Coaching as a Tool to Find Your “Why”

My decisions in life are driven by who I really am at my core, the values I live by and the pursuit of my larger ‘Why’. But time and again, I have felt lost on this path. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Confused. There have been times when the needs of this moment supersede the vision of the larger goal. Moments when everything seems like a blur. I can compare it to driving on a foggy mountain road where you know that beauty exists but the fog doesn’t let you see it.

The pivotal moment in my life came when I was offered the support of an Executive Coach. With ease, she was able to remove the fog and create a space where I could go deeper. Her questions pierced my reality. With each passing session, I went from being dependent to independent to finally dependable. She helped me find my ‘Why’ and once I had it, I had no intentions of letting it go. At that moment, I decided, when I grow up, I will be a coach and help others find their ‘Why’.

Before we dive deeper into ‘how coaching helps you find your 'why’, let’s first understand what it means to have a ‘WHY’.?

WHY is such a small word with so much depth attached to it. A simple three-letter word instantly makes you question your life’s purposes. It makes us go down a roller coaster starting with questions that we had in our childhood “Why was I born?”, “What is the purpose of my life?”, “What am I on this planet for?”.?

Karma says, “You are born for a reason” and it is your duty to realize the answers to your “Why am I born? What is the reason?”. Your 'Why' determines your goal in life. For me, the exploration of the coaching sessions I had helped clear the fog and enlighten the path to achieve my goal. This was the time when I realized the 'Why' of my being.

Why is our 'Why' so important?

Determining your 'Why' is the first step to your achievement. The development of your ‘Why’ will connect you with your purpose, help you find your way, and will help you recognize the unique strengths and skills you possess, your passion and motivation, and also determine your hyper-productivity pockets. If your ‘Why’ is clear, you will attract people who have a similar ‘Why’. Together you will complete each other. As Simon Sinek said the purpose of our WHY is to attract those who believe what YOU believe.

Not everyone is intrinsically sufficient to find their 'Why' and sometimes they need the support of a coach to create the conditions where the 'Why' could emerge. There are no rules in this game. It is absolutely perfect to live without a 'Why' but having a 'Why' makes your path more intentioned. You can find different ways to find your 'Why' and to each its own but since I am an executive coach and coaching helped me find mine, I am going to focus on it.

Now, what exactly is “coaching”?

According to the International Coach Federation, “Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” The Institute For Life Coach Training defines coaching as “A professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, businesses or organizations, helping them to bridge the gap between where they are now and where they want to be.”

To me, coaching is a magical tool where the coach, in a non-judgemental, unbiased way, creates the space for the coachee to evolve. The deep process of questioning, reflecting, and then moving forward, if done right, can seem like a ballet.

How does Coaching help find your 'Why'?

The coach is like a mirror. A coach doesn’t layer your response with their own biases and share it back with you. Instead, a coach simply reflects who you are. This hard look at yourself, assisted by the strong questions that a coach can ask helps you find your ‘Why’ and beyond.?

The three pillars of coaching that I personally use with my coachees are Inquiry, Accountability, and Connection - each focuses on helping the coachee dive a little deeper into their inner selves.

The goal of “Inquiry” is not to get influenced by the coach’s point of view, instead, to collectively dwell and help the coachee recognize his point of view or in other words his “why”. The coach’s duty is to ask questions, inquire about his doings, generate curiosity which helps the coachee reach their “why”.

Where “Accountability” is concerned, it is the duty of the coach to make sure that his coachee does not lose sight of his goal. The coach is accountable to get them back on track and running again, this time faster.?

In the case of “Connection”, the coach’s aim is to make sure that the coachee is developing a better connection with himself and his team. The stronger the connection, the better is the outcome achieved by the team as a whole.?

According to the ICF Global Coaching Client Study, coaching does work and is largely effective. The survey has proven to be efficient in improvising the teams’ work performance, has effectively shown more growth and opportunities, alongside better time and business management leading to increased team effectiveness. Concerning the individuals’ intra-personal skills and abilities, it has effectively shown greater self-confidence, better communication abilities, enhanced relationships, improved health, and wellness and also a better work-and-life balance. 86% of organizations saw an ROI on their Coaching engagements, & 96% of those who had an Executive Coach said they would repeat the process again.?

According to a Harvard Business School study, the top reasons for coaching are to develop high potentials or facilitate transition (48%), act as a sounding board (26%), and address derailing behavior (12%).

Coaching helps you improve your interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. It also helps the organization as a whole to gain clarity on the company’s goals and purposes. Manifests ideas that help create a balance and hence increase productivity. It’ll help you remain in the action mode and keep getting better at every step. Coaching also helps you to find your “why” and determine how to achieve that “why”.

The only duty that the coachee has is to adapt to change. They must allow the in-flow of the coach’s directives and be acceptable to growth without compromising on their zest to work. It is a two-way process, the coachee needs to share all the perspectives, problems, obstacles they are facing and what changes are they hoping for, only then can it be converted to an achievable desire while still being a work-in-progress. As Aristotle said, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.

And as I close, I quote Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out your why.” If you are ready to unleash the potential within you, then join me for a coaching conversation. I look forward to it!