(!!!)
If there was a fainting couch nearby, honey I would have fainted!
But instead, I grabbed my tattered composition book and turned to the only poem I was brave enough to share:
"The Happiness of Insects" (the title alone should tell you just how epic my poem was).
"The Happiness of Insects" Crystal Senter-Brown (c) 1996 (copyright? how? LOL) November cold. Dog sleeps in the hallway. You will be gone for a few more days. I eat whatever I want no diet here, I order pizza and carrot cake and my son and I eat right in the bed. at least the ants are happy when you are away.
Y'all.
I thought my poem was so deep! The strange line breaks make me think I was attempting some fancy poetic form I had recently learned, but your guess is as good as mine.
As I read my poem, Martin nodded and said "that's pretty good." (See? Gracious.)
As he excused himself from the table a few minutes later, I sat there in awe:
Martin Espada listened to my poem!
After that, I had to carry my enlarged head around with me in a suitcase. :)
I saw Martin again many years later at one of his readings and he remembered meeting me at his home all those years ago. He even signed my book in reference to it. >>>>>>
He asked if I was still writing, I said yes as I presented him with my first self-published book of poetry: Doubledutch.
My then 10-year old son said "I'm a writer too! I write raps!" (he is 27 now and is still writing and rapping).
I have published seven books so far and I am working on my 8th. Because of Martin and his willingness to listen to a green poet, even with his long list of accomplishments and awards as a writer, I am no longer nervous to share the work I am not sure about. I also now take the time to help other younger poets to publish their first chapbooks.
I fully believe my love of poetry grew as I took courses as an adult learner, because I was not only exposed to poems by writers different from myself, but it also allowed me the time and space away from my home and work responsibilities to actually create.
To think.
To grow.
Have you ever taken a course as an adult learner to enrich your professional/ personal or home life? What was it and how did you apply it to your life?
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We are all connected by our unique stories. And Crystal Senter-Brown teaches others how to use their own story to inspire and encourage others: whether it is through her work as adjunct faculty in Bay Path University's Women as Empowered Learners and Leaders program, her community work as a member of the Springfield Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. or through her Give a Girl a Mic and Write Where You Are workshops for budding writers of all ages.
An award-winning writer and screenwriter, Crystal has published seven books and has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Essence Magazine, Rolling Out Magazine and Redbook Magazine. Her devotions/reflections have been published in The Upper Room and Our Daily Bread. She has also worked in the area of non-profit/ fundraising/ higher education area for over 20 years, helping students and volunteers to find their life's work.
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Thanks to colleges like my beloved American Women's College at Bay Path University, college courses can now be taken from anywhere, anytime. This is how I ultimately earned my undergraduate degree while working full time at the American Cancer Society. I then went on to earn my Masters in Nonprofit Management and Philanthropy from Bay Path's gradate program.)