Coaching: Why I might not give advice. How to tell the fake ‘gurus’ from those who will make a difference for you in your life.

I’m grateful that people come to me asking for advice. But there are times I can’t offer it and let me tell you why. This especially applies to questions that I get on social media.

I might get a question, the same question, from ten different people but I may give ten different answers.

One piece of advice does not necessarily fit all. The reason is because each one of those ten people have different backgrounds.

They have different beliefs and values. They all think differently.

I would be offering someone a disservice and giving them ill advice if answered a question on social media without spending time learning more about them. And social media certainly isn’t the platform for that.

I get people asking me very deep questions. Everything from relationship advice to financial advice.

I might get a question like, ‘Should I stay with my boyfriend, he’s abusive?’ Most fake gurus or coaches would answer with a resounding, ‘Yes, leave him!’

I would lean to answering with a ‘yes’ too but I’d want more information. What do you think my first question would be?

Here it is. Define abuse? Maybe this person is blowing things out of proportion. How am I to know.

I would have no idea without having a conversation. This is why I don’t offer advice through social media. Here are a few more questions I might entertain. 

Does he just raise his voice at you? Is that the kind of abuse you are referring to? Does he just do this out of the blue for no reason at all? Are either one of you on drugs? Do you piss him off so much that he can’t stand being around you?

What triggers the situation? How much stress is he under? Is this a normal pattern for him? Specifically how is he abusing you?

I could go on and on with the questions I would have to ask before sharing my thoughts and giving answers that I know would make a difference and a change in this person’s life.

In fact, before I agree to take on a client they must agree that our sessions will be done over video chat. I won’t do consultations over the phone. The reason is because by watching a person I’m able to read so much about them by how they communicate with me and respond.

This enables me to give the very best advice I can. My eyes become my ears.

Here is something to think about too. When someone asks for advise, if you really want to help them then first get intel.

We refer to intel on our team as intelligence. You have to gather intel or intelligence and the only way you are going to be able to do that is to ask questions.

Also, be careful of someone willing to give you advice if they don’t first start asking you lots of questions. 

If you’ve ever thought of working with me here is the link to click to find out more information: www.GaryCoxe.com/Coaching